


Natblida

by justAlilfan



Category: Fear the Walking Dead (TV), The 100 (TV), The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Crossover, F/F, F/M, Multiple Crossovers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-06
Updated: 2020-09-10
Packaged: 2021-01-24 12:43:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 70,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21338437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justAlilfan/pseuds/justAlilfan
Summary: Alicia's twin sister died while still a baby, or so she believed. Yet someone who knows the truth desperately needs to find her in a time Commander Lexa could really use some help.IMPORTANT:This is a crossover - The 100 x Fear the Walking Dead x The Walking Dead
Relationships: Alicia Clark & Clarke Griffin, Alicia Clark & Lexa, Alicia Clark & Negan, Alicia Clark & Victor Strand, Alicia Clark/Original Male Character(s), Bellamy Blake & Clarke Griffin, Bellamy Blake & Lexa, Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Lexa&Original Male Character, Magna & Alicia Clark, Magna & Lexa, Magna/Yumiko (Walking Dead), Octavia Blake & Clarke Griffin & Raven Reyes
Comments: 37
Kudos: 117





	1. Pilot

**Author's Note:**

> IMPORTANT NOTES
> 
> This story:  
\- Takes place by the end of season 3 of the 100  
\- Season 5 of Fear the Walking Dead did not happen  
\- Takes place after the Whisperers’ war in the Walking Dead (I cannot yet know who will actually survive or not so I won’t make assumptions and take in all the characters that are alive by now)  
\- Since I cannot create a detailed believable explanation to mix both universes, we can just assume the apocalypse on The Walking Dead universe happened by the same time people had to leave in the Ark for space, in the 100. 
> 
> Character's notes:  
\- Lexa  
\- Alicia Clark  
\- Clarke Griffin  
\- Original Male Character named Benjen  
\- All characters from these series are likely to appear. 
> 
> Side note from the characters: Luna – the 100 – does not exist in this story. Instead, Magna – TWD - does.
> 
> Oh, and just so there is no doubt:  
BOLD - letters, plates, written things characters come accross with.  
ITALIC - Character's thoughts
> 
> Hope you like this story! I apologize for any grammar or english mistakes. I tried my best!

The usual sounds of dead people walking on the roads could be heard from a long distance. Lots of them were accumulating on that town, after the young lady did not seem to mind her noisiness.

She felt numb.

Totally numb.

She had managed to climb to the rooftop of the closest building once she realized she had caught the attention of many roamers.

_Sometimes I just wish they would bite me. _She thought.

Yet again, there was something stronger than her. Some kind of supernatural instinct for survival that made her move and be safe. Maybe that what has gotten her so far. What helped her go through much and survive the most unlikely of scenarios she never believed she could.

** _Dear Alicia,_ **

** _My gorgeous baby girl, always the strongest of us all…_ **

** **

She glanced at the crumpled piece of paper once again, after probably the millionth time, and yet again uncertain of what to feel.

If rage or sorrow.

If spite or certain benevolence.

The uncertainty of the extent of people who knew that truth hurt her though. She could not be sure how many people knew while she stood all the years of her life in the ignorance.

** _I need to write this because I cannot be sure I will ever find the courage to tell you this. I am sorry. _ **

** _So I just need you to know, in case something happens to me…_ **

** **

It had been over two months that Alicia left the people she was with. She could still see Strand’s hurt expression and Morgan begging her to stay with them, to go with them and help them with their plans.

She couldn’t though, she couldn’t be around people at the moment.

She needed space.

She needed time.

** _When I found out I was pregnant, after Nick, I was pregnant with twins…_ **

** _I didn’t gave birth to you, not only you. Dear God, you were both so perfect baby girls…_ **

** **

It was June who gave her that letter. But only a long time after her mother died.

_I think they all knew but wouldn’t just tell me. My mother would not tell me. No one told me this, but why? _She couldn’t help her thoughts _What was the problem with just telling me the truth?_

** _She was still a baby when we discovered there was something wrong with your sister. We would not be told what it was but we were told straight away she would not make it… and she didn’t. _ **

** _It was all so fast… one minute she was there with us, the other she was gone. Just like that, we did not even have the chance to… I don’t know, process anything._ **

** _Your father went crazy after that and I… _ **

** **

Alicia guessed what was coming next the first time she read the letter. Her mother had her flaws and Alicia had truly felt it throughout the years. But looking back, she could only remembre the good things. In fact she could only find the greater things to look up to and follow.

It was the hidden truth that hurt her though.

And the fact she never told her.

The fact she had to leave a stupid letter to tell her something she should have known her whole life.

Alicia could not understand why that impacted their lives to a point they decided to hide this from her.

“Ugh!” She stood up, getting the piece of paper in her pocket and storming of the rooftop so she could find a safespot to spend the night. After all, with all those roamers on the road, she would not be able to leave so soon, safely.

_Did Nick know?_ She asked herself, trying to believe her brother would have told her such think, if he ever knew. _And Travis? He possibly knew. I mean, it almost feels like everyone knew except me. After all they all knew about the letter. _

She sighed, holding her sharpened machine gun barrel to use it on the three walkers that approached her, within the building. Easily taking them off, she searched them for something that could be useful.

“Gosh you are kidding me…” she whispered, holding the lighter one of the dead carried in his pocket. However, she stood up and continued her search for a safer place to spend the night, in the building.

She eventually found it and, during the next several hours tried to think of her search for supplies on the next day, or for a better map, or a vehicle even.

Yet her mind would always drift to the one thing she wanted to run from.

Sitting down, she picked up the piece of paper once again.

“I need to get rid of this…” She whispered, holding the lighter and finally burning her mother’s letter.

** _You deserved better, Alicia, and I am so sorry. _ **

** _I love you._ **

She read as the fire took over the final words.

“I am sorry too…” she whispered

Tomorrow would be a new day.

*Far away from there*

The young lady slowly opened her eyes, fearing the unknown environment she could already feel. Except the pain didn’t allow her to concentrate as she wished.

“Heda!”

Her eyes fell on the person who approached her. Had she seen her before? Probably, she didn’t know her name though.

“Ste yuj, Heda… we thought we lost you” she sighed, with a small smile on her face.


	2. CHAPTER 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT NOTE: By the end of season 3 (the 100), Clarke destroyed Allie indeed, but in this story we don’t need to worry about the nuclear power plants melting down.
> 
> I apologize in advance for any English or grammar mistakes!

“Choj op, Heda”

Lexa took a deep breath as the woman helped her into a sitting position so she could eat. Her eyes observed her calmly.

“How can I call you?”

The older woman showed her a smile “Thia, Heda”

“Hmm” she observed the bandages over her abdomen, unsure of what really happened.

“Fayogon” Thia explained “Skaikru gon”

“What happened?”

“Everyone believes you are dead, Heda.” She spoke “Titus brought what I believed was your corpse to me. Yu kik thru”

The former commander remained silent. The last moments she remembered were like a blur in her mind. She did remember Clarke next to her.

She could only remember Clarke…

“Everything was chaotic after you _died._” Thia explained “Ontari wanted to be the next Commander, she murdered all the Natblidas.”

Lexa’s full attention was on Thia, by that moment “What?” She moved her hand to her neck.

“Yes, Heda. Titus removed the flame… But I do not believe he kept it.”

“Where is Titus?!”

“Dead, Heda”

Lexa gulped, taking a moment to process all the information. Titus always did everything for her. Yes, he would do it for any commander. But she knew he cared for her.

“Who is the commander, now?” She asked

“No one, officially, Heda.” Thia explained “The flame is missing. There is a war out there, for it”

“Clarke…” Lexa whispered.

If Titus gave away the flame, there was no one else he could possibly give it to. He knew Lexa trusted Clarke.

“How long have I been here?” Lexa asked

“Over two months, Heda”

The younger lady looked away, trying to adjust to everything she was being told. She remained silent as Thia spoke again.

Thia told her about everything that happened after she was accidentally shot and presumed dead. She told her about the chip that completely took control of people’s mind and body. She told her about the city of light and about the battle in Polis.

“They say Klark Kom Skaikru saved everyone”

Lexa showed her a small smile, proudly “That does sound like something Clarke would do”

“You need to rest, Heda” Thia spoke

“Where am I?” She asked

“Eden” Thia smiled at her “You are safe here… at least for now”

Lexa looked at her, already considering the possibilities.

It was obvious for her that Clarke was in possession of the flame. And, if some were actually thankful for her doings in Polis, she was sure some were still against Wanheda. Plus, Clarke had a slight magnet to trouble.

Lexa knew it was a matter of time until people suspected she had the flame.

Either way, Clarke would be in trouble.

“Hod op, Heda!” Thia was next to Lexa in a second as she saw her trying to stand up.

Yet, it wasn’t necessary since the young lady quickly discovered her body wouldn’t allow her to move so quickly.

“Ahhh” she suppressed a painful groan

“You are lucky to be alive, Heda. Please rest. You cannot yet move. Beja”

Lexa stared at her, desperately wanting to go against it.

“Beja…”

Finally lying down, granting Thia’s wish, she whispered “Chof, Thia”

Thia smiled at her “I will be around”

***Away from Eden***

“I’m sorry cutie” Alicia said as she disemboweled the rabbit “You are the first living creature I get in three weeks”

Truth was, she was worried about it.

She was hungry.

She was out of supplies.

She had searched for everything, all around, in the past weeks. It was miles between each small town or village, but everything seemed to be already scavenged, so she was unlucky with that.

She had no other solution other than hunting down some animals. But even with that there was no luck.

That rabbit was the first animal she had found in those weeks.

In fact, she was being honest. It was the first living creature she had found. She almost couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen a human.

“I mean, I know this was my choice, but it would be nice to know if I am or not the last living person on the planet” she kept on talking.

It sounded awkward, but she felt the need to speak out loud, since silence seemed to be a part of her, by then.

“Gosh, you are delicious” she said, after a while, when she got to finally eat.

Alicia made sure to create a perimeter around the place she was in, somewhere in the woods. She was good at it. After all, she had to.

She knew how to make simple traps and noisy traps so she could sense if someone was approaching.

She looked up at the sky, as she used to in the past nights, before casually drifting off to sleep. She had no idea of what she was doing.

She felt like she had no purpose.

Sometimes she wondered if she should return. Yet she still felt she did not belong there, even if she missed them.

However she also knew she was already too far and that they probably moved too. So she had no idea where they were.

Plus, she always listened to Morgan’s stories and wondered if she was any close to the communities he spoke of.

And what if she was? Did she want to join? She couldn’t be so sure.

She was sure she wanted more meals though.

So, once again, she let herself sleep with the uncertainty of what would happen the next day.

Alicia woke up hours later, already feeling the sun rays on her face. There was no time for her to wonder for how long she left herself sleep, since she heard noises nearby.

“Is that…?” She asked herself, already combat ready, as she approached. “…a dog?”

She wondered if she was hallucinating but she did hear barks. Carefully, she made her way to discover an actual dog, stuck in one of her traps and already surrounded by walkers.

Quickly, she moved to take down the walkers around the dog but his continuous barks called the attention of even more.

“Shhh, it’s alright, puppy” she spoke, not stopping.

She sensed the danger increasing.

More and more walkers appeared and it wouldn’t take long for her to be just as trapped as that dog.

“Shit…” she sighed, not giving up.

She couldn’t precise for how long she was there, alone, but after a while she sensed there was someone else close.

“Dog!” Someone shouted

Her eyes caught an arrow through a walker’s head, though she still saw no one. Not for long though.

Then, she saw herself being helped not by one but by at least two men.

Having no idea if she could trust them or not, that was no time to think about it. So, the three of them fought the remaining walkers.

“Daaamn!” She noticed the smile of the tallest man, as she took down a walker near him. “Dat a girl!”

Alicia frowned at him, momentarily distracted by the walker approaching in her back. The man, however, noticed and was about to help before yet another arrow punctured its head.

She observed her surroundings.

_No more dead._ She sighed to herself. _At least for now._

“Come here, good boy” she observed the men.

While the tallest one remained with a smile on his face as he stared at her, the other went for the dog. Both carried a good amount of weapons.

“Are you alone, miss?” the tallest one asked

Alicia stared at him, suspiciously.

“Well… I’m Negan. That ugly face is Daryl” he pointed to his friend.

The young lady raised her eyebrow at Negan. Morgan told her a lot about his days back in some communities and there was a lot she didn’t hold. Yet, she was sure this was the Negan he once told her about. After all, it’s not such a common name. But she also remembered Morgan talking about Daryl and he seemed to like him.

Yes, she was sure they were some of the ones Morgan told her about. She couldn’t be sure if it calmed her down or not, but she decided not to talk much about it and take her own conclusions.

Once Daryl approached them with the dog, Alicia noticed the animal was injured, but alive.

“Your dog certainly fell into this lady’s trap” Negan smirked at Daryl

“_Dog_ is smart, he’s used to traps like this.” Daryl stared at Alicia “You were helping him, though, thanks”

She glanced at him, still alert “I was gonna eat him though”

Negan laughed while Daryl didn’t seem to find her words amusing “You would kill a dog?”

Alicia looked at him “If I was hungry, you bet”

“I like this one” Negan chuckled, approaching her. Alicia didn’t appreciate it and quickly pointed her machine gun barrel at his throat “Woah!” he exclaimed “Miss, slitting my fucking throat won’t work alright, someone else has already tried that shit”

“How about we test that?!” She spoke, irritated “It’s dripping guts… I can see many possible outcomes with a single cut”

Negan showed her a small smile “You proved your courage, miss. I mean you no fucking harm”

Alicia was ready to answer, basing herself on what Morgan once told her. Yet she could bet things had changed. If Daryl was trustworthy and allowed himself to be near Negan, then things had certainly changed.

“Please lower that, kid. We’re not gonna hurt you” Daryl spoke

Her eyes deviated to Daryl before staring at Negan once again. Eventually, she lowered her weapon.

“Good.” Daryl approached her “You alone out here?”

“With those beach ball sized lady nuts… fuck, she can go anywhere she wants” Negan chuckled “Oh…” he stared at her “But you are running out of food, uh?”

Alicia frowned at him. Such a statement would be easy to assume, obviously. They surely knew the area and scavenged everything already. She had been around that place for long enough to conclude they already had taken all that was worth something. She knew it was useless to deny it.

“Actually I got a rabbit yesterday”

“You got lucky” Daryl spoke “Not many animals around to hunt, no more”

Negan stared at her “How long have you been around here, miss?”

“It’s Alicia” She finally said it

“Damn!” he leaned back “She actually has a name”

“Fuck off” she spoke

Negan laughed “Come with us, there's a fan-fucking-tasting community nearby. You don’t have to be all alone, you know”

“Who says I am?” she defied, knowing it would be useless

“Alicia, Alicia…” he chuckled at her “I am too good at this shit... We both know you are, don’t we?”

Daryl approached her before she could react “He has talent to get into people’s nerves. Don’t mind him” he spoke “He’s right though, you don’t have to be alone. Plus, you’ll starve if you stay out here”

Alicia looked at him, almost in defeat.

“You know you will, right? Been out here long enough?” he asked

Alicia took a deep breath, she could not argue.

Both were right.

“C’mon and I’ll cook you some spaghetti!” Negan started to walk back

Alicia frowned “You do not have spaghetti”

He turned, chuckling at her “Wanna bet?”

She sighed, in defeat “I’ll go get my backpack”

“Awesome!” Negan exclaimed, as him and Daryl waited for Alicia to return with them.

Daryl stared at her as she did “What?” she frowned

“Nah, you wouldn’t kill my dog” he spoke

Finally, a small smile emerged in her lips.

_I think this is safe._

***Arkadia***

“You are not going anywhere!” Abby exclaimed “You just got here! We just got here!”

Clarke stared at her mother, then at her friends. She wasn’t expecting them to understand.

But her intent was more than to take the flame away from there. She couldn’t bear the weight in her shoulders. She couldn’t deal with the pain in her heart and soul.

She had to leave.

She needed time and space.

“Clarke…” Bellamy approached her “They have no idea where the flame is. We have time to think about what we can do”

She stared at him “You have that time, I am sure you will do a great…”

“Shhh, you are not leaving, period” Raven argued “Can’t you see, Clark? For god’s sake, they will eventually come and try to destroy everything, whether you have the flame or not”

Clarke stared at her enraged friend “We need you” Raven continued “You are not going anywhere. We are not going anywhere either” she finally showed her a supporting smile.

The painful knot in her throat didn’t allow her to say a word. While she knew it wasn’t wise to leave her people at that point, she wasn’t sure if she could deal with everything.

_Everywhere I go I see her face._


	3. CHAPTER 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alicia tries to adjust to a new community.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At this point the story focus a lot more on Alicia and I am sorry about it, but I need this for the course of the story. There is still too much to come and too many characters to show up.
> 
> I hope you like it!

“Hey”

Clarke recognized Bellamy’s voice, but didn’t turn to him. She felt him approaching her, taking a seat next to her.

She noticed the plate he carried and he quickly handed her the meal “You’ve been here forever, staring at the wall” he said “At least eat that”

It took Clarke a few moments but she accepted the meal.

“You know…” he spoke “I get it”

“No… you don’t” she quickly replied

“Clarke…” he sighed “You think leaving us and go alone out there will make you feel better? Cuz it won’t”

Clarke frowned, staring down at her meal.

“I am sorry for what happened” he whispered “Take your time, you need it… but please do not leave, not again”

The painful knot in her throat was suddenly unbearable at those words. And she didn’t mind to show it.

Not to Bellamy.

“I feel… it’s suffocating, Bell…” The tears streamed down her cheeks.

His arms quickly surrounded her body in a hug “Shhh…” he kissed her forehead

“I keep losing the ones I…” she stopped herself “I cannot lose anyone else”

Bellamy smiled at her “Any of it was your fault, Clarke. I’m sorry you lost Lexa, I know you cared about her…” he said

“I can’t do this, Bellamy”

“I’m just asking you to stay, Clarke” he showed her a smile “Give us a chance?”

“It is not about you guys… It’s…”

“Jesus, look Clarke’s ego showing”

“Shut up…” she sighed

“There will be more fights Clarke. More and more. We need you here with us. This isn’t something you can control. As you never could before. You just do the right thing. And that’s something you tend to know better than anyone else”

Clarke didn’t respond.

Instead, she finished her food.

Bellamy didn’t leave either, he remained next to her, in silence. He decided he wouldn’t insist when all his friend needed was time.

It was only after some moments that Clarke spoke, again “Where is Octavia?”

Bellamy looked at her “I think she preferred to stay with Indra and the other Trikru ones”

“And Azgeda wants to take over while they search for the flame”

He shrugged “It’s the most likely thing to happen. But do you think the flame can make a difference? They have one hell of an army… if they take control of everything. What would be the point?”

“The flame can change loyalties, Bell. They won’t give up the search for it”

“Then you need to be safe”

“They will come either way.” Clarke spoke “There will be a fight either way”

“I know…”

“You have to join Trikru in this fight” Clarke said

Bellamy smiled “See? It’s stronger than you”

Clarke frowned “I was just…”

“Look…” Bellamy stood up “I actually gathered a small group to go and find my sister. Maybe I’ll try to talk to Indra if we succeed.” He said

Clarke observed him as he smiled at her “Take your time, Clarke.” He said “But you better be here when I return”

He then left.

***Away from there***

“C’mon, cuz it’s killing me”

Alicia rolled her eyes at Negan, as he asked her the millionth question.

“If you don’t wanna talk about the sorry shits you were with, you know that’s cool with me. But why are you alone now, shit hit the fan? They did something to you? Or did you fuck up?”

“Do you ever shut up?” she spoke

“Nah” Daryl said “He talks in his sleep”

Negan smirked “You been watching me, that’s my Daryl. You see Alicia…”

“Shut up, we’re here” Daryl interrupted him

Alicia’s eyes were already in the community in front of her. It looked way better than she imagined. It looked definitely safe, with huge and surely secure walls, yet with lines of cars and spikes that kept the dead away, also improving their defenses.

“Awesome, right?” Negan stood next to her, once again

“Looks great…” she whispered, observing as much as she could before taking the next step.

“Sup, Daryl” Someone at the top of the gate said as they got closer. 

Then, the gates immediately opened.

_It’s a perfect place for a stable life. _Alicia thought as she stepped in. She quickly noticed the houses, looking way too clean for those apocalyptic times. They had crops, so they could grow their own food, there was also church and a windmill, lots of constructions she was sure they made and continued to. _Gosh_, t_hey even have solar panels, just imagine what else they might have around. _

That place had to be surreal.

“Pissin’ your pants with excitement, uh?” Negan woke her up from her thoughts, yet she didn’t mind him, she noticed the people starting to approach them as they saw her.

“You brought a new face?”

Alicia observed the intimidating black lady, also heavily armed and with a huge katana in her back. She recognized her immediately.

Oh, Morgan had definitely mentioned her.

_Michonne._

“We met out there, she’s alone” Daryl told her “And she saved _dog_”

“What’s your name?”

Alicia didn’t let Michonne intimidate her as she approached her personal space “Alicia” she firmly said “Yours?”

Her expression was completely stone cold “Michonne” she said “You wanna stay with us here?”

Alicia raised her eyebrow at Michonne, not appreciating her and her friends’ treatment.

“Michonne, she is no threat” Daryl spoke once again

“Maybe not” Michonne said, turning around “Unarmed”

Alicia frowned and quickly two other men approached her “Miss I’m gonna need to take your… OW!”

The young lady was quick to kick one of them to the ground, securing him down with her foot and pointing her machine gun barrel to his head. Almost simultaneously she picked up her gun to point at the other man

“Fuck, young lady!” Negan laughed “You are such a fucking badass! Look at that!”

“What the hell?” Michonne quickly turned to Alicia again, getting her katana ready for a fight.

“Michonne, calm down.” Daryl stood between them “Alicia, put those down. There is no need to fight, c’mon”

“I’m glad to leave if I’m not welcome” Alicia said “You won’t get me here and disarm me” she turned to Daryl.

“Sweetheart, it is protocol” the man underneath her foot spoke. It was only by then she realized he had a metal arm like some improvised prosthesis.

She squeezed her foot harder against his chest “Call me sweetheart again, and I’ll show you _my_ protocol”

“Heheee” Negan approached “This is the kinda thing that…. You see what I mean?” he poked Daryl “Tickles my balls…”

“Another word and I’ll put you back in that cell, Negan” Michonne spoke, approaching Alicia “Miss, we don’t know you. You can’t expect us to let an unknown face into our community heavily armed. Now these are your terms, you want a meal and a comfy bed? Give up the weapons”

Alicia tightened her jaw “I don’t know you either”

“That’s right, you don’t” Michonne said

“Alicia” Daryl said “It’s just for a while, prove you mean to be helpful and you’ll get these back. C’mon”

“Young lady they are saying the truth. No one will harm you and you can retrieve these soon enough and if you wish to leave you shall get them as well.” The man Alicia pointed her gun to spoke, keeping his arms up.

“Well…” Negan stood next to Alicia “This is the fucking result of joining badass ladies and it is pointless.” He said “You mean no harm, she means no fucking harm. Everyone hold your hands we all want fucking peace…” he smirked “Where the fuck is Gabe?”

“Alicia…” Daryl looked at her, desperately wanting her to lower her gun.

She took a deep breath, unsure of the outcome of her next move. Yet, she decided to swing the gun around so the man could hold it.

“Thank you so much, indeed” he spoke as she also released the man on the floor.

“Thanks” Daryl spoke while Michonne had already turned to leave. “You won’t regret this” he then went after Michonne, leaving her with Negan and the two men as everyone else started to disperse as well.

Alicia observed as the man with the metal arm stood up “I’m sorry about that” he said

“Me too” she eventually spoke, handing him the machine gun barrel and her backpack for him to check.

He smiled “I’m Aaron”

“Uh, I’m… Eugene, Eugene Porter” the other man spoke

“Those better be returned to me in one piece” she said

“Nah nah… uh oh…” Negan smirked “Now who will search her for more guns?” he said “I mean, you ladies hide a whole bunch of secret weapons in the craziest places, uh?”

Alicia frowned “Are you crazy?”

“What is going on?”

“Gabe! Hey, we were just deciding who will have the pleasure to inspect this young lady”

He was a priest, Alicia noticed, trying to remember Morgan’s story, but her memory was foggy at the moment.

“Welcome to Alexandria, I’m sorry if this was unpleasant to you. I hope you adjust just fine.” He smiled

“My vote goes to Aaron, worry not he is a serious fella” Negan spoke again and indeed, Aaron approached

“I’m sorry Alicia”

She rolled her eyes, opening her arms so he could make sure she did not carry more weapons.

“We’ll get you somewhere comfy to stay, you can get new clothes if you want and there’s also food in the…” Aaron started to explain but Negan interrupted

“I’ll show her around”

“Alright, I’ll say something once I know where you can stay” he then left with a quiet Eugene.

“Happy?” Alicia turned to Negan

He just chuckled at her “C’mon, you little badass chick”

“You are ridiculous” Alicia followed him

“And you hot as fuck, lemme tell ya, if I was half my age…”

She rolled her eyes, once again “Shut up and show me around then”

***A few days later, at Eden***

“You need to take things slow” Thia approached Lexa as she leaned against the table, holding herself up. “Hod op Heda”

“Stop calling me that” Lexa spoke “I am not commander anymore”

Thia smiled “You will always be Heda, to me” she hurried to help her take a few steps back to the bed.

Lexa was showing a good progress in the past days, though for her it wasn’t enough.

“I need to get to Arkadia…” Lexa spoke

“Beja, Heda…” Thia begged “You need more time and this place is still safe for now.”

Lexa rolled her eyes “I don’t think you understand”

“I understand this should have killed you. But it didn’t.” Thia held her hands tightly “So please do not waste your recovery, do not waste your life”

The younger lady looked at her, once again in defeat.

She was desperate though.

If Clarke had the flame, she was in danger.

She needed to get to Clarke.

***Alexandria***

“You know that’s actually nice”

Alicia was surprised to hear Michonne’s words, as she approached her.

She was thankful for the past days, in that community. She didn’t feel so peaceful in a very long time. Nor so well rested.

She tried to keep herself occupied and since there were not many options for her, she decided to paint some of the big walls, only in areas they allowed her to.

“You got the kids attention, they’re all asking to join you now” Michonne said again “Judith liked you a lot”

Alicia showed her a small smile. She had the chance to spend some time with Judith in the past days “She’s quite something”

Michonne nodded, with a smile, surprising Alicia “I want you to come with me”

Alicia’s hesitance was barely noticeable. She quickly followed Michonne, curiously “Where?” She asked once she caught up with her

“Just for a walk…”

“Alright” Alicia didn’t mind to ask more questions. She was actually glad to leave and to have something else to do. And if that was Michonne’s way to have a conversation with her, it didn’t bother her.

Michonne seemed to be struggling to talk, though. Alicia couldn’t be sure if that was her usual persona or not, nor if she should be the one starting a conversation. She held no hard feelings towards Michonne and she wanted her to know that.

Besides, Morgan trusted Michonne, so Alicia thought it would be best to just be straightforward with her. Yet she also believed she shouldn’t be telling anyone about Morgan, just yet.

“I didn’t mean to cause any trouble when I first got to Alexandria” She ended up saying, walking alongside Michonne

“I’m sorry about that too” Michonne said

Alicia showed her a smile “You were just protecting your people. I would have done the same”

Michonne nodded at her and Alicia was actually glad they cleared that tension between them.

“You are young… But I assume you had to make impossible choices before, then”

Alicia gulped, hesitating to reply.

So, Michonne continued “Is that why you left the people you were with?”

Alicia looked at her, of course it was easy to assume she hadn’t been wandering alone all the time.

“No.” She spoke “I just got… It’s complicated”

Michonne didn’t insist, leaving the space for Alicia to feel comfortable enough to say only what she wanted to share.

“I wouldn’t leave the people I care about because I can’t deal with the consequences of my choices” Alicia spoke “Then I’d be a coward”

“Or you’d just be human” Michonne sadly smiled at her

“Well, we can’t be human these days, then, can we…” Alicia whispered

“It’s a moral compass that’s too hard to balance”

“Yes, definitely.” Alicia sighed “I always tried to do what I think its best. To do what it takes to survive” she spoke “That can’t be reprehensible”

“You lost your family, too?”

The _too_ in her words was obvious and Alicia wouldn’t dare to ask any question “Yes. My mother sacrificed herself to save me and my brother. But then I lost him too.”

“I’m sorry about that” Michonne spoke

“Everyone goes through shit these days…” Alicia said “I’m sure you had your share”

“Your mother was the leader of your group”

It was a statement.

“People looked up to her” Alicia explained “Gosh I hated those survival philosophies… but she meant well. She helped people, she kept us safe… And I try to live up to that everyday”

Michonne smiled “Seems like that moral compass is quite balanced then, right?”

Alicia showed her a smile, but let silence take over for some moments.

“I didn’t leave because of the pressure. I just get tired of people, sometimes.” She explained “It sucks cuz we only have what we have, we should stick together, but people are just… exhausting and controversial. They are either mean or if they aren’t they just overthink every shitty thing and stress over things and how they should act and they could avoid all that if they just spit the truth once and for all!”

Michonne showed her a smile “There you go, see I just needed that.”

Alicia looked away, almost annoyed at herself for reacting like that and vomiting all those words.

“And I think you needed to say it too” Michonne spoke

Alicia took a deep breath. Maybe she did need to say it. To let out all the stress and to share what she never did after she left the others.

She missed them. God she did.

But she didn’t feel at home, anymore. And when she started feeling that, then she knew it was her time to leave.

That letter was the breaking point.

And Alicia had a feeling Michonne understood that, even if her words didn’t clarify the events at all.

“You can’t be somewhere you don’t feel at home” she explained “But now? Where’s your home now?”

Alicia saw those words as a provocation, and she wouldn’t let them slide “What you think I left because I’m a silly girl who got pissed at some meaningless thing? You think leaving them had no impact on me? I did a lot for them and yes, they did a lot for me too. I am thankful for that. But I reached my limit. I needed space and time. And if I regret it? Then I’ll deal with the fucking consequences of my choices as I’ve done my whole fucking life!” She exclaimed “Now you won’t throw me a lection over this. You wanted to know things, I told you, it doesn’t mean…”

Alicia was abruptly interrupted when Michonne grabbed her katana to take down a roamer that approached them. Turning around, she noticed a few more were approaching and quickly grabbed the first thing she found to take them down, as well.

It was a rock.

It almost seemed easy, but after a few moments they were alone again.

“I like you, Alicia” Michonne spoke, eventually, after they took down the walkers “I am not judging. That’s not for me to do. That shouldn’t be for anyone to do” she approached her “I was trying to say… I hope you find a home in Alexandria. I’m sure we need someone like you. And I hope you find the balance in what people are, what they can be and how you also need them, despite everything”

Alicia breathed, momentarily frozen with surprise.

She couldn’t be sure what she wanted, that was for sure. After all, she was just talking about how tired of people she was.

Yet, those words felt incredible and positively overwhelming.

“Come on, let’s go back”

Alicia let her walk for a while, before hurrying after her.

Before giving a proper answer, she let her mind run the marathon, even if she knew was useless.

Besides, she was well aware of the hell she also went through before coming across Negan and Daryl.

“Thank you, Michonne.” She whispered “I think I’ll give it a try”

Michonne nodded at “I’m glad”

***Later, that night***

Alicia was sitting at the stairs outside the place she was sleeping. She didn’t feel tired at all, so she decided to try and relax outside.

“Look at this awesome shit”

She rolled her eyes, obviously knowing who was approaching “I need peace, you’re annoying _as shit_” she copied him

He laughed and when she finally saw him, she immediately noticed he was carrying her weapon and her backpack.

She frowned, but didn’t have a chance to talk. Negan threw her backpack at her and flipped her weapon so she could hold it “C’mon, let’s go”

“Why should I go anywhere with you?” Alicia asked, taking her weapon

Negan smiled at her “Alright” he sighed “I’ll fucking tell you why” he leaned to the grids on the limit of the stairs “You are impulsive as shit, you have this great fucking capacity to make quick survivalist choices, you have these giant invisible and heavy balls that can take you anywhere you want and these last days have been boring the shit outta you. You need to do shit. Doing nothing makes that beautiful brain of yours overheat. So you definitely should come with me before you fry something on the inside, cuz damn… that would be a shame.”

Alicia frowned, she had noticed before that Negan could be very and rightfully intuitive. But this perception was almost scary.

“So?” Negan smiled

Alicia stood up, her mind more than decided “You are still annoying as shit. Where are we going?”

“C’mon, Eugene is waiting for us. We’re going to Hilltop, baby”

Alicia smiled.

She couldn’t care less what they were going to do, over there, but hell, Negan was right, she needed to keep herself occupied and worry less about everything.

***Hilltop***

“Sup, weirdo?”

The young man frowned as he felt a hand slapping on his neck “Ouch” he turned “What the hell, Magna?”

She smirked “Watcha doing?”

He sighed “Just perfecting the blade…”

Magna stared at him “You are too good with swords, yet you barely know how to handle a gun”

“I told you, we do not have guns where I come from”

“Oh, right” She jumped to take a sit on the table

“You still do not believe me”

Magna looked at him “Admit it, it’s kinda ridiculous, uh?”

The young man smiled at her, he knew she was mocking him, even if she has been a good friend.

Yet he honestly did not care if people believed him and his purpose or not.

“Nou trip raun”

“What’s up?” Yumiko approached with a smile as Magna tried to hide a chuckle

“That’s a made up language, Benjen” Magna said

“All languages are made up, Magna”

“Shut up you both and come, there’s a meeting” Yumiko spoke

“Sounds serious” Magna said, standing up only to slap Benjen’s neck again

“Shof op, Magna!”


	4. CHAPTER 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Benjen is the son of Gostos kom Trikru and he is sent on an impossible mission after his father tells him the truth about Lexa's past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> This is a longer chapter and most of it is about an original character, but it is quite important for the course of the story, since he will be the connection between both different worlds
> 
> Hope you can understand it and enjoy it. 
> 
> More action and more of the characters is still to come.
> 
> Please give me feedback, it's super important to me.
> 
> Thank you!

***8 months before***

“Nontu…” the young man stared at his father “What are you telling me?”

The older man looked up at his son, who was now stronger and even taller than him “Leksa was still a baby when she was brought to Polis to be trained equally as the other natblidas. Only few knew about this, now only me and Titus know”

The son leaned against the wall as he listened to his father “There was another child. They were twins. But only Leksa was a natblida.”

“So I must find her sister? We do not even know if she is alive…”

His father took a step closer “Em laik Heda sis. She has the spirit of a warrior as well…” he spoke “Em kik raun”

Hesitating, he looked down “Nou get yu daun, nontu”

His father touched his shoulder, wanting to look him in the eyes “You disapprove, yongon”

The son shocked his head “No, nontu.” He whispered “But her sister will not stop this war”

“No, she will not” His father said “But she is the chance to save Heda”

He stared at his father “You mean to sacrifice her so you can save Leksa…?”

“There was never a commander like her before.” His father slightly elevated his voice “She formed the coalition. Em laik kondeda de, yongon” he tightened his grip on his shoulder “She means peace. She is peace. And we need to keep her alive”

His son nodded, knowing he was right.

He had grown alongside Lexa, after all. She was the most human person he knew, even carrying the suffocating burden of being the commander of the twelve clans. Twelve clans she held together, despite everything. He feared for her life as well and he wanted to help at all cost.

“You fear for the coalition with the skikru” The younger man stated, aware of the recent arrival of the sky people and their attempt to make peace with the commander.

“If the skikru do not get her killed, the other clans will for it.”

He took a deep breath, standing up, as his father continued “I need you to do this, yongon”

The younger man closed his eyes. He looked up to his father his entire life. He admired him for the man he was. His father always tried to act and fight for the best of his family and his people.

He trusted him with his life.

Plus, he understood him. His intentions were honorable.

And he could not let him down

“Have you ever crossed the borders of the farthest of the clans?” He asked

His father shocked his head “They protect the borders well. They talk about those dead reapers out there, they are everywhere and out of control. Nothing like within the borders of our clans”

The younger man nodded, already thinking of the weapons and supplies he would have to prepare for the journey.

“Dig au Heda sis” His father grabbed his face, too look at him

“Gostos,” his father was called by someone on the outside “Gyon op. Kamp raun Heda”

He smiled, holding his father’s arms as he did not let go of his face “Ai hod yu in, nontu”

“Ai hod yu in, Benjen”

***For the next months***

The young man and his horse have been travelling for long weeks, not knowing exactly where to go.

For his entire life he has known too well how to hide his emotions, so he knew only a few would be able to notice his despair in that moment

He could not be sure he was up for this task.

He had passed by some small villages with little population. Some had welcomed him better than others, but he was prepared for it.

He had faced walking dead along the way, too many. They were not the scary reapers everyone mentioned, but they were definitely deadly. Yet, he was also prepared for it.

He needed to hunt and get water if he wanted to survive. But, oh, he was more than prepared for it, too.

What he was not prepared for was to try to find someone he didn’t know in a world that was this big.

In a world he never knew. He lived his entire life within the borders of the twelve clans.

As most of his people did.

So… where should he go?

Which direction?

The more days passed by, the more desperate he grew.

This mission could take him his entire life.

And he could not be sure his father could wait that long.

Worse, he could not be sure Lexa could wait that long.

On the first days he had a plan.

The first step was to scan all possible habitable areas, then sort the ones he would be able to search in a specific time. He knew he would start by the surrounding places near the borders of the clans, then slowly disperse in a logical way so he wouldn’t waste time going back and forward in the same areas.

The next step was to spend a few days near the small villages or communities and make sure to see and get to know all habitants.

After all, he didn’t know who he was looking for. But one thing he was sure, she should look exactly like Leksa kom Trikru.

So that sight would definitely not go unnoticed.

So, the young man did as he planned and did not give up on it. Yet, it only took a while for him to start having second thoughts. After all, he was tracing that path, but there was no way to know if this lady was also a traveler and they would be taking different paths their entire life.

Plus, most of the people in these villages and communities were so much different from him or any other of his people.

They seemed more like the sky people, even though he knew that was an unfair thing to say, because these people had lived on the ground for just as much as him or any other of his people.

“Thank you” he smiled at an older man who offered him some water, in the village he was going through.

He even tried to dig into the conversations of those who allowed him to. He tried to know the details of all sort of stories he was told about all sorts of ladies.

But he did not succeed.

He was sure he would know if they were talking about Lexa’s sister.

He would never be able to explain such statement, but he was sure of it.

“What is your name, son?” The older man asked

“Benjen” The younger one replied

“I hope you find what you are looking for, Benjen” He raised his hat at him, as he walked away in his horse, after not succeeding in yet another village.

It had been more than two months of failure and a good area of the country already scanned, when he came across this group on what looked like an abandoned road.

“Sup?”

The young man stopped the horse, staring at them, hesitatingly.

“You’re here all alone?”

“What do you want?”

“C’mon, join us, man, we have a community nearby”

Benjen looked at them, knowing they were lying. He had studied the place and knew there were no other communities in a 40 mile range. The ones that were closer he knew everything about already.

And those people were not from there.

“I am fine alone. I need to find someone” he said, already alert. He knew he wouldn’t attack them if they didn’t make a move. But he was ready just in case.

After all, he had passed by all kind of people in the past times.

Good and bad.

“Ah, c’mon, where are you going?” The man stepped in front of the horse

“What do you have here, buddy?” Another one approached the horse. “We could help each other…”

The young man observed their fire weapons and a way to fight them without taking one of their shots.

“Touch that and you are a dead man” The young man threatened, already knowing they wouldn’t stop

They laughed, hands near their guns.

“Yu gonplei ste odon” Benjen said, jumping from the horse to fight them.

It was needless to say he knew how to fight.

He was trained his entire life to be the best of warriors.

“What the… ah!” the last one tried to speak before he slit his throat with his sword.

The neighing of his horse didn’t allow him to pay much attention to the dead man. He quickly turned to notice they had shot the animal.

“No…” He walked towards him “Hod op…”

But there was nothing he could do. The horse would never make it and he knew it.

He had to put him out of his misery once and for all. “I’m sorry, my friend”

“Let’s see what you have” he decided to search the dead for things of value, but didn’t find much.

He left all the fire weapons behind.

He didn’t like them.

He didn’t need them.

And then, he carried on with his task.

For the next days he walked and walked until he found yet another community, where he continued on following his plan.

He carried on and on, still unsuccessful.

In his journey, he was captured by one community who misjudged him by a spy.

After all, he asked too many questions and they were having conflicts with other communities.

Benjen realized he had to be careful about it.

He learned he had to know the difference between a bad person and a person who did bad things.

He had a long time to reflect about it, when they locked him up in a cell.

His thoughts fell upon his father the most. He resembled a lot with people he crossed paths with. Most of them doing things they didn’t wish to, just to make sure they survived. Or to make sure they saved the ones they cared about.

His mission was about that.

Benjen ended up having the help of one of the leaders of that own community, once she realized he had been a victim of a war he was not even part of.

She helped him escape the cell, gave him food, water and clothes he could use to mingle within the community just for long enough until he stepped out.

That even gave him the time for a quick scan of the community and its people.

He was sure he would have seen Lexa’s sister if she was there.

More months passed by.

Benjen was in the verge of giving up.

He was sure he had crossed the entire country and found nothing.

“Moba, nontu…” He sighed, at some point. “I failed you.” He breathed “I failed you, Heda.” He tightened his fists, imagining her smiling at him. Her image in his mind was clearer than water. She didn’t do that so frequently, particularly after ascension. But he used to be able to pull a smile out of her, every now and then.

Now, he had no idea how things were, back there.

A long time passed by.

He had no idea if his family was safe. He had no idea how was Lexa, how were things at Polis, how was the tense coalition with the sky people and how was the war with the mountain men.

He knew nothing.

He hoped they were alright.

“Careful!”

Benjen quickly became alert.

He didn’t know where the voices come from, but he immediately tried to find them.

It didn’t take him long, but he hesitated in helping.

He could see a small herd and a group of people fighting it. Yet, that was not a normal herd and Benjen sensed it immediately.

He got his sword ready and approached so he could help. As he got closer he could see that a few of the dead actually tried to attack them.

His eyes widened, but he quickly turned to fight whoever was suddenly following him.

And, if he was shocked before, he became even more once he realized he was fighting a dead one, yet he wasn’t truly dead.

It took him a while to realize he was just a normal person, disguised as the dead.

“Then they say I am odd” Benjen spoke after killing him, then hurrying to help the others.

During his long journey, he had come across some brave people and some actually good fighters. But he couldn’t recall seeing such a good group, despite their trouble at the moment. Besides, he never came across their communities, maybe he missed something? Maybe he missed other places? His doubts started to grow, but at the moment he had little time for that.

“Who the hell are you?” One of them asked him

“Who cares! He’s helping now, we’ll talk later!” Another one said

Benjen smiled, already noticing the few disguised people walking away, leaving only the actual dead ones for them to deal with.

That made things easier.

Of course, once they took every walker out, the group turned to him, once again.

Benjen put his sword into place so they could see he meant them no harm.

“My name is Benjen” he said before he was asked again “I heard the uproar… thought I could help”

“You were just passing by?”

Benjen noticed the black lady with a katana asking.

“Yes, I have been traveling on my own for a long time.” He said.

After all he was used to this.

It was not the first time he came across groups that belonged to communities. Their reaction was always similar and understandable.

“My name’s Carol” the other lady spoke “Thank you for your help”

“I admit I never saw any of these… disguised ones. What do they want?” Benjen asked

“Or maybe you are one of them?” The man near them, with a crossbow, spoke

“Guys…” Yet another lady, with long dark hair approached them “We don’t have time for this. Plus, if he was one of them, he wouldn’t have killed his own people”

“The whisperers are crazy, they could do that…” Some other spoke

Benjen looked at them “Alright, I’ll just… return to my path and make sure I am no trouble to you”

“Wait…” Yet another lady stood next to the one with long black hair “He’s a hell of a fighter, I’m sure you noticed” Benjen smiled to himself, noticing she was whispering to her friends

“We can give it a try, if he wants to stay…” Carol whispered, before turning to him once again

“Are you up for a break in your journey, traveler?”

Benjen smiled, that was his opportunity to scan yet another community “Only temporarily”

The lady with curly hair quickly nodded “Temporarily could be what we need for this bloody war” she said before turning around

Carol approached him, as did the lady with black long hair “You’ll get used to her, she’s Magna”

“I’m Yumiko.” She turned to the others “That’s Michonne, Daryl, Alden, Connie and Luke…” she then started to present everyone

***Present time - Eden***

“How does that feel, Heda?”

Lexa closed her eyes, desperately wanting to feel the positive answer to that question. She wanted it so bad.

At least, she was able to stand and walk around Thia’s small space, with no problems. The pain was not so unbearable. Yet, it was not enough.

She wanted to leave that tent, combat ready, make her way to Arkadia and find Clarke at all costs.

The flame was the least of her priorities.

As was her position as Commander.

Her priority was Clarke and her safety.

She needed to see her with her own eyes.

“_Ai get in chit yu ste fig raun”_ Thia smiled at her “Patience, Heda. I’m sure you will be able to do as you wish, soon enough”

Lexa was tired of the same conversation almost everyday.

She could feel her body was a whole lot weaker. It was not even about the pain. She could feel herself getting tired after only a few steps around that space.

That was the hardest thing to accept.

How was she supposed to wield her swords?

To fight someone?

Lexa felt as if she woke up in a completely different body.

But she wouldn’t let it stay that way.

“What about out there, any news?”

Thia looked at her “Azgeda is still searching for the flame and fighting all those who won’t join them. Most clans are already accepting this kind of coalition”

Lexa frowned “Ai laik kongeda-de.” She said, angrily “That is no coalition. Those are the choices made by the ones who choose life, instead.”

“Are you going to take back your position, Heda?” Thia said “Get the flame again?”

Lexa looked down “Ai nou get in, Thia”

***Hilltop***

“So you killed that bastard” Benjen shrugged at Magna, who glared at Yumiko “He deserved it”

The grounder ended up spending a lot more time at Hilltop than he initially planned.

By the time they first crossed paths, Benjen got to know these people were at war with the Whisperers. As all communities, many were skeptical of receiving him, particularly in such phase. However they knew him and his skills could be helpful to them. Plus, Benjen truly wanted to help them as soon as he got to know them and their ways better.

He could feel they started to feel safer around him and, slowly, he was earning their trust.

They took him to the other communities, such as Oceanside and Alexandria. Oh, he was mesmerized with these people. During the past months he hadn’t seen such communities. Under any other circumstances, if he had to choose a safe place to stay, he would definitely stay there. By then, and temporarily, he preferred to stay at Hilltop and no one opposed to his choice. Not that he didn’t prefer Alexandria. He wasn’t so comfortable in Oceanside for sure, but Alexandria as a dream place to be. However, Benjen knew he could offer more at Hilltop.

He felt homesick, though.

He felt like a complete failure.

He wondered what he should do next. After all, he could carry on with his task to find Lexa’s sister and return to his home, get his commander safe and be with his family again. Or he could still search for that lady and return to Hilltop because that would be better than go back home empty handed. Or he could simply stay there, at Hilltop.

Of course, his sense of duty wouldn’t allow him to stay for much longer. He knew what the right thing to do was. Even if he believed, particularly by then, that he was sent on an impossible mission.

“You would do the same, then” Yumiko asked him, continuing their conversation as they carried some equipment into its place

“Of course” Benjen frowned at her

“That is not how…” Yumiko started but Magna quickly intervened

“Are you seriously gonna bring that up again?”

“No, and I was not the one bringing that up” Yumiko stopped to stare at her

“Alright… so, you see, I found someone who actually doesn’t judge some kind of decisions” Magna said

Benjen stared at both “Don’t you start fighting again. I am just saying… and it is not a judgement. It is actually how I grew up. Jus drein jus daun” he spoke

Yumiko quickly took the chance to change the topic of conversation “Seriously though, that is too good and spontaneous” She dropped the empty boxes next to the rig, after they finished unloading it.

Magna rolled her eyes “Don’t tell me you actually believe this _traveling across the country to find_ someone story” she spoke

“What did you say, after all?” Yumiko asked

“Blood must have blood” Benjen spoke, gathering up all the empty boxes to put in their proper place. “I’ll be right back”

Magna stared at him as he walked away, while Yumiko got closer to her “Hey… I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bring that up all over again”

She turned to stare at her, showing her a small smile “It’s all good. I know. We already closed that door, right?”

“Right…”

“Plus, he was the one asking me for my story”

Yumiko nodded “I know it sounds crazy, but there is something about him that just seems… honest, you know”

Magna nodded “Yes, but it is ridiculous all at the same time.” She mentioned “Plus, he’s always saying he might live soon. It would be better if he stayed, right? He proved his worth and… well, he’s nice”

Yumiko smirked “Should I be jealous?”

Magna showed her a death glare, not responding. Yet, Benjen was already approaching them, again, with three apples “So, anything else I should do?” he asked, throwing one at Magna and Yumiko, respectively.

“How do you say friend in that made up language?” Magna asked

“Lukot.” Benjen said, smiling at her, he knew she was up to something.

He had grown closer to her. He couldn’t explain why but he sensed an inner warrior in her that made him remind of his people. He liked that about her and, when she and Yumiko actually allowed him to stay and spend more time with them, he didn’t feel as lonely as in the last months and he actually felt comfortable enough with them to share his story. Even if they didn’t believe him.

“Do not look at me like that Magna” he smiled “I told you my story and asked you about yours. It is not my fault you don’t believe mine. And it seems like it’s taking you long to believe me, since I told you long ago”

Yumiko giggled “It's funny cuz he’s super coherent, Magna. If he was lying there would be lose ends”

Magna frowned “So, lemme get this straight. You were trained to be a fighter…” she shrugged “You can definitely fight but no one says…”

_“OPEN THE GATES!”_

The three interrupted their conversation so they could receive the group from Alexandria they knew was coming. They were expecting, at least, Eugene to help them with some adjustments on a building structure.

“Oh hello, you badass motherfuckers!”

“Here comes the annoying asshole.” Magna rolled her eyes

Benjen, however, was suddenly frozen in his spot. His eyes immediately caught the young lady that was coming with the Alexandrians.

He couldn’t believe his eyes.

He had been to Alexandria and he knew she was not there.

It was _her_.

She jumped down from the improvised vehicle and observed everything around her.

She carried a backpack and at least a gun in a holster around her thigh, possibly carrying some knives or other sort of small weapons, he was sure. There was a sharp bigger weapon that looked part of a fire gun, to him, also tied up to her waist.

She was wearing boots, jeans and a black tank top underneath a leather jacket.

She was beautiful.

And she looked exactly like Lexa.

_This is her._

“Who’s the new girl?” Yumiko smiled, leaving Magna and a still shocked Benjen behind

His apple was on the floor already, totally forgotten.

His eyes fixed on her.

“Hey… lukot?” Magna stared at him

“Ai… ai haiheda” He breathed

He found her.

Well, she found him, instead.


	5. CHAPTER 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Benjen's plan to find Alicia might or might not have been the best, but it did work, eventually.  
However, he never really made a plan for this moment.  
He is struggling to talk to Alicia, for reasons that didn't make so much sence in his mind.  
How would he handle the situation?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> This is quite a longer chapter and I hope it you don't find it boring, since I tried to keep a lot of action. 
> 
> I apologise this chapter is mainly focused on Hilltop, but there is still more to come.
> 
> I apologise for some grammar or english mistakes in general.
> 
> Please give me feedback, it is really important to me! 
> 
> Thank you :)

***Hilltop***

Alicia was, once again, mesmerized as she stepped into this other community. She had to admit these people were one of a kind. They always found a way to remain united despite their problems.

She knew she was right even if she only shared the last few days in Alexandria.

Both communities knew each other too well, she learned. Of course, Negan being Negan, told her about Hilltop and yet another community: Oceanside. Alicia guessed he was trying to earn her trust and trying to keep her around. He was not dumb to just share everything about them to someone he didn’t know, so he knew, for some reason, it was safe to give her all that information.

Of course, as soon as she stepped in, she noticed the many eyes on her. She didn’t blame them, obviously, but she could not say it was comfortable either.

“Who’s the new girl?”

Alicia observed the lady with long black hair approaching her, with a smile. She guessed it was Yumiko, based on what Negan told her.

“I’m…” Negan quickly intervened

“This lil badass is Alicia” he smirked

“I can talk, you know” Alicia frowned

“He knows,” Yumiko smiled, “He just likes to talk more”

He shrugged, leaning back “Can’t fucking ague”

“Shall we get to work?” Eugene quickly intervened, on the other side

“Yes” Yumiko said, turning to Alicia again “Welcome, if they brought you here then I take it you’re trustworthy so… make yourself at home”

Alicia smiled at her “Thanks”

“So, I’ll show you ar-…”

“Negan I need your assistance” Eugene spoke as he walked, noticing Negan wanted to stay behind with Alicia

“Oh you are fucking kidding me. Out of all mother fuckers…”

“You, Negan.”

He frowned, noticing Connie approaching him and Alicia “Fine”

Alicia noticed the lady was writing something in a small notebook, as she approached - **I can show you around **– she read, before staring at her again.

“This is Connie” Negan spoke “I’m sure you noticed the language trouble and all this adjusted communication shit, but you can fucking handle that right? She’s nice”

“Just go, Negan, I’ll be fine” she spoke, before turning to Connie, surprising her with sign language – **Nice to meet you** – she tried her best, after all, it had been so many years. 

Connie showed her a wide smile, in surprise, quickly responding, hoping Alicia would understand everything

“Oh no…” Alicia smiled “I only know… a little”

Connie nodded, then asking her name.

“Oh” Alicia quickly responded. That she knew how to say.

Connie nodded, then signaling her to follow – **I’ll show you around and introduce you to people **– she wrote down

Alicia nodded “Alright… thanks”

By the end of the day, while some people retreated to their places, many still stayed outside, if not for more, just to hang out.

Benjen tried to take the most isolated spot. He actually wished to go inside, but he wanted to watch Alicia for a little longer.

_Alicia. _

He quickly discovered her name.

All he ever did in the past months was to plan how he would find her. But he never really thought about the next phase.

How was he going to approach her?

He felt nervous just to be in the same space as her.

And he hated to be nervous.

He hated that tingly feeling.

He could feel the sweat drops in his body and he cursed himself for it.

“It is not polite to drool in front of a lady, you know?” Magna sat next to him, handing him a drink he gladly took

“Shof op” he quickly said

“She’s the one you’ve been looking for, isn’t she?” 

Benjen remained quiet, his eyes locked in Alicia.

It was obvious, uh?

He was glad only Magna and Yumiko knew most of the story.

“So… you’re not going to talk to her?”

Benjen was tapping his foot on the floor. Of course he had to talk to her. He had wasted a lot of time already. The more he waited to get it done, now he found her, the more danger it meant for Lexa.

“What is all this tension, guys… cheer up” Yumiko approached them

“Benjen found the long lost lady” Magna took a sip of her drink

Yumiko’s eyes widened, quickly solving the mystery. She sat next to Magna and leaned to him “Alicia? For real?”

The young man still couldn’t form a word.

“Chill, lukot…” Magna spoke “If you carry on with that she’s gonna think you’re a stalker or some kind of perv”

Yumiko frowned “Lemme get this straight, she doesn’t know who you are?”

“Shhh” Magna took her hand “He doesn’t know who she is, either.”

Yumiko stood there, confused, and Benjen was glad some others approached so he had a cue to leave.

“Hey…” Yumiko grabbed his arm as she noticed him leaving “You just go and talk to her, it won’t be that bad, uh?” she whispered “It’ll be just fine, just look at you, good looking and all…” she smiled

Magna smirked quickly behind her “You want some tips?”

“Shof op, gadas”

“Hey, is everything alright there?” Luke asked out loud

“Yes, Luke” Yumiko quickly turned to them, as Benjen left.

***A few days later – Arkadia***

“Ah! This is the breath of fresh air I just needed!”

Clarke showed Raven a smile as she approached “Shut up, Raven”

“What?”

“How are you?”

Raven shrugged “All good, given the circumstances, you know” she smiled “How do you feel?”

Clarke nodded “Good… what are you up to?”

“Oh, just… tinkering”

“Any news on Bellamy?”

Raven shocked her head “I mean, he’s fine, just hasn’t succeeded with O, yet”

Clarke nodded “What about everything else?”

Raven smiled “I missed you, girl”

Clarke smiled “I’m sorry”

“No, no… nothing to be sorry about” she held her arms “C’mon, lemme show you something cool I’ve been…” Raven was interrupted by Kane, who entered the room

“Clarke!” he was surprised to see her “I’m glad to see you… out here”

The young lady nodded at him

“You think you are ready for some occupation?” he asked

She stared at him “You have something for me?”

“I like your insight… so, yeah, I could use a hand”

Raven smiled “Clarke is back, bitches!”

“Shut up…” she sadly smiled “I’ll come back later”

“Sure, you go”

Clarke followed Kane, who seemed eager to ask her more questions, but decided to remain quiet and keep only a small chitchat.

“Your mother is busy but will also join us, we will all meet to discuss a few important things” he said

“Alright…”

“She has been stressed too”

Clarke nodded “I’ll...uh… I know…”

“Hey” he regretted his words “Not because of you, I mean… not only, I’m sure she’ll be happy to see you here. She has tried to get you out of that room for so long, after all”

Clarke showed him a small smile, nodding at him

“Just don’t feel obligated to be here, in this meeting… you know. It’s ok if you…”

“I’m fine, Kane. Seriously”

Kane gulped, nodding at her “Just know I’m here to help in whatever I can”

She smiled “Thank you, Kane. I know”

“C’mon, then” he opened the door for them

Clarke noticed the group was already gathered around the table, waiting for Kane and her mother to start.

They seemed surprised to see her, but welcomed her without hesitation.

“Good to see you Clark”

She nodded at them, as they discussed “Where’s Abby? Shall we start?”

“I’m right her-Clarke” Abby quickly stormed inside the room, surprised to see her daughter but quickly smiling at her, actually glad she was there.

Clarke showed her a smile, knowing words would stay for later.

“So, we can start now” Abby took her seat.

Clarke took a seat a little distant from the table, opting to intervene as less as she could. She listened as Kane explained he had sent a few teams around the areas of other clans, wanting to know what to expect, since they all knew the Ice Nation was forming coalition with other clans, eliminating all those who refused the alliance.

She listened as the group shared the information they got, but it all seemed useless to her.

They should be concerned with their own protection. They should be planning that.

Because they all knew Ice Nation was going to attack Arkadia, sooner or later.

_Particularly when they figure out I have the flame. _She thought.

“Do you want to share your thoughts, Clarke?”

She was called back to reality, after a while, when she was already divagating.

Her hesitation made Abby intervene “Alright, we need to establish the next…”

“It’s ok…” Clarke took a deep breath “You have to form coalitions as well”

They all looked at her, intensely “I mean, are you gonna just sit here and watch them made their moves? If they are growing and you know they are coming, well… We grow too.”

“Bellamy is already…”

“Trikru alone is not enough… particularly now” Clarke spoke

“This kind of move will lead to more fights, Clarke” Abby turned to her daughter

“Many hate the Ice Nation, mother. They may not be fond of us, but they definitely don’t want Ice Nation in charge”

Abby looked at her, hesitating, but giving her a smile, eventually.

Kane also nodded at both mother and daughter. “I think I can plan a little something”

***Hilltop***

The days after Alicia first got to Hilltop, she decided to join Negan and Eugene and help them with the building structure. She wouldn’t be able to just wander around and do nothing, anyway.

She actually felt more comfortable than back in Alexandria, and it was understandable. No one knew her, back then. She had just showed up and no one trusted her or knew her intentions. At Hilltop, things were different. She wouldn’t mention Negan, for sure, but she knew people at Hilltop trusted Eugene and the other Alexandrians, so they didn’t question them when they brought her along.

They simply welcomed her.

That was nice.

“Miss, I admit you are a wonderful assistant, quite better than the one who was assigned to come here with me in the first place”

Alicia laughed at Eugene and quickly heard Negan cursing, near them “What the fuck you saying, Dr. Smartyfuckingpants…”

Eugene seemed to ignore him “Today there is something else we need to worry about, though.”

“What’s happening?”

“Weather”

Alicia raised an eyebrow at him “Weather, Eugene…”

“There is a storm coming. By the looks of it, it will be a heck of a storm, we need to make sure the walls are reinforced and move everything that could be armful from the outside. The wind is going to attack us on full force” He said “I already gave instructions about it”

Alicia stared at Negan, then outside, to the dark clouded sky. She wouldn’t dare to mistrust Eugene.

“You think this structure will hold?” She asked him

“Let’s hope so. We have to reinforce it too”

“Let’s fucking work, then!” Negan spoke “Shall we split up?”

Eugene nodded “Yes, maybe you, Alicia, could help moving the essentials from the outside while Negan joins me and Benjen doing the best we can to keep this thing up”

“Oh, so I’m joining the fucker who keeps eyefucking this young lady, uh? Goood” Negan smirked

Alicia looked at Negan, but decided to ignore him and leave. She knew who he was talking about, obviously.

It was impossible for Benjen to go unnoticed.

He was the tall and intimidating yet terribly good looking young man she noticed straight away, when she got to Hilltop.

His unusual outfit also called her attention. Despite already knowing a few people from an old and gone community called the kingdom, who used to wear these fittings and some kind of armor protection, she knew Benjen was different.

Benjen wore dark pants with several belts around one of his thighs and waist, with props to hold his weapons and probably other useful items. Then we wore an equally dark shirt, with one sleeve sort of sewed until just above his elbow while the other sleeve seemed ripped out, revealing quite an attractive bicep. Also above the shirt, he wore a kind of ripped vest connected with more belts an straps, holding tightly around his chest. There was also a red rag, almost like a bandage, around his right hand and slightly up his forearm, with a thin leather forearm and fist protection above it. Then, there was this equally red scarf, knotted around one of the belts, falling down from his waist, and a huge sword hanging in his back.

His hair was dark, as well, with short shaved sides, while the rest was slicked back, mixed with a small braid. He had a short well defined beard that matched his hair color. There was also a tattoo on the back of his neck and another up his covered arm. At least, those were the ones visible.

Yes, his presence was intimidating.

Yet that was not what bothered Alicia.

What bothered Alicia the most was the fact Negan was right.

On the first day, when Connie took Alicia with her and introduced her to literally everyone, she noticed he avoided her.

Yet, she could sense him always in her field of vision. Literally, _always_.

So, despite not having formally met him, she felt him constantly watching her and felt immensely uncomfortable with it, she could not deny it.

She tried to ignore it, Benjen never did anything, after all. Mainly, she tried to ignore Negan, who was constantly mentioning it to her, asking her to be careful and reinforcing the fact he never knew Benjen too well.

Alicia showed herself relaxed, but she was a bit scared, indeed. Despite all the past with Negan, she already knew he was quite a good judge of character, and the fact he didn’t trust Benjen because he had no formed opinion on him made her nervous.

Her mind was running the marathon and she lost the notion of the time. She started following Eugene’s previous instructions while too distracted with her own thoughts.

She couldn’t be sure how long it passed by, when Connie approached her, calling her back to reality once she got her hands on her shoulders.

“Oh… hi Connie” She turned

She pointed her thumb up, with a worried expression.

Alicia stared at her, sort of mad at herself for letting her stress show. She was definitely better than that.

“I’m fine, yeah. There is still a lot to do, though” She tried to move but Connie did not allow her

“Connie…”

Alicia rolled her eyes at Connie’s persistence “I am fine, really”

Connie then picked up her notebook - **Then, we continue together**

Alicia stared at her, confused. So, Connie wrote again – **You’re trying to do this work all alone.**

“No, I’m not, Connie, everyone is…” Alicia hesitated once she noticed Connie holding her hands on her waist “Ugh, fine!”

Connie showed her a smile, nodding at her.

Later that day, when it was getting darker, everyone was gathering around the main mansion. It was safer so they would all join there before the storm hit them.

Benjen was observing everyone, from a distance. He knew the next hours would be probably the better chance to finally talk to Alicia.

_Chil au, Benjen._ He said to himself. He had to admit he was exhausted, that day. For him, having Negan around, all day, was officially worse than babysitting. It was even worse because he would not stop mentioning Alicia.

Benjen didn’t know Negan too well. He had heard his story but he believed in his redemption.

After all, he had grown up with Lexa kom Trikru, the most compassionate human being he ever met. He had seen her do the most unexpected things, mainly after ascension. And she never disappointed him. He had watched her welcoming the Ice Nation into the coalition after their Queen killed Costia, so they could all have peace.

And, for some reason, it felt similar with Negan. The bigger difference was that Negan seemed to be way more reasonable and less intimidating than the Ice Queen.

So, in Benjen’s point of view, after Negan first met Alicia and brought her to Alexandria, there was probably something in him that felt the need to protect her and, for some reason, he was seeing him as a threat.

His thoughts quickly vanished, though, when Alicia’s figure appeared. She was talking to Connie and Luke and would probably go inside the mansion soon. He remained in his spot, simply observing. However, when Benjen noticed everyone starting to go inside, Luke and Connie included, but Alicia walking away, he quickly became full alert.

Where was she going?

The storm was almost upon them, the wind was already too strong. She was not supposed to leave. Alone.

Yet, before he could move, he heard the sound of a gun unlocking, behind him “You better hold that post puberty nutsack and not be having some fucking plans, buddy. This is a fucking warning”

Benjen turned to see Negan with a pistol pointed to him.

Showing him no sign of fear, he remained quiet “You know nothing, Negan”

“You know, kid, I’ve been trying to avoid fucking playing my balls are bigger than yours with you. But this kinda shit, now? Nah, nah-nah… what the fuck is on that braided fucking mind, big guy, going after her now she’s…. ow-fuck!”

Benjen was surprised to see Magna attacking Negan, pushing him to the ground, kicking his gun away and pointing her falchion at his head.

“Touch him. Ever.” She spoke “I dare you”

Quickly, Alicia’s voice surprised all of them, as well “Touch him. I dare you”

Magna turned to see Alicia with a gun pointed at her, too. Their eyes locked in an intense stare that seemed to be able to explode at any second.

“What the hell is going on?!” Yumiko approached

“Everyone just, please, enter the mansion” Eugene quickly followed her.

Alicia put her gun down once Negan stood up, but kept her eyes on Magna the whole time.

“Magna, c’mon, let’s go” Yumiko said

When neither of them moved, Benjen felt obligated to speak.

“Magna, go inside” Benjen he said next to Negan, while Yumiko failed to drag her away

“Alright, c’mon, Alicia…” Negan said and, once he took a step forward to them, Magna quickly punched him in the face.

“Ouch!”

Of course, immediately, Alicia reacted and launched herself at Magna, pushing her to the floor but failing to do more, because Benjen quickly separated them. He picked Alicia up with a single arm once she didn’t seem to stop.

“Put me down, now!” she yelled at him

And Benjen did as commanded. He put her down, making sure to keep her in that spot and away from Magna. However, he completely froze once his eyes met hers.

Exactly the same as Lexa.

He already knew that, of course, but watching her as close as he was, then, petrified him.

“What the hell do you want from me?!” Alicia yelled at him

Benjen stared at her, still frozen.

He never meant for her to think he was a threat. He guessed Magna was right about Alicia thinking he was a stalker.

“ENOUGH!” Yumiko yelled

“You get away from her” Negan quickly approached Alicia, still rubbing his jaw.

Alicia’s eyes met Magna’s once again, who already had Luke, Connie and Kelly around her, trying to drag her to the mansion.

“Benjen,” Yumiko spoke, touching his shoulder “Go and help them take Magna inside”

It took Benjen a second to react, since he was still mesmerized with Alicia. And when he moved, once again, he wasn’t able to say a word.

“I want everyone in good terms, in that mansion, can you do that?” Yumiko turned to both Negan and Alicia.

Alicia stared at her, still pissed, but didn’t reply.

So, Yumiko continued “He means you no harm. That I can assure you”

“I know what he fucking means, lady” Negan spoke

“You’re wrong.” Yumiko turned to him “I’ll have to take your weapons if you don’t promise to go in there in peace”

“I’m in peace if she’s in peace” Alicia said

“She is” Yumiko assured

A loud thunder made them jump.

Quickly, thick drops of rain followed.

“Alright, let’s go inside, guys”

** *Hours later***

Everyone was within the mansion as the storm didn’t seem to give any truce. The loud thunders and noisy wind were scary enough, but the rain didn’t seem to stop either.

People spread within the mansion’s divisions, as they waited.

There was nothing else they could do.

Benjen, who had been isolated all the time, finally moved to sit next to Magna, who seemed to be having a fight with Yumiko. _Again_.

“That was childish, Magna, what the hell were you thinking?!”

“He was pointing a gun at Benjen. And I don’t trust him.”

“Magna, we both know Benjen could end Negan in a second, if he wanted to” Yumiko replied

“But he wouldn’t, though” Magna shocked her head “You don’t see it, do you?”

“Beja, gadas…” He decided to step in “You need to stop fighting because of me, you know…”

Yumiko turned to him “You could have avoided this, Benjen.”

The young man stared at her. Yumiko seemed quite angry at him “You know Alicia is right, don’t you? She’s been here for days and instead of just go and talk to her you avoid her but keep watching her? Following her around?” Benjen remained silent as she continued “Look at you, the big mighty warrior… is a coward after all”

Benjen gulped.

Those words felt worse than a strike on the heart.

And yet, she was right.

Once Yumiko left, he turned to Magna who, for his surprise, showed him a soft smile. “She didn’t mean that and you know it” she held his hand and pushed him for a hug “You’re the best”

“I’m sorry” he whispered “You didn’t have to stand up for me…”

“Shhh” she whispered back “I’d do it all over again”

On yet another division, Alicia was sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall, as she watched Negan cursing, still rubbing his sore jaw

“You know you deserved that” she spoke

Negan frowned, turning to her “Excuse the shit outta my goddamn French, my lady? What the fuck did you say?”

“What was all that for, anyway? I don’t need your protection. I’m not even sure I need protection at all”

“Lady he watched you walk back all alone, he was going for you, fucking trust me”

“Negan he has had plenty of chances to get me alone, if that’s what you think he wants. And he didn’t”

“I don’t fucking like it, ok? And you also know this is all creepy as shit so stop with that fucking _I don’t need your protection _speech” He said “You got my fucking back too, why was that?”

Alicia frowned at him “It is not a speech. It is a statement.”

“I’ve seen the fucking picture… pretty girl, strong minded, knows how to kill off some goddamn walkers, gets pissed at something and thinks she can go all alone around this world. Let me fucking break the news to you, miss, you can’t. People are a fucking resource and you cannot fucking run away from that. You do need protection. We all fucking do!” he snapped

The younger lady stared at him, momentarily perplexed. He was right and of course she knew it. She couldn’t argue he would think that, about her, given the fact he knew she had been wandering alone when he first met her. She had to admit she forgot the veracity of his words, every once in a while. Yet, Alicia knew that. She had learned that a long time ago. Her mother taught her that, above everyone else.

She was probably too mad at everyone to admit it though.

But these last days, with all these people and these new communities, made her live that reality all over again.

This small mysterious problem called Benjen was surely something that could be easily solved and both she and Negan were probably overreacting.

She couldn’t be sure why, but she trusted Yumiko’s words.

Before she could say something to Negan, there was this loud smashing sound that immediately put everyone alert.

“That didn’t sound good” She whispered

“Something crashed” Negan quickly affirmed, as well, as both moved to see what was going on.

“I am afraid it might not hold” Alicia could already hear Eugene’s voice.

“What’s the plan, then, Eugene?” Yumiko spoke

Negan and Alicia quickly approached them, followed by many others willing to help. Alicia noticed Benjen next to Magna, staring at her once again.

“I need some minutes, lighten up the pressure on me, if you please” Eugene spoke

“We could get some wooden beams from the walls and hold the new structure” Alicia spoke

“Probably… that would weaken the walls, obviously… But…” Eugene was interrupted by both Negan and Magna, surprisingly.

“We’re here to guard the gates”

“We’ll secure the gates if shit hits the fan”

Yumiko stared at them, but before they could make a decision, Benjen moved.

“Where are you going?!” Eugene asked

“To hold the structure” he calmly said, hurrying to leave the mansion.

Magna and Alicia quickly ran after him, to help as well

“Alicia, what the fuck!”

She heard Negan calling for her, but didn’t care. Once she stepped outside, she immediately got drenched. The rain was falling hard and the strong wind didn’t help at all. Her eyes quickly found a running Magna and, away from there, Benjen dragging a wooden beam already.

She wondered how much one of those could weight. After all, they were quite large, long and thick, usually used to hold heavy weights.

Yet, she quickly cleared her mind and moved to help. She went after Magna and both tried to drop another beam, distant from the previous one so they could try and keep the walls intact.

“Think we can drag this one?” Magna asked, once Alicia helped her drop one of them to the floor

“You gotta strong fist so… this should be easy peasy…”

Alicia could have sworn she saw a smile on Magna’s lips, yet she quickly moved to drag the beam. Alicia sighed and helped her.

Things would get better, she hoped.

At least, to lighten up that tension would be a great start.

A group of people quickly approached to help with the beams as well, however, there was a second crash that scared most away.

“Shit” Magna cursed.

Alicia turned to see one of the walls had fallen and, of course, walkers already approaching.

Yumiko yelled from around their spot “Everyone who’s capable of fighting, help!”

Magna quickly ran there but Alicia hesitated. She turned around to see Benjen and Eugene together, trying to place the beams in the better spots.

“They are too many!” Someone yelled.

Alicia decided the wall was the priority. After all, she just had to make sure no walker walked past them.

Things seemed to be easy but, eventually, yet another part of the wall fell. “Shit” Alicia ran to Yumiko “We need to split up and some need to get those walls back up. They won’t stop coming if we don’t get the walls back up again!”

“I know.” Yumiko took a deep breath, observing her surroundings. Alicia followed her eyes, she was watching as Magna and Negan marched towards the other fallen gate “Hey!” Alicia made Yumiko look at her “She’s fine. They both are.”

Yumiko took a deep breath, nodding at her “Get people to help putting the walls up. Get Eugene! I’ll keep the walkers away.” She said, already watching Connie and Kelly fighting as well, while Luke walked the other way to Magna and Negan.

“Alright. Let’s do this” Yumiko quickly moved and so did Alicia.

The next moments were more exhaustive than she hoped, while fighting walkers. The wind and the rain didn’t help at all. The vision wasn’t the best because of the weather, plus, she felt slower and with lesser strength while the walkers seemed to able to attack equally.

“There are many on the other side!” someone yelled.

“GO!” Alicia yelled at Kelly and Connie to go and help “I got this!”

And she did, but only for a few moments.

Eventually, she saw herself surrounded by the dead and wasn’t sure how she would make it.

She made her move on the first ones but after a few she fell to the floor as she tried to avoid bites.

“Shit!” she cursed, using all her strength to keep them away.

Alicia sighed in relief when she felt help approaching, she didn’t know for how much longer she could hold them back.

She felt a bunch of them being dragged away from her, at once. Once she noticed it was Benjen, she was stunned.

Damn, he could really fight. That entire figure was definitely not to show off.

He was so fast and effective that he seemed to take care of the large group of walkers while she was still in the floor handling the only one who fell on top of her.

“Push, guys!”

She was aware Yumiko and Eugene were already working on the walls, but she was still mesmerized with Benjen, who approached her to get rid of the walker on top of her.

“Oh” she sighed once she was released. She stared at Benjen who offered her his hand, so she could stand up “Why didn’t you show up sooner?”

He showed her a smile “You have the blood of a warrior. You would make it”

She stared at him, confused yet positively overwhelmed.

That time, she was the one out of words.

Yet, that was no time for conversations. She quickly felt Benjen running to the structure, once again.

She noticed the walkers were able to get in, from the other side. Plus, the strong wind was crushing yet another part of the structure, which Benjen was already trying to hold.

She watched him trying to hold the beam in its place as a strong wind wave hit them.

“Wow!” she fell to the floor once she noticed a metal object flying in her direction.

It seemed to be getting more and more dangerous.

“We need to go inside the mansion and leave this, guys!”

“Hell no!” She could hear Magna “We can handle it”

Alicia, still on the floor, tried to observe them, but it was hard, given the circumstances. She could see others on the floor too, but couldn’t be sure if they were hit by something or if were simply trying to protect themselves.

Her eyes turned to Benjen, once again, who desperately tried to keep the beam in its place and everything it was trying to hold.

“Shit” she cursed when she noticed he had walkers near him.

Trying her best to stand up, she carefully and instinctively observed her surroundings for other walkers or flying objects. It took her a while to get there, she could see Benjen already kicking them away, not leaving his arms off the beam, but when she finally reached Benjen, she quickly ended them, clearing the space around him

He nodded at her, thankful. She smiled “Maybe I can help with that too”

He shocked his head “There is another beam. It’s loose and I think it might be more useful on the walls now”

Just as he spoke a metal board hit both of them “Ah!” Alicia hissed, quickly trying to help Benjen who refused to fall on the floor and leave the beam.

The metal had cut his arm and he didn’t seem to move, which scared her “You ok?”

He nodded “Go. The wall”

Taking a deep breath, she nodded “Alright”

She moved to find the beam, killing a couple of walkers along the way. Once she had the beam, she did try, but with such a strong wind opposing her direction, she wasn’t able to.

“Shit!” she fell to the floor, after leaving the beam to take care of yet another walker.

“I gotcha, miss” Negan was suddenly next to her, offering her his hand, which she accepted “Shall we push this motherfucking beam and get the fucking wall back up?”

She smiled at him, nodding.

“I’m sorry” she spoke, as they approached the gates with the beam “You are right… people are a resource” she said, noticing the others were handling the walkers

Negan smiled, looking down at her “I know you know that, miss” he pulled his arm around her and kissed her forehead “You are too fucking clever… people just need a fucking reminder every once in a while.” He shrugged “I needed a fucking huge one”

She gulped, nodding at him “Thanks”

He smirked “Now, let’s fucking end this”

And they did.

Alicia couldn’t be sure for how long they were out there. It must have been some hours since it was dawn already.

Once they were able to pull the walls back up, only provisionally, they still moved to help Benjen who was still at the new structure, alone.

“The kid is fucking bleeding” Negan stated

“We need to move one of the other beams here, since the wind seems to tend to this side the most” Eugene spoke “We shall work on repairing the damage later on, when we can. Right now we need to do so and get some rest. Benjen needs medical attendance”

Alicia noticed both Magna and Yumiko near Benjen as the others moved the beam next to him, as Eugene instructed.

Benjen sighed once he was able to let go of the beam “Thank you” he breathed

“Shall we go inside now? Dry ourselves, eat and rest.” Yumiko spoke “C’mon, everyone”

“You ok?” Magna asked Benjen, who nodded at her, holding his left arm

“Just forced too much. Tomorrow it will be fine”

“You probably got some muscle sprained. You are also bleeding, so you better get some rest”

“I’m fine” he spoke, again.

Everyone was more than happy to have a few hours of rest, with no further intercurrences.

Everyone who needed assistance, got it.

Everyone was helpful and calm during all those hours.

It still took a while for the storm to calm, but eventually, it did.

Even being already nightfall, everyone started to leave the mansion and returning to their daily attendances, but most of them started to handle the damage of the storm and clean everything.

“Hey…”

Benjen opened his eyes once he heard Magna’s voice “You can leave here and get to a proper bed”

He sighed, moving to a sitting position, feeling like ripping off the bandage around his arm. The pain and soreness in his body was more than the insignificant cut in his arms.

“I’m hungry”

She smiled “No wonder… a big guy such as you needs a proper feeding”

“Are you ok?” He asked her

Magna stared at him, nodding.

“You solved things with Yumiko?”

“Benjen… do not go there, ok?”

He shrugged “Trying to be helpful.”

“Be helpful by being who you usually are… silent”

“That is not nice”

“You are not nice”

“Shof op”

“You shof op, lukot” Magna spoke 

Benjen smiled, standing up “Have you eaten?”

“No, let’s go eat, then you go rest again”

“I’ve rested enough”

Magna sighed, but said no other word on the matter.

Once they were outside and getting some food, she noticed he was observing Alicia, yet again. “You finally talked to her, uh?”

Benjen nodded “Not much though” he took a seat “She is a good fighter. A true survivor”

“You have to be that or you die, Benjen. There’s nothing special about it”

“There is, in her, though” Benjen spoke “Resembles her sister, in that”

“You’re crazy, weirdo. She’s no better than me”

“Well, you have a warrior in you, too.” He turned to her “I like that”

Magna got closer to him “So, you are admitting I am better than Alicia”

“I am not.” He looked at her “I do not like to feed egos. It is hard enough to handle Negan”

Magna chuckled “So, am I better than her sister, then?”

Benjen laughed, standing up “Lexa would kill you both in a second”

“Where are you going?”

“To talk to Alicia”

Whatever it was... he seemed to have gotten the incentive he needed.

He had to finish his mission.


	6. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Benjen finds the courage to talk to Alicia but is not sure how to break the news to her, even knowing he has little time to do so.
> 
> Meanwhile Azgeda attack Eden.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> This is a shorter chapter but I hope you like it anyway!
> 
> I'm sorry if there are some English or grammar mistakes!
> 
> Please give me feedback!

Alicia was sitting in her corner, enjoying the peaceful moment with a warm drink in her hands.

She still felt tired, but watching everyone already working on fixing the damages made her want to stay there and help.

She just needed some more moments.

A slightly longer pause.

“May I?”

She was surprised to see Benjen, suddenly next to her “Of course”

He nodded, taking a seat in front of her.

“How’s the arm?” She asked

He shrugged “It’s nothing” his eyes found hers.

Now she watched him closer, she noticed he had caramel eyes.

It suited him perfectly.

“Thank you. For your help”

She shrugged “You saved me too. So we’re even”

He looked down, with a nod.

“I guess it took that for you to finally talk to me, uh?”

“Oh…” he took a deep breath “About that, uh… I’m sorry. Really…” he spoke

She stared at him as he continued “I never intended for you to believe I was stalking you”

Alicia nodded “No worries”

“I… uh… I travelled the entire country in the past months” he awakened her curiosity “I went to a lot of places… a lot of communities… It’s strange we never crossed paths before”

She stared at him “Well it’s a big country. Besides you cannot be so sure of that”

“Trust me, I can” He spoke, shrugging when he felt her intense stare on him “I mean… I would definitely remember you”

“Benjen…” she chuckled “You’re being weird”

“Yeah, Magna says that all the time” he looked down

“I kind of… I wasn’t always in the same place, so… you have your answer”

Benjen nodded, of course that possibility had crossed his mind countless times. He was glad he made the choices he made, though. It brought him to Hilltop and, after all, it made possible for Alicia to find him.

“Maybe I should go and see if they need some help” Alicia spoke, standing up

“No… you did enough already” Benjen stood up as well

She frowned “What do you suggest, then?”

“We could… go for a walk?”

“Still making it weird, Benjen” She looked up realizing her head barely reached his shoulders, now he was closer “Couldn’t you have grown more? I mean, what did you have for childhood? Spinach?”

He smiled “It’s a family thing”

Alicia looked at him “Where’s your family?”

“So… a walk then?”

Alicia sighed “Fine, I can join weird”

He smiled, feeling the excitement spreading, he needed to do this. He couldn’t just break the news like that.

He had little time, though.

He needed to tell her, soon.

***Eden***

Lexa has lost the notion of the time she had been alone. For the past days she had been focusing on her complete recovery. Since she was already able to do the basics with not so much effort, she started to exercise her body as much as she could, given the circumstances.

After all, she never left Thia’s place.

She sensed Thia’s nervousness growing everyday, so she knew a fight was approaching, even if Thia wouldn’t admit it to her.

Lexa couldn’t wait to be out of there and find Clarke. She even considered the possibility of sending a message, but she knew it would be too risky. She just wished there was a way to reach Clarke, to warn her, to tell her she was there and hoping to find her soon.

She wished for Clarke to wait, too.

To wait for her.

The thought made her nervous, even if she tried to put it aside, in her mind. But, after all, it had been a long time and Clarke still didn’t know she survived that shot.

“Ugh…” she sighed, stopping her exercise for a moment.

She wondered when Thia was returning. She would leave for a while, every now and then, but she was never gone for so long. It was starting to worry Lexa that something might have happened.

So, she stood up and tried to focus on what was happening outside.

She could sense the hurried steps, the murmur and jitters.

“Azgeda komba raun, Hef. Gyon op!”

Lexa immediately became alert.

Of course, it shouldn’t come as a surprise, for her. But she knew she couldn’t stay there.

She had to leave.

She couldn’t risk to be seen.

“Jomp em op!”

She was already trying to quickly gather what could be useful for her when Thia returned, surprising her.

“Thia?!”

She smiled at her “Heda, forgive me for my absence”

“What is going on?”

“You need to leave” she handed Lexa a cloak and a dagger “I was preparing your safe departure, Azgeda is coming”

Lexa watched her, suddenly perplexed, Thia was risking everything for her. “Take the way back and, in the corner, after the woodworker place, you will find a horse with the essentials for a few days. You must go east to safely leave here.” She nervously said “I am not sure where is safe, anymore, after that”

The younger girl showed her a small smile “I’ll be fine. Thank you for everything Thia”

She sighed “Anything for you” She grabbed Lexa’s hand “Oso gaf yu in, Heda”

Lexa smiled “Ai gonplei no ste odon” she spoke, before leaving.

Putting the cloak above herself, trying to hide her face, she quickly did as Thia told her to. She had no trouble finding the horse at all and no one seemed to notice her. Everyone was too busy preparing for the upcoming Ice Nation people, who surely did not come in peace.

Lexa noticed the bag of supplies Thia had arranged for her, as well as a sword and, at least, one knife.

“This should be enough” she petted the animal before jumping on top him, to leave. “Thank you, Thia”

Lexa had no doubt about her destination.

She needed to get to Arkadia.

So, she rode for the next hours, always cautious and aware of her surroundings.

Precaution was never too much in those times of war.

Truth was, at first she was sure she was alone. But at a certain point, she felt herself being followed.

Lexa remained calm, though, knowing it would only be a problem if someone recognized her. If not, then she would only be slowed down by these people.

She decided to slow her pace and carefully tried to count the eyes who followed her without them noticing. It took her a while, but she was patient.

After all, she had to, she still wasn’t the same Lexa, the last true commander. That Lexa would handle that situation a lot quicker.

Once she saw the river, she decided to stop and get down from the horse, already knowing there were, at least, three people in the area. Even if there was another one, she knew he wouldn’t retreat if the situation turned violent.

She knew he would join the fight.

So, patiently, she took a seat next to the horse and decided to eat something, awaiting their next move.

And Lexa wasn’t wrong.

They did attack.

“Weron yu’s gon?”

She heard, from behind, a while later.

Standing up, she kept her eyes down, with the cloak still hiding her face “Gon we”

He laughed “No.” she could sense him approaching, but did not turn. Once she attacked, the others would show up, as well.

“Chit yu dula? Chon yu bilaik?”

“Gon we o wan op” she threatened, holding the knife in her hand. Her sword was a few inches behind her, next to the horse.

The man laughed, approaching her “Branwoda…”

Lexa let him approach her more before turning to slit his throat instantly.

Once again, she wasn’t wrong. All the others showed up instantly.

She was still not the same but fighting was in her nature. So, she quickly took the step back to grab her sword and fought all of them, bravely.

They had no idea who they were dealing with, they were obviously following orders. But there was no time for mercy, those days. It would be a huge risk to let them live, particularly after they saw her.

“Heda!” the last one standing had the time to react, once he saw her.

Immediately, he fell to his knees, dropping his sword “Wigod ai up, Heda…”

Lexa observed him, for a while, dropping the cloak from her head. Whoever’s orders he was following didn’t matter, for him, then.

His loyalty was still with her.

“Yu kik raun, Heda…” he said, breathless.

She approached him, knowing what she had to do.

And she had a feeling he knew, too.

“Beja…” he was shaking “… Heda…”

Lexa gulped, puncturing his heart with her sword “Yu gonplei ste odon…”

It was as if she froze in her spot, for a moment, after that. 

_Maybe someday you and I will owe nothing to our people. _Clarke’s voice echoed in her mind.

She could not explain, but the tears simply fell down her cheeks.

She wished for that so bad and yet, she knew she would never be able to.

She was born for that kind of life. Just like Clarke. She knew that, as well.

She even wished now, after she got this second chance in life, free from the flame and from any obligation, she would be able to find Clark so both could just leave everything behind.

Find peace, away from there, both of them.

Yet, how could she?

Maybe she didn’t carry the flame no more, but the feeling of responsibility was still there.

People were still dying because of her. For her. For peace.

_Yu sou laik kongeda-de, Heda. _Gustus once told her.

He was dead.

_I’ve been the flamekeeper for four commanders, and no one has done what you have. _

Titus was also dead.

All her novitiates were dead.

_Costia_ was dead.

_Ge ron, Leksa. Yu laik Heda… yu laik meizen, pyure. Yu sen ai in? Yu laik chilnes…_

Lexa was called back to reality once the horse approached her, patting her cheek with his muzzle.

She sighed, wiping the tears away.

Benjen was dead, too.

***Hilltop***

“My family is on the other side of the country” Benjen explained Alicia, as they walked “I am from TonDC”

Alicia observed him, as he talked “Well, I think so, at least, I haven’t been with them in so long”

She sadly smiled at him “Be hopeful, if they are alive you can see them again”

He turned to her, knowing her point “You lost family?”

She nodded, looking away “Everyone”

_Not everyone_. He thought.

“I’m sorry, Alicia”

Shrugging, she took a deep breath “Everyone goes through bad stuff, these times…”

Benjen stared at her, amazed. Lexa would say something similar, if confronted in such way, he was sure.

“So there is a dress code, in TonDC?” she tried to change the subject.

Benjen stopped to take a look at himself, making Alicia giggle “Is there a problem with me?”

“Not at all, Benjen” she smiled “It’s actually cool”

“I was trained to fight since I was a kid. Just like every other kid.” He spoke

“That’s good. We need to be prepared for what’s outside. It’s not bad they want to start to teach the youngest how to fight”

“I do not mean walkers” Benjen spoke “There are no walkers, where I come from”

Alicia stopped in her tracks “Excuse me?”

“Well… we are twelve clans and there are guards watching all the external borders to make sure no walker invades our areas.” Benjen explained “When people die we do not let them turn. There are people who never saw walkers in their lives. Some even believe them to be a myth”

Her eyes widened “How can you guard such a long territory? Are you like... thousands?”

Benjen smiled “Twelve clans, Alicia. We are too many”

She gulped “That is incredible…”

He smiled at her, as she continued “So you were trained to actually fight people…”

“Yes. I was a guard in Polis before I left.”

“Polis?”

“Our capital”

“Oh…” Alicia said, confused.

“You know it’s fine. I told Magna and she doesn’t believe half the things I say”

Alicia smiled “You do look and fight like a damn great warrior, so why wouldn’t I believe you?”

He smiled at her, mesmerized with her beauty. She was exactly as Lexa yet so different, it amazed him more and more. Alicia seemed way more relaxed and at ease with everyone around her. She seemed so calm all the time but wouldn’t let something she disliked slip by. Oh, she was protective and could be truly mean if she wanted. She smiled way more easily than Lexa and Benjen liked that so much.

He remembered how many times he tried to get Lexa to smile more. He even succeeded more than others, but only when both were alone and she could finally get rid of the weight of responsibility, for a while.

Of course, duty forced Lexa to grow up in an entirely different way.

“Benjen?”

He looked at Alicia, suddenly realizing he must have been distracted and did not hear her last words.

“I’m sorry, you said something?”

“Why did you leave your home, Benjen? Your family?”

Benjen looked at her, trying to avoid that answer straight away “So what happened to your family?”

Alicia stopped and crossed her arms “Running from my questions now?”

He smirked “I’ve told you a few things, yet you did not reciprocate”

“I don’t think I ever agreed to this?”

“You don’t have to tell me, if you don’t want to” Benjen looked at her, taking a seat on a bench.

It was too dark, by then.

Only a few people were outside, most of them had already retracted to their places.

“My father died when I was still young. I spent most of my life with my mother and brother, but lost both too.” She sat next to him and he was glad she actually talked to him “My mother died to protect us. She saved us…”

Benjen smiled at her “I bet she was a brave woman”

Alicia nodded, looking down “She was…”

“I mean... it is a family thing”

She smiled “You have no idea”

“Oh, I do…” he chuckled

Alicia stared at him, raising an eyebrow “You only know me for a few days… More like hours since you refused to talk to me before...” she spoke “What ensures you of anything about me, uh?”

Benjen looked at her. _I need to tell her. _He thought. _Even if she won’t believe me. There is no possible good way to break the news._

“You only had a brother?” He asked

Alicia turned to him, nodding “Nick…”

“Nick…” he nodded “Are you sure? No one else?”

Alicia looked at him, suspiciously “What’s your point, Benjen?”

He looked down “Alicia…”

“Benjen? What’s your point?”

“I grew up with this brave lady. She was chosen to lead our people a few years ago” he whispered “She’s in danger and… uh… you asked me before why I left... I left because of her”

Alicia looked at him “Are you running from my question again?!”

“You are identical.” He finally told her.

The young lady stared at him, perplexed. “I-Identical?”

Benjen nodded “You look exactly the same”

Alicia froze in her spot, shocked. He was not saying what she thought he was, right?

***Near the Dropship***

Lexa continued her journey, avoiding small villages, camps, watching points and every place where she could find people.

After the incident with the other men, there were more, but she didn’t find the strength to do the same. She felt her body sore, not used to that rythm anymore.

Instead, she was able to lose them and safely continue her journey.

She knew she was close to the dropship and was wondering if it was a good spot for shelter, so she could rest for a few hours.

After all, it was supposedly abandoned.

Deciding to take her chances, she went for it and drop off her horse once she arrived. Her sword was in her hand in a second and she was about to search the place when a voice surprised her.

“You stop right there”

Lexa knew that voice and was sure there was a fire gun pointed at her. Slowly, she turned to face the young man, who dropped the weapon once he recognized her.

She wasn’t wrong.

She knew him.

“L-Lexa?”

It was Bellamy.


	7. CHAPTER 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alicia tries to deal with the shocking news.
> 
> Lexa gets some help for the so much expected reunion with Clarke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like this one!
> 
> A lot more to come!
> 
> I'm sorry if there are some grammar or english mistakes!
> 
> Carly*

***Hilltop***

The next day arrived soon and Benjen refused to go get some rest.

He started to clean what were still remains from the storm before dawn, but soon enough some others joined him.

There was still much to do.

Plus, he desperately wanted to keep his mind occupied.

_“Alicia?” _

_The young girl had taken her distance from him, after he broke the news to her. He tried to approach her, but she wouldn’t let him. _

_“I am sorry…” he spoke, behind her “It was weird, when I first saw you here. I mean, I knew you existed but to actually see you and to actually meet you…”_

_“I should… uh… I have to go” She spoke before leaving him alone. _

_“Alicia!” he called back but knew it wouldn’t be wise to go after her._

Yet, the next hours were like torture to him. He knew this would be one of her probable reactions. The only positive aspect he could think of was the fact he was now sure Alicia knew she had a sister.

If she didn’t know, like Lexa didn’t, she wouldn’t believe him.

So, this reaction of hers made it obvious that she knew about her sister. However, it made him nervous that she didn’t even want to listen to anything else. After all, Benjen did not get the chance to explain why he left his home and how he was actually searching for Alicia.

The only thing he was able to tell her was that his leader was her twin.

“You ok, dude?”

Benjen didn’t need to turn to know it was Jerry’s voice “Yes.”

Jerry raised his hands, not insisting “Alright, cool”

Benjen was hoping to see Alicia during the day, but he wasn’t lucky. He couldn’t be sure of what to do.

Maybe he should wait a little longer and let her deal with this new information.

“Alexandrian’s at the gates!”

It was dark, already, when they arrived.

Benjen decided to approach the gates and immediately saw Daryl’s dog running inside, as they opened. Daryl followed in his motorbike and soon, also Michonne and Judith.

The people at Hilltop might have told them what happened with the storm and they were probably there to help with needed things that Alexandria could provide.

“Heard you did good” Daryl approached him

Benjen nodded “I tried to”

“We should go for a ride, one of these days”

Benjen stared at him, surprised. Daryl was definitely not one for this kind of invitations, so the younger man knew he was probably up to something.

“Well, I won’t be here for long” He replied

“You say that ever since you got here” He shrugged, walking away

“Yes, but now I found what I was looking for” Benjen spoke

“What did you find?”

Benjen was surprised to see Judith next to him, while Daryl didn’t seem interested in more conversation.

He smiled at her “Alicia”

Judith frowned “You didn’t find Alicia, Daryl and Negan did”

“Well… Alicia found me, then”

“Are you dating?” she excitedly asked

“What? Judith? Wh-no!” Benjen was taken aback with her words

Judith smiled “You so are!”

“What’s up?” Magna joined them

“Benjen was telling me about his girlfriend!”

Benjen rolled his eyes, sighing out loud “Oh… chon ona skafa disha…”

“Judith!” Michonne called, far from there

“Coming!” Judith smiled at Benjen “Can I talk to Alicia, later?” she asked Benjen

“Gon we, yongon!”

“You talk weird, Benjen!” Judith laughed, before leaving them.

Benjen sighed, once again, taking a few moments before turning to Magna, who looked at him, amused.

“Sooo, wanna tell me where you were, last night?”

“Magna…”

“Having fun with Alicia?”

“Magna…”

“I mean, wow, it was a rough lead-off but damn… you didn’t need tips after all”

“En pleni, Magna!” he frowned

“Hey… relax, lukot” She smiled “You talked to her, uh?”

He nodded, looking down

“C’mon, tell me how it was” 

***The Dropship***

“Is it really you?”

Lexa didn’t move, yet she felt relaxed.

She knew Bellamy wasn’t a threat.

At least, she hoped so.

She knew about everything that happened with Pyke and wasn’t sure where his loyalty stood. But Clarke trusted him so, she probably should be relaxed about him.

“Bellamy”

He stood closer to her, in shock “Everyone… everyone thinks you’re dead”

Lexa nodded “I know. I’m here, though”

He gulped “Clarke… she said she watched you die”

She looked down “I was sent to Eden after that, with not so many hopes, I was told” she explained “I woke up a couple of weeks ago”

Bellamy looked at her “You can end this war, Lexa”

Lexa sighed “I’m not so sure, Bellamy. I am not even the commander. Not anymore”

“Yes, but Clarke has the flame, so we put it back in you!” Bellamy explained

Lexa stared at him, starting to worry about his ideas. She wasn’t so sure about what she should do. She was tired of war and she wasn’t sure she could handle going back to that daily tension.

“Bellamy, if she has the flame, then she is in danger. Azgeda is on the move”

He nodded “I know, I was trying to convince Trikru to fight with us, but…” he shrugged “I’ve been having some trouble with my sister and… it hasn’t been easy”

Lexa nodded “Where’s Clarke?”

“She’s safe, in Arkadia.” He assured her “Lexa… you being alive is great news!”

“Bellamy… It does please me you are happy to see me alive only because there might be a safe and quick solution for your people, but I am here for Clarke” she spoke “I am not even here for the flame”

Bellamy was caught by surprise, but got the message soon enough “Alright… so, we all talk, then, and think of a way to solve all this, right? We need to solve this”

“Are you alone?”

“Here, yes. I sent the rest of the group back to Arkadia, we were on our way back but I sensed something a while back and… well, someone. You”

Lexa nodded at him as he continued “Why did you come here?”

She shrugged “Was thinking about a relatively safe place to rest for a while”

He looked at her “Are you ok?”

“I’m fine”

“I mean, with a shot like that… are you su…?”

“I’m fine, Bellamy”

“Alright, so, let’s go inside and talk. You can rest for a while, then we decide what the best thing to do next is”

Lexa nodded at him, actually thankful he seemed to understand she didn’t want many people to know about her. Not yet, anyway.

Once they got into the ship, Lexa was glad to find a spot where she could lay down for a while.

“You want me to radio to Arkadia? Put Clarke on the other side?”

Lexa gulped, suddenly too nervous and her mind filled with numerous doubts.

_What if she moved on?_

“You know… _your death_. It killed her too.” Bellamy sat across from her “At first she was too busy with ALLIE and all but, she was never alright. And when it ended, when she finally had a small break, it wasn’t good”

The young lady looked away, feeling the knot in her throat. She couldn’t form a word, she was afraid her voice would betray her.

“You don’t want to show yourself right away. I can understand that” He spoke

“I want this over as much as you do” She whispered, looking at him “But I need to think this through. Right now I just want to make sure Clarke is safe”

Bellamy nodded “What about I radio Clarke and tell her to come here?”

Lexa gulped, still fearing the reunion yet wanting it so badly. “Alright”

He nodded, putting the radio next to his mouth “Arkadia, this is Bellamy”

It took only a few moments, for a reply_ “This is Raven”_

“Raven, can you get Clarke? It’s important”

_“Alright, gimme a sec”_

Both waited for some moments, but it was, again, Raven’s voice on the other side _“Sorry Bell, she’s having this moment with her mom right now, you want me to deliver some message? Or I can tell her to radio once she can”_

Bellamy looked at Lexa “Alright, Raven, I need you to do something real important”

_“Sounds serious, Bell” _

“I need you to bring Clarke to the dropship, first thing in the morning. Please?”

_“I can’t be sure she wants to leave, Bellamy. She only left her room like days ago after ages locked up in there”_

“Raven, please, you can do this and she will even thank you later”

_“What’s going on?” _

“Come and see, tomorrow. Bring Clarke”

_“Oh, c’mon, Bellamy! Tell me…”_

“Bellamy out.”

He looked at Lexa, who seemed to be in a mix of pain, worry, apprehension and yet, happiness.

“All set up. Clarke will be here, Raven will sort it out”

She showed him a small smile “You don’t know me, Bellamy. Why are you doing this?”

“Clarke has said a few things” he smiled “And I trust her. Plus, I’ve messed up enough… so… I’m sure you mean good”

“No one can judge rushed decisions in times of war. You might have made bad decisions but you also have your share of great doings. You helped my people in Mt. Weather… I was the one making a bad decision the day it all ended”

Bellamy smiled at her, surprised with her words.

She was apologizing for Mt. Weather.

Again.

“You know” he stood up “You don’t really need the flame to be a true commander”

***Hilltop***

“Sup, lady?” Alicia sensed Negan approaching her “You trying to go into a fucking hunger strike mode?”

She noticed her had brought her food but she did not feel like eating, at all.

She was still too shocked with Benjen’s words.

She had been thunderstruck with her mother’s letter. For the better or not, she made her decision to be away and deal with everything on her own. She was finally allowing herself to mingle with groups again, knowing she couldn’t be a lone wolf forever. Even though she was still adjusting, Alicia was happy with what she found in Alexandria, Hilltop and all those people.

But this kind of news, she was not expecting at all...

Alicia was even frustrated that she burned her mother’s letter, but she was sure she wasn’t wrong about what she read. Her mother mentioned her sister was sick and didn’t make it. She was sure of that.

So how was this possible?

However, at the same time, she knew Benjen could not simply make up something like that. How would he even guess she had a twin sister? There was no way he was lying. So, it actually made sense he was hesitating to talk to her.

“Alicia?”

Negan’s voice called her back to reality and she noticed she hadn’t said a word nor accepted the food he brought her.

“Are you ok, miss?” he softly asked her, touching her shoulder.

She looked away, taking a deep breath

“My mother wrote me a letter, before she died.” she said after some moments.

Negan sat closer to her, ready to listen to her.

Alicia wouldn’t know how to answer, but for some reason, she would trust Negan with her story.

Part of it, at least.

“She said she couldn’t be sure if she would have the courage to tell me, ever, while still alive…” Alicia breathed “She gave it to my friends. _Friends_…” she sighed, with a chuckle “They just decided it would be good to protect me from that letter too, because it would be too much and I also lost my brother soon after… or I don’t know, I don’t fucking know why…”

“Is that why you left?”

She nodded “It was also one reason to leave. I hate it when people make decisions for me. When people just assume what is best for others. When people just… hide things… blatantly lie. I got to know they even knew about the letter’s content.”

“Hey… I thought you were overcoming all that shit, miss” he showed her a smirk “I mean, you fucking got me, now”

Alicia didn’t react to his words, knowing he was trying to cheer her up. But he still didn’t know that wasn’t the problem, at the moment.

He continued, when Alicia hesitated “So, that was a fucking snowball of emotions right there. No wonder you felt fucking fooled. What the shit was that secret anyway? Of your mother?”

“Well, apparently I grew up without knowing I had a twin sister” Alicia whispered “She wrote that she died still a baby so there was no way I would remember her” she spoke “She said she was gone”

Negan looked at her, surprised “That doesn’t fucking seem like a big deal to keep a damn secret about”

“It drove my father insane, I guess… Now I think about it, I just… I don’t know. I agree with you I just… keep trying to find a justification”

“Miss,” Negan made her look at him “What is really upsetting you so fucking much right now? I mean you know all this shit for so fucking long. Why dropping this shit on me now?”

“Benjen…”

Negan frowned “What about that fucking Leonidas?”

She sighed “He told me that his leader… where he comes from… is her”

“Her?” Negan frowned “Who?”

“Someone who looks just like me. _Identical_ as he said.”

Negan stared at her, surprised “So… your sister didn’t fucking die then?”

“How can I know, Negan? He couldn’t possibly guess, right?!” She stressfully stood up

“Hey… shh…” he stood up, holding her shoulders “Of course he couldn’t fucking guess. I mean it actually explains his fucking behavior I mistook with post fucking puberty thrill”

Alicia sighed “Ugh, why am I even telling you this...”

Negan smirked, making her look at him again “I wanna fucking help, alright? What else did he tell you?”

“Nothing… I kinda… left”

He nodded “Look… maybe you should give him a fucking chance and listen to what he has to say, right? Your mom wouldn’t lie to you that way, but maybe she didn’t know? Your sis might have been taken or some shit like that. There are many fucking movies like that”

Alicia sighed as he continued “Besides, if your fucking twin sister is somewhere out there, wouldn’t you want to meet her?” he suddenly smirked “Just imagine there are fucking two of you? It is a fucking gift to mother fucking nature!”

“I don’t know, Negan…” she stepped back “and shut up…”

Both didn’t have the chance to continue, since Daryl showed up with Judith.

“Alicia!” Judith quickly hugged her, surprising her “Are you ok? You seem upset”

She smiled at her, then at Daryl “Hey Judith… Daryl”

“Woah, lil badass is here!” Negan exclaimed, as Judith smiled at him “Shouldn’t you have come before, when we needed all that bravery in ya to slay the motherfucking walkers?”

“Language, Negan” she giggled

“How you holding up?” Daryl asked Alicia, ignoring the rest “They like you a lot, here”

Alicia nodded “I’m good”

“Are you dating Benjen, Alicia?” Judith asked

Alicia’s eyes widened, but Negan reacted first.

“What?!” He snapped “Oh, he fucking wished, lil miss! He better don’t touch this lady”

“I am not dating Benjen, Judith. I don’t know where you took that idea from” Alicia explained

“Well, he says he found what he was looking for and that was you” Judith said

Alicia frowned, exchanging eyes with Negan

“C’mon, let’s eat something and rest. There’s a lot to do, tomorrow” Daryl spoke

“You have to talk to the fucker” Negan whispered to Alicia, once they left the room.

***Arkadia***

“I am seriously going to kill you Raven. It is not even a consideration anymore” Clarke was rambling as Raven dragged her outside Arkadia’s gates and into the woods “It should be in your consideration to tell me what the hell are you doing, where are you taking me and why…” she continued

“I promise you, you will thank me later, girl” Raven spoke

“I mean, what’s the part of I am done with all this that you didn’t get?”

“Just please shut up? I am done taking shots, stabs, cuts, whatever other forms of body torture… and we never know who might be around”

Those words seemed to calm Clarke, who decided just to walk alongside her friend, looking at her “I’m sorry, Raven”

“Gosh, please, do not go into rambling again with apologizing mode this time”

Clarke rolled her eyes “You are impossible, today”

The both walked for some time, still. They crossed paths with no one and Clarke was actually happy about it.

She still felt like there seemed to be trouble everywhere she went and she had just left Arkadia after a long time locked up in there.

She hoped nothing bad was about to happen.

“See? This is good for you, too.” Raven told her “Being out here, don’t you miss it?”

Clarke looked at her “I miss a lot of things, Raven”

She nodded “Damn I wish I could have brought a horse”

“Are we going to walk for long?” Clarke asked

“Still a couple of miles?”

“Are you taking me to the dropship?” Clarke asked, already knowing the area too well

Raven frowned “Always so insightful…”

“What about the dropship? What is there so special about it? Is there someone there? Who?”

“Clarke… please, I don’t know, alright?”

“You don’t know?”

“I don’t”

Clarke frowned “I don’t like this”

“Shh…”

Clarke was actually curious, despite her jitters, and, when they finally arrived at the dropship, she observed it by detail.

It didn’t seem so different.

That was where it all started.

It seemed like a dream, almost.

Like in another life.

“Clarke… Raven”

Clarke saw Bellamy walking out of the ship “Oh, I shouldn’t be surprised, should I?” she turned to Raven “You scared me…”

Bellamy smiled and accepted Clarke in a tight hug “Thanks for coming, Clarke”

“Hey, thank me instead” Raven snapped “I deserve a price for being able to pull this one out of the cage”

“What’s going on, Bellamy?” Clarke asked “Trouble with Octavia?”

He smiled “That’s not the reason I asked Raven to bring you here, no…”

“So what is it?”

“Look, I need you to go in there. I found something last night. It’s for you”

“For me?”

Bellamy took a step aside, encouraging her to step forward and into the ship. “Go and see for yourself”


	8. CHAPTER 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke is sure she is hallucinating when she sees Lexa inside the ship.
> 
> But is she?
> 
> \- Clarke and Lexa finally reunite.  
\- Alicia makes an important decision

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, 
> 
> This is a smaller chapter, but I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> Please give me feedback!
> 
> I apologize if there are some english mistakes.
> 
> Carly*

Clarke took a few steps towards the entrance of the ship, hesitatingly.

She trusted Bellamy and knew he would never put her in arms way, but for some reason, she feared what could be on the inside.

A lot of things crossed her mind, but she tended to prefer the thought of Bellamy, and many of her friends in Arkadia, allowing her to take her time but, at the same time, wanting her to move forward and be more helpful in such dangerous times.

So Bellamy was probably up to something.

Slowly, she stepped inside the ship, calmly observing what seemed to be a way too quiet space.

However, if her heart was beating in a rapid pace before, if definitely started pounding promptly.

Her first thought was she was hallucinating, yet again, at the sight of a sleeping Lexa, in a corner.

Her breath got stuck in her throat.

Her legs seemed to weaken, suddenly.

_She isn’t real_. She thought.

The ache in her heart was unbearable, all over again.

She looked away, trying to shake the visions in her hear away.

_She’s gone, Clarke. _

But when she turned again, Lexa was still there.

Clarke took her hands to her face, visibly shaking and already torn apart.

The torment wouldn’t end.

“Please… stop…” she breathed out loud, closing her eyes, unable to deal with the situation.

Her words, however, awakened the sleeping Lexa, whom she still believed to be unreal.

The former commander was unsure how to deal with the mix of feelings in her heart, at the moment, when she opened her eyes to see the beautiful blonde there.

Clarke was already there.

_It is her. _Lexa thought, standing up in a second, her heart skipping several heartbeats.

She seemed healthy, which was acceptable for Lexa.

But she was visibly upset, shaking and avoiding eye contact.

“Clarke…” She whispered, unsure of her next move.

The blonde, however, seemed shocked at the sound of her voice. She opened her watery ocean colored eyes to stare at Lexa, gasping once she saw her standing.

“You’re not real…” she breathed

Lexa stared at her, feeling her heart aching, for Clarke. She wished to never see her in such emotional wreck. It broke her heart to see her like that.

“I am…” she took a step forward, extending her hand to her, wanting to give Clarke all the time she wanted to adjust to the situation.

The tears fell from Clarke’s eyes as she stared at Lexa, still in doubt and shock.

She doubted her heart could handle that for much longer.

_Am I going insane for good?_ She asked herself, knowing she would never resist to not give it a try.

For her utter surprise, her hand felt the solid, soft flesh of Lexa, once she reached for it.

“Gosh…” she gasped, looking up at Lexa.

She was feeling her there.

Lexa was there.

Her hands moved up Lexa’s arms, as if wanting to feel every inch of her, who was quite real, after all.

She stopped once she cupped her face, observing her by detail, still shaking as a leaf.

Lexa’s lips showed her a warm smile, looking down at her with also watery eyes.

“Lexa…!” she then threw her arms around her, squeezing her hard as the tears fell more abundantly.

“Clarke…” Lexa breathed with her eyes closed, caressing her back. She couldn’t be more relieved and happy to reunite with her.

“H-How…” Clarke breathed “Lexa, how is this possible?” she asked, still unable to let go.

“Titus sent me to Eden, after I was shot. Somehow, this lady, Thia, brought me back. She then looked after me all this time…” Lexa explained “I only woke up a few weeks ago, but I had no safe way to get to you and…”

“Shhh” Clarke cried, cupping her cheeks in her hands, again “You’re alive…” she dropped her forehead in hers “You’re here… I thought I lost you, forever” she breathed, in tears.

Lexa showed her a smile “I’ll always be with you, Clarke” she played with her hair “No matter how…”

Clarke dropped her head on Lexa’s shoulder, still unable to deal with the whirlwind of emotions “I’m sorry, Lexa”

“Hey…” Lexa made her look at her “You have nothing to be sorry for. I am sorry I couldn’t get to you, sooner, as well.” She explained

Clarke shocked her head “It is my fault, Lexa”

Lexa made her look her in the eyes “None of this is your fault. Don’t dare to think about it again.”

Clarke looked at her beautiful green expressive eyes. She missed her so much, it hurt. Her being there was the miracle and opportunity she would never dare to miss, that time.

Her biggest regret, once she thought she lost Lexa, was knowing they could both have been so much more. She regretted not having given into Lexa before, so much.

She leaned in to press her lips into Lexa’s, in such a tender yet passionate kiss both desperately needed. They immediately weakened under each other’s touch, knowing only one thing for sure – they wouldn’t dare to let go. Clarke held Lexa's face has her lips made love to hers, while Lexa held Clarke's body close, missing that feeling so much she wasn't able to let go.

“I love you, Lexa”

The brunette smiled at her, once they broke the kiss. Her heart fluttered and she squeezed Clarke’s hands, relieved.

It would be understandable if Clarke had moved on. She couldn’t blame her for it.

But she didn’t.

She waited for her.

And, in that case, Lexa couldn’t be more happy about it.

“Ai hod yu in, ai snogon” she smiled, kissing her forehead before pulling her into yet another tight hug.

***Hilltop* **

Benjen was on the verge of giving up.

He had no idea what else he could do.

Alicia never returned to talk to him nor gave him a chance to find her and try to.

What was he supposed to do? Kidnap Alicia and take her to Polis by force?

_Well, it’s not like her faith will be much better once she gets there._

He shook his own thoughts away.

He still didn’t know how to deal with his father’s plan.

“What’s her name?”

Benjen looked up, more than surprised. He was laying in the grass, taking a break, when Alicia appeared out of nowhere.

His lips parted, mesmerized with her beauty, as she sat down next to him.

“Lexa…”

Alicia gulped “Lexa…” 

“You knew you had a sister, right?” Benjen asked, after a few moments

“Only found out recently. My mother never told me. My family never told me” She explained “My mother left me a letter. Then I knew. Yet, my mother mentioned she died still a baby”

Benjen shocked his head “She was taken to Polis to be trained while she was a baby. She’s a natblida”

Alicia frowned, staring at him.

“Blackblood”

“What?”

Benjen took a deep breath “Alicia, I can’t explain you what happened with your parents, I do not know” he explained “I do know that she is a natblida and all natblidas are taken to Polis to be trained. Only natblidas can become commanders”

“Black blood?!”

“It is rare… families can have generations go by without any natblida. People outside the clans don’t usually understand because all natblidas are usually tracked down and taken there”

“So you are saying my sister was kidnapped”

“I cannot affirm it, Alicia. I’m just saying it is possible”

Alicia frowned, feeling somewhat revolted with the situation. Her parents were fooled. They lived their lives believing in a lie.

“You would probably not accept her, anyway. People tend to reject what they fear.”

Alicia looked away, not wanting to let her rage out on Benjen, even if she felt like it, after his words.

Yet she knew he had a point, even if that wouldn’t happen with her parents. She was sure of it.

A knot in her throat formed once she thought about her sister. She would probably hate both her and their parents.

Kidnapped or not, they just accepted it.

No one ever went looking for her.

“You told… uh…” Alicia hesitated “You told Judith you were looking for me, all this time”

Benjen looked “I only know about this story because my father told me, Alicia. He sent me on this mission to find you”

Alicia looked at him “To find me?”

Benjen looked “I looked for you for months. I travelled all around and, in the end, it was you who came through those gates and found me, first”

She gulped “Why?”

Benjen sighed “Lexa’s in danger. Lots of things are happening now and we fear for her.”

“And… what can I do?”

Benjen gulped, not knowing what to reply. After all, his father’s plan was to replace the twins if the situation turned deadly for Lexa.

“We are running out of options… we don’t know what else to do and, well… I think Lexa also deserves to know the truth”

Alicia looked at him “She doesn’t know about me, then”

Benjen shocked his head “No… she believes she is an orphan. We grew up together, my father feels like a father to her, as well. Only my father and another man, Titus, know the truth. At least these were my father’s words”

Alicia took a deep breath, letting her body fall onto the grass to look up at the sky.

It was too much to digest, all at once.

Yet she couldn’t help but feel the tenuous twinge of concern for her sister.

For Lexa.

Benjen had left his home, a place he claims there are no walkers, and for months he travelled to find her.

They surely had to be desperate.

She believed him.

It all seemed crazy, but it was not a coincidence she knew she had a twin sister and Benjen suddenly appeared in her life saying his leader was identical to her.

So she believed him.

She was still unsure about all the stories about the clans, their culture, their language, the lack of walkers and, mainly, the whole black blood conversation. But she knew she couldn’t just ignore this.

She had lost her entire family.

She should probably give herself and her sister the chance to, at least, meet. Negan spoke about it and she knew he was right.

“Benjen…?”

She whispered after a long moment, feeling him laying down again, next to her.

“Hmmm?”

“How long from here to Polis?”

Benjen moved up, supporting his weight on his elbow to look at her with a wide smile “Polis is a long months’ walk”

She turned her head to show him an angelic smile “Then we better get going, uh?”

It was as if the air got stuck in his throat as he was, once again mesmerized.

She was too beautiful.

***The Dropship***

“Are you ok, though?” Clarke worriedly asked Lexa, as both decided to take a seat on the floor and be more comfortable.

Clarke leaned against Lexa as her back touched the wall.

“I’m fine” she whispered in a small smile

Clarke touched her belly “I mean, this was pretty messed up…” she whispered, before taking her hand to kiss it “It is impressive you are already standing and doing all this…”

Lexa grabbed her hand “It still doesn’t feel like it should… I need to train more”

Clarke shocked her head “You are not going anywhere out of my sight, now”

“In your sight, then”

Clarke smiled “Yes, we can even… uh… train together”

Lexa smirked “Definitely”

“Gosh, this still feels unreal, Lexa”

“I am very real, Clarke, and I am here” she spoke

The brunette watched as Clarke went to her pocket to grab the small box that she knew guarded the flame “I am here for you, not for this” she put her hand over it, as if telling Clarke to put it away.

Clarke looked at her “I really don’t want to, but we need to talk about what to do, now”

Lexa looked away, unsure of what to say.

“Lexa… who knows you are alive?”

“Just Thia… you and Bellamy”

“So we have to let it stay that way. At least until this is over… I am not losing you again”

Lexa stared at Clarke “Nor I am loosing you, Clarke. And that flame is putting you in danger. I’ve been restless because of it”

Clarke showed her a small smile “You knew it was with me…”

“Titus wouldn’t just give it away to someone he didn’t trust”

“He clearly didn’t trust me, Lexa”

“But he trusted me…”

Clarke nodded, not wanting to dwell much on that subject.

“Knock knock? Can we come in?”

It was Raven’s voice at the entrance and she was followed by Bellamy.

“I’m sorry, I needed to check and see no one had died of happiness” Bellamy smiled at the sight of both

“And I had to check on and see you were alive with my own eyes” Raven quickly said “She’s been crying her eyes out ever since we defeated ALLIE”

Lexa’s grip on Clarke’s hand tightened “I’m here now”

Bellamy sat across them, followed by Raven “We need to talk about what to do next, ladies”

Lexa looked at Clarke, remembering some of her last words to her, in Polis.

_Maybe someday you and I will owe nothing more to our people. _

Even if the brunette still felt like she owed a lot, she knew she was free, by then. But she also knew Clarke wasn’t.

She wished they could just leave everything behind but she could never ask Clarke for such thing. Well, she wasn’t sure she would ever be capable of doing so, either.

They needed to end that war.

“No one knows she is alive and we will let it stay that way” Clarke spoke

“Clarke…” Bellamy disagreed “Lexa could stop this war”

Lexa was expecting those words, even if she and Bellamy had spoken about it.

“No way. We will find another way”

“I am not saying we turn her in, Clarke” he turned to Lexa “We’ll protect you, Lexa. But keeping her hidden is not a smart move”

Lexa remained quiet, while Clarke grew more nervous, but it was Raven who spoke next “Maybe we should just rest for now, clear our heads and then we discuss this?”

“The Ice Nation is on the move! They will tear Arkadia apart!” Bellamy turned to Raven, who frowned

“Bellamy, we will find a way. We always do” she spoke, smiling at the three “C’mon, this is a happy moment, let’s not ruin this” she spoke

“We will get through this” She spoke again

Clarke nodded at her, dropping the conversation. Bellamy did the same, even if he desperately wanted to continue.

Lexa took a deep breath, agreeing they should just appreciate the moment.

They could continue their discussion later.

“This is the smartest thing I’ve heard Raven say” she spoke

“Hey!” Raven protested “You don't know me, I am the smartest person you will ever know, oh fallen commander”

Lexa was actually amused by her reaction “So, that is why it is the smartest thing I have heard from you”

Clarke laughed at both, before turning to Lexa “We will be ok” she grabbed her hand

Lexa nodded at her, with a smile “We will”


	9. CHapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alicia and Benjen's farewell at Hilltop comes with some surprises.
> 
> Lexa and Clarke need to talk about their plans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone.
> 
> Again, a shorter chapter. 
> 
> I'm sorry, but I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> Please give me feedback!
> 
> Carly*

***Hilltop***

“Wait, wait… where the hell do you’re think you’re going?”

Michonne entered the room to see Daryl questioning Alicia, while Negan sat in a corner, surprisingly quiet.

“I’m sorry, Daryl, ok? But you won’t stop me”

Michonne crossed her arms as she watched Daryl frowning at her “You don’t even know him”

Alicia sighed, surprised with Daryl’s attitude, given the fact he never got to know her so well. After all they had only spent a while together, in her first days, back in Alexandria “Look, Daryl, I appreciate all you’ve done for me here, really” she exchanged eyes with Michonne, wanting her to know she was grateful, as well. “But this is my decision”

Daryl stared at her, almost in defeat “We could use someone like you, here. But you know that already”

Alicia showed him a smile “Hey… you have everyone you need, either here or back in Alexandria… I never got to see Oceanside, but I’m sure it is great there, as well. You have the best communities I have ever seen.”

Daryl sighed “So, you believe him?”

He was talking about Benjen.

“There was no way he could know about her, Daryl.” Alicia has been short on explanations, but had mentioned Benjen knew her twin sister, the one she believed was dead. “Plus… if I still have family alive out there, I wanna go”

Daryl looked down, finally nodding at her “I understand…”

“We can get you a bunch of supplies.” Michonne spoke “I can dismiss a wagon for you, as well”

Alicia stared at Michonne, surprised “Oh, there is no need, you will probably need as much as you can... while you are still dealing with all the damage of the storm…”

“We only came so we could help Hilltop. I’ll dismiss you one of our own wagons, from Alexandria” Michonne insisted “Just take it”

Alicia’s eyes were still on her “Oh… thanks”

“The door will be opened if you ever wish to return” She showed her a smile.

Alicia smiled “This is why Morgan always said good things about you guys, I guess”

Of course, Alicia knew she had just dropped a shocking statement.

But she felt like they should know that she met Morgan and he mentioned them.

Michonne frowned “Morgan?”

“You know Morgan?” Daryl asked

“Yeah, he helped me…” she explained “We met right after I lost my mom… he was with the group I was before… well… I left”

“So he told you about us? About our communities?” Daryl curiously asked “Why didn’t you mention him?”

“So us meeting you was actually an accident or you knew we were close?” Michonne asked, curiously

Alicia stared at her “I was alone and not intending to join anyone. Yes I knew, but it was never my real intention to meet you”

She observed them as they processed the new information and decided to answer Daryl’s question “He never said much, but he did mention some of you.” She turned to Negan, who remained shockingly quiet in his corner “He did mention you, too”

Michonne stared at her, surprised “A lot has changed, since he left”

Alicia nodded “I opted to get to know you myself. I was hungry and grateful for a meal and a warm bed. But I didn’t want a different treatment from you guys so... I never mentioned him.”

Daryl smiled at her “You’re a crazy badass, that’s what you are”

Alicia smiled back at him “He’d be crushed to know about Rick.” She turned to Michonne. She had gotten to know Rick’s story, of course. She was curious since Morgan always mentioned him as a great friend “He always talked about him”

She watched Michonne avoiding her eyes, so decided to avoid that sensitive topic of conversation “He’s good and seems to have found a purpose so… I just thought you should know, before I leave.” She grabbed her already prepared backpack.

They nodded at her and, once Alicia noticed the silence, she moved to leave “I’ll go and ask for a few supplies, then. Nothing big, don’t worry.”

She gulped, noticing their eyes on her “Uh… I am really grateful to you, guys. For everything” her eyes fell upon Negan, who avoided her stare

It saddened her, since both were developing this kind of friendship, but she couldn’t let that affect her choice, at the moment. She hoped he could understand her.

The room was in silence after she left.

Daryl was the one breaking it, after a while “She’d be real good, here”

Michonne nodded “No one can blame the girl, Daryl.” She smiled “She’s actually interesting, though”

“Damn right…” Negan stood up “Just imagine all the fucking horror shit Morgan said about me.” He smiled “She didn’t fucking buy it, she wanted to get to fucking know by herself. And that… that’s a big fucking brave lady”

“There’s nothing brave about not being scared of you, honestly” Daryl took a seat “But yeah… strong minded, I like that”

Michonne nodded, as if guessing Negan’s intentions, behind his words “Do what you must”

***At the Dropship***

Lexa was playing with Clarke’s hair, after the blonde fell asleep in her embrace. Both Raven and Bellamy had dispersed, she knew they were probably outside, aware for movements around the area.

She couldn’t deny her joy for finding Clarke, again. She felt as if she had found her purpose, yet again, even if she couldn’t express it, by detail. She just knew there was nothing she wouldn’t do, for her. All she wanted was right there.

And nothing else mattered.

“Hmmm”

Her lips formed a small smile as she watched Clarke awakening.

It was a beautiful sight.

“You’re awake”

“Yu laik meizen, ai snogon”

Clarke smiled at her, taking her hand “What happened to love is weakness, uh?”

Lexa stared at her “I almost lost you”

The blonde stared at her, feeling the painful knot in her throat yet again. She couldn’t be happier to have Lexa there, with her, alive. Both got a second chance they wouldn’t dare to waste.

It all still felt like a dream for Clarke though.

“It was the worst feeling…” Clarke moved up, so they were face to face “seeing you that way, unable to do anything… just watching you, helpless…”

Lexa took her hands to her face “It’s ok, now”

Clarke nodded “I regretted so many things, about you… about us. I wanted things to be different so bad… we could have been so much more and, when I finally realized it, you weren’t there anymore” she dropped her forehead on Lexa’s. “There is no way I’m making the same mistake now”

Lexa smiled “Let’s focus on the present, Clarke. I don’t want to make more mistakes, either. Not with you”

Clarke nodded, leaning for a kiss.

“Hodnes… nou laik… kwelnes, Klarke” Lexa mumbled

Clarke’s smile grew wider “Sha, Heda”

Lexa shocked her head “Leksa”

The blonde stared at her “Maybe we should go to Arkadia, find a way to get you in without you being noticed. I’m sure we can arrange that. This is not the best place to stay”

“I will do as you please, Clarke” Lexa explained “As long as you are safe”

Clarke stared at her, thoughtful “You want the flame back?”

Lexa shrugged “I never asked for this life, Clarke. It was never about what I wanted. All my life has been about duty”

The blonde gulped “I know…”

“So that’s not a good question for me, Clarke… I never asked for the flame” she explained “We don’t even need it, but Bellamy has a point, I could still help”

Clarke nodded “Yes, I know. People would still see you as the commander and you would at least form a reasonable army to fight the Ice Nation”

“But it is still dangerous for the flame to be out there. If it comes to the point someone discovers the truth, I can’t have you with it.”

“Lexa… I…” the brunette interrupted her.

“Clarke I said… I will do as you please, as long as you are safe. And you are not safe with the flame in your possession”

“But you are with me”

Lexa looked at her, as she continued “We will plan this by detail and yes, I know we have to let people know about you, eventually. But for now, please let’s stay this way? Please? Can I have you for a little longer, just for myself?”

The former commander showed her a small smile “Alright… so how do we get in Arkadia?”

Clarke smiled “I have some ideas”

***Hilltop***

Benjen was near the gates, already waiting for Alicia. He could feel the excitement running through his veins.

He was half successful in his mission, after all.

He still couldn’t believe Alicia was promptly going with him. But then again, thinking better, it didn’t surprise him so much. After all, she had lost her family and now discovered she still had a living twin sister. It was reasonable she wanted to meet her.

The thoughts about his father’s plan were way deep in his mind. He was sure they would be able to think of another way to help Lexa, once they got back.

He tried to explain only Magna and Yumiko that he was leaving, wanting to leave calmly, without much uproar. Yet, quickly, he realized everyone already knew it.

People didn’t talk only about him, but about Alicia.

Everyone got to like her and he couldn’t blame them.

Plenty had already approached him to wish him luck and say goodbye, which surprised him, but made him content.

"Benjen!"

His instincts were quick to hold Judith in his arms, after she jumped at him, out of nowhere "I'm gonna miss you"

He smiled at her "You are a brave girl. You will be a fair leader, one day."

She smiled at him "Will I ever see you again?"

"Ai nou get in, yongon"

Judith laughed "Did I ever tell you that you're weird?"

He smiled "I am not, this is a real language" he put her down, noticing Eugene approaching him, at the gates, with a wagon.

"It is so not!" she then walked away, probably to said goodbye to Alicia, as well.

“What is this?”

“Cortesy of Michonne for both you and Alicia, for the journey” he sadly said “You already have the essential supplies for a couple of weeks” Eugene spoke

His eyes widened “That is not necessary…!”

“No one here will take no as an answer, Benjen” He explained

The grounder would reply, but he noticed Alicia trying to make her way to him, constantly being approached, in the way.

He smiled, they were just saying goodbye.

Soon, he felt Magna throwing a backpack to the wagon in front of him, jumping inside “What is this… Magna?”

She stared at him “I am going, too”

“What?” he looked at her, then back to Yumiko, who nervously stood a few steps back, staring at them “Magna? You can’t come with me”

“What? You’re forcing me out of this wagon?”

Benjen gulped, staring at her “Magna… you have to solve things with Yumiko”

“There is nothing to solve. Drop this subject, Benjen. I tried, alright?”

Her eyes begged him to stop pushing her, but he felt immensely conflicted, at the moment.

That was wrong.

It was wrong for Magna to leave, just like it was wrong for Yumiko to let her.

He couldn’t understand why they did not solve their problems, but he felt immensely responsible, at the same time.

As if they started to fight more and more, after they become friends with him.

“Magna, don’t do something you might regret”

“I do that all the time. Shut up, Benjen, or I swear I’ll shoot you”

The young man stared at her, sadly, then back at Yumiko.

He felt his own legs walking towards her, who observed him with trembling eyes.

“Yumiko… I don’t want this” he explained

“This is not your choice, Benjen” she said

“Are you letting her go?” He turned back, watching Luke and Connie approaching Magna, in the wagon, probably to try and talk her out of that foolishness, as well.

“Benjen, it is her choice to go. I cannot stop her”

“But…”

Yumiko interrupted him “I’m sorry if I was mean to you, before, Benjen. I was pissed and took it out on you. I am only thankful to you, for everything you’ve done here, for us. You’re a good man and a good friend”

“Miko…” he offered his hand for a handshake, but she pulled him into a hug

“Just keep her safe?” she whispered in his ear

“Miko don’t do this, don’t let her go…”

“Just promise?”

Benjen looked at her, before nodding “You are so complicated, it frustrates me”

“This is not your fault. I assure you” she explained

He sighed “You can still think about this…”

“So, let’s go?”

Both noticed Alicia next to them

Yumiko smiled at her “Thank you for everything, Alicia. You’re welcome back, if you want”

Alicia smiled, noticing Daryl and Michonne approaching again “As I said to them, I’m the one who’s grateful to you, guys.”

“I hope you find what you’re looking for” Yumiko said

Alicia then felt Connie approaching her for a goodbye hug – **Please be safe – **she showed her a note. Smiling, Alicia nodded “Thank you for everything, Connie”

**Thank you - **Connie gestured her, just before Judith ran to hug her, once again

"Goodbye, Alicia."

Alicia smiled at her "I'll miss you, Judes"

"I'll miss you too!"

Alicia smiled at her, them back at them, before staring at Benjen “Alright, let’s go, big guy”

Benjen smiled “Alright”

Once she turned, she found Eugene leaning against the wagen.

She didn’t question about Magna being in it, because she noticed Benjen talking to Yumiko about it and it seemed like a delicate subject.

“Thank you, Eugene” Alicia smirked, leaning to kiss his cheek

“Uh… well… uh…” He avoided her stare, surprised “You are very welcome indeed” he quickly took a few steps back to join the others, amusing Alicia.

She was almost jumping to the wagon when the familiar voice called her.

Turning to see Negan, she showed him a smile “Thought you didn’t want to say goodbye” she whispered

He leaned back, with a smirk “I’m fucking not” he turned to Daryl who threw a backpack at him.

She was surprised to see him approaching her, throwing the backpack to the wagon, as well.

“You thought you could fucking leave just like that and I’d fucking let you? Nah-nah…” he looked at her “I am fucking going with you, lady”

Alicia stared at him, shocked.

He smirked at her “I don’t have much shit keeping me here. I mean a few sorry shits now, sure… but you know, we both actually have a fucking thing or two in common”

“Well I hope you do not have a twin brother” Benjen spoke, already in the wagon

“Shut up, Hercules, you are usually so fucking quiet. Don’t you see we are having a fucking moment, here”

Alicia rolled her eyes “Negan, you do belong here. You’ve proven that. I don’t need to know what happened to know that”

Negan looked at her “Like you… I don’t belong anywhere.” He shrugged “I just fit… here and there”

The young lady stared at him, as he put his hand on her shoulder “I am fucking going with you” he then jumped to the wagon.

Her eyes looked back at everyone, who sadly smiled at her.

“Be safe” Daryl spoke

She nodded, waving at them “Open the gates!” she spoke, jumping inside the wagon, herself.

An unusual feeling of joy inside her.

There were good people, in this world too. People willing to help.

And the world needed more people like them.

“Let’s get the motherfucking beautiful twin sister, folks!” Negan exclaimed

“Really... I am already having second thoughts about this” Magna rolled her eyes

Alicia smiled, exchanging eyes with Benjen, who nodded at her, reassuringly.

It was going to be a fun journey.


	10. CHAPTER 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alicia, Benjen, Negan and Magna get used to each other and make plans for their journey.
> 
> Clarke and Lexa are unable to get of eachother's arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> Longer chapter, this time!
> 
> I hope you enjoy it! 
> 
> Please give me feedback! 
> 
> Carly*

Alicia was on the back of the wagon next to Magna, who hadn’t said a word ever since they left Hilltop. Negan was on the front seat, studying the maps, next to Benjen.

“So did you ever go there before? When you were making your way to Hilltop?” She heard Negan asking Benjen.

Negan seemed interested in discussing their journey to Polis with Benjen and Alicia appreciated it. At least they seemed to be getting along.

So far, she didn’t say a word about their plans. For some reason, she trusted Benjen with it. Besides, she also trusted Negan. She would intervene when necessary.

They had been riding for long hours, ever since they left Hilltop, and Benjen had already mentioned they should stop for a while so the horses could rest as well. She knew they were close, so she was already rationing the food for them.

Her eyes fell on Magna, once again, as she did so. Someone who didn’t know her would probably think she was just bored or pissed at something. But Alicia knew better. She wondered how bad the fight with Yumiko was for her to make this decision.

After all, she knew this was dangerous and, if she was to return, it could take her long months. It had been more than eight for Benjen and he was only starting the journey back, which would still take some more months.

She didn’t want to ask, though.

“Oh shit…”

She turned once she heard Negan’s voice. There were walkers nearby, she could tell. But Negan was cursing at the destroyed place they were supposed to use to stay overnight.

“It’s alright” Alicia spoke, observing the place. There was no way they could stay there “We ride for a little longer until we find a calmer place to camp. There are walkers nearby.”

Benjen nodded “I’ll stay on watch. Let’s go”

“Yeah we’ll make a fucking fire.” Negan stretched in his seat “Oh, I am hungry as fuck”

Alicia rolled her eyes “Once we stop, we can all eat”

It only took them a couple of more minutes until Benjen stopped the wagon. Negan immediately jumped out, observing the place “Let’s make a perimeter”

Alicia nodded, jumping out as well, but Benjen spoke, walking away “There is no need for that”

“Alright, big guy” He shrugged, approaching Alicia “You ok? You’ve been extra fucking quiet”

“No more quiet than her.” She spoke “It’s awkward but if we’re actually going to do this, we need to keep together”

Negan smiled at her “It’s gonna be a long fucking journey.” He glanced back “And I see a pretty fucking badass group here. So I say we got sweet fucking chances to get to you your long lost sis, uh”

Alicia smiled, looking down “I have to do this”

Negan nodded “Everyone is exactly where it’s supposed to. Don’t question people’s fucking decisions, lady. If I remember correctly, you get easily fucking pissed if people question yours, uh?”

She frowned “Shut up, I didn’t even say anything”

“You were just about to, uh?”

“Shut up, Negan” She rolled her eyes

“So, you know how to make a fucking fire?”

Alicia stared at him, almost wanting to punch him “Who do you take me for?”

He smirked, watching her walk away once she noticed Benjen had already collected some wood for a fire.

Benjen was worried with Magna, though. He was thankful Alicia and Negan handled the fire so he could get to her. He was not sure what to say, since Magna was always too edgy, particularly in those matters and mainly with Yumiko. So he touched her shoulder, making her look at him.

He knew she was sad, he could see it in her eyes. “You’re still in time to change your mind, Magna?”

She shocked her head “I made my decision.”

Benjen did not insist, so he showed her a small smile “Well, you always have me”

She showed him a sad smile and he noticed she was breaking in front of him, but she never allowed him to see that. She leaned to him, hiding her face in his chest. Benjen quickly moved his arms to involve her in a hug she desperately needed, he realized “Ai’s hir, ai lukot”

He felt her sighing against him, refusing to move so he wouldn’t see her. But Benjen moved his hands to her face, making her look at him. “I’m up here” he pulled her chin up so their eyes met. “You know that inner warrior I once told you I see in you?”

Magna sighed, and Benjen could swear he saw a small curve in her lips “Yes, well, if we’re going to make this journey, I’ll need that warrior”

He watched her as she nodded, but looked down once again, so he continued “Because I’m used to travel alone. I don’t like having a bunch of people constantly needing their asses saved”

Immediately, she reacted, punching his chest “Shut up. You’ve been hanging out with Negan only for a few hours and you’re already this sassy? Asshole…”

It amused Benjen, of course.

“Wow, I need to be careful, you may even become like him too, if you keep talking so much” He sarcastically spoke, able to pull a wider smile from her.

“Watcha fucking talking about me? I’m right fucking here” Negan spoke, from a small distance, already sitting near the fire they had just made.

Benjen smiled, motioning Magna to go so they could join the others.

Alicia observed them, contently. It amazed her how Benjen could be the big intimidating guy no one would want to mess with, but also the sweetest and most caring person. Definitely someone who you would always want to have around. He was quite perceptive as well, she noticed, and truly loyal to the ones he cared about, she was sure. And, despite being characteristically quiet, once he got more comfortable with the people around him, he opened up more. Still, he was pondered and would never say a word if he wasn’t sure he should.

She knew she had to reconsider her opinion since the way he acted with her, in the beginning, was due to the shocking news he wasn’t sure how to break to her. She still didn’t know how to deal with the fact he travelled around the word to actually find her. After all, what were the odds he would actually succeed? It didn’t surprise her he didn’t know how to approach her once he met her. She was sure he was giving up his mission when they accidentally and finally crossed paths.

“C’mon, eat”

She heard Negan’s words as they sat across them, taking the food. Magna leaned against Benjen’s chest as she ate. It was like she needed the contact and comfort of someone to just be there and not to judge her decisions.

“So, big guy… I say if we are really doing this shit, we should know more” Negan spoke “I mean, I have no fucking idea where I’m going.”

Benjen observed him, before turning to Alicia, as if asking for permission to share. But she thought Negan was totally right. Besides, she wanted to know more too. And she didn’t mind them to know the essentials. They were there to help, after all.

So she showed him a small smile “I think we all need to know what’s expecting us, uh?”

“Yeah, cuz I only know this lady has a fucking twin sis” Negan intervened again

Benjen nodded, taking yet another bite “Alright…” he took a few moments, as if wondering how he should start

Alicia tried to help him “You told me there are no walkers, there”

Negan frowned and, for her surprise, so did Magna “What?” they asked

Benjen looked down, then back at Negan and Alicia “The borders are too protected. The clans from all the borders do a good job at it”

Negan frowned “What about all the sorry shits who die inside? I mean, everyone fucking turns”

“Our tradition states that we shall puncture the back of the head to release the soul. It actually made sense to me once I left” he looked at them “Some people within the clans even believe walkers are a myth.”

Negan was surprised “That’s something I never thought I’d fucking hear.”

“There are twelve clans… the borders to each of them are highly defined and to step in silently is seen as a sign of disrespect. It creates conflict”

“So you are in constant fucking conflict”

Benjen nodded “There was always trouble… some clans more than others. But I can’t recall living a life with no conflict within the clans. Well, not for too long at least.”

“Where does her sister come in?” Magna asked

Alicia stared at her, she was surprised Magna didn’t know much. Her eyes fell on Benjen’s again, though, wanting to know, as well.

“My clan is Trikru. Just like Lexa’s”

“Lexa… your sis, so that’s her name” Negan affirmed

Benjen nodded “We grew up together. Lexa was sent to Polis still very young to be trained, alongside the other natblidas. I spent lots of time coming and going from TonDC to Polis, because of my father, as well. He started as a guard, there, but soon grew to be a trustworthy high ranking warrior.”

“Excuse my fucking french but, what the shit is a natblida?”

“Black blood” Alicia answered, already knowing that bit, but still struggling to believe.

Magna frowned “Now I remember why I never asked you much, all you say is weird as shit”

“I like that we finally fucking start to agree with each other, young lady” Negan smirked

“Well, you can see with your own eyes once we get there. It is true. Only natblidas can be commanders. Lexa became commander at the age of twelve”

Alicia stared at him, unsure if she heard him correctly.

“Twelve? Why?” Magna asked

“She was chosen.” Benjen explained

“Are you fucking kidding me? A child leading people? For real?”

“And she accepted it?” Alicia gulped

“She had no choice, Alicia” Benjen explained “She had to fight in the conclave. It was either that or death. She won all the fights”

Alicia was shocked, once again. She couldn’t exactly describe how she was feeling. She couldn’t explain the many feelings within her, at the moment.

She had been wondering how Lexa would react, once they met, after all she was the one taken from her family. Alicia was the lucky one, the one who got to grow up with a family, after all. So she wondered if Lexa would hate her for that, she wondered if she would hate their parents for never trying harder to know the truth. She thought maybe Lexa would believe Alicia had an easier life, even though she had no idea how it was out there, with the walking dead. However, being there, listening to Benjen talking about Lexa, she truly believed she was the lucky one.

She could only imagine how hard it was for her sister.

One thing she was sure, then, she was already too proud and still knew too little about Lexa.

“Lexa was the first commander bringing the twelve clans together. She formed a coalition. She brought them together to fight the mountain man, a hostile group that kidnaps and use our blood as medicine”

“Did you win?” Negan asked

“I don’t know… I hope so.” he replied, playing with a knife, nervously “I left…”

“Lemme tell ya, lady, your sis sounds like a total fucking badass. I mean… If I wasn’t sitting on the fucking floor my nutsack would literally fucking detach. Holy shit! She sounds fucking hot”

“Shut up, Negan” Alicia turned to Benjen, curious, prouder and prouder of Lexa “You mentioned she’s in danger? Is that why?”

Benjen nodded “Lexa’s a visionary… different from the other commanders. She’ll defy tradition if she thinks it’s the best to defend her people. I mean, no one was ever able to form this coalition before.” He explained “Still, it is dangerous. To be able to keep the clans united… you have to keep them in line and for that you also have to make sure they are pleased with your decisions. But Lexa is… Lexa” he sighed “Months ago a ship dropped into Trikru territory. A ship from the sky. There were lots of people. We now call them the Skikru. They have even better guns than yours, they possess good technological equipments. They explored our territory and started a conflict. We lost three hundred people in that battle”

Alicia, above them all, listened carefully to Benjen’s words as he continued “And now the conflict with the mountain men started she welcomed them as allies as well. People do not take that well. My father fears for that”

She nodded at him, understanding the conflict and fearing for her as well. She hoped they could return in time to be able to, somewhat, help.

“I mean…” Negan started “Are you fucking aware this conflict probably ended and… you know, a lot of shit might have happened already?”

Benjen nodded “Yes”

“Plus… how the fuck could Alicia help?” He raised his eyebrow

“My father told me the truth. Another man who mentored Lexa… Titus… he knew the truth as well. Lexa should know too. I mean… she has the right to know.” Benjen spoke

“Yes, she has” Alicia agreed

“What if she’s already gone?” Magna asked

“She isn’t” Benjen immediately said “She isn’t”

It was more than noticeable Benjen cared too much about Lexa. Alicia noticed his devotion for her and their people.

She understood she was going to a very dangerous place, then.

A place unlike everything she has ever seen her entire life.

“Rest now” Benjen spoke “I’ll be on watch”

“You need to rest, too” Alicia warned

He nodded at her “I’ll take a nap, later.”

***Arkadia***

“Here, this way…” Clarke held Lexa’s hand, pushing her through the desert halls of Arkadia. It was late in the night and they decided it would be the best chance of getting Lexa in without being seen. Both Raven and Bellamy were distracted the guards to make sure no one could possibly cross their way, after they left the secret path and walked towards Clarke’s room.

Lexa observed the place, absorbing as much as she could, given the fact the both were on full alert mode.

“We’re good now” Clarke pushed her into a room, locking the door behind them “No one will bother us now” She put the radio on, so she could warn the others “Guys I’m going to get some sleep now”

She knew they’d understand everything went as they planned and, that way, they wouldn’t take the risk of someone else accidentally falling into their channel and listening to the conversation.

“Alright, good, Clarke” Bellamy spoke, on the other side “Bellamy out”

Once Clarke put the radio down, she looked at Lexa, who was observing her room “Are you ok?”

Lexa turned to her, showing her a small smile “This is very you…”

Clarke smiled at her, approaching her as she wandered around “So you like it?”

The brunette did not reply.

Instead, her eyes discovered the open notebook, where she could see Clarke’s drawings. Her heart immediately skipped a beat, remembering their time back in Polis, when she found a drawing of herself, while sleeping.

“You are very talented, Clarke” she moved only a couple of pages until, once again, she saw drawings of herself.

Clarke was next to her, letting her observe the drawings. Once she lifted those green eyes to look at her, intensely, Clarke melted.

Everything still felt unreal.

“I…” Clarke breathed “I needed something more… something more than just your image in my mind”

Lexa felt her heart contorting, yet again. Instantly, she pulled Clarke into a hug, wanting to feel her close and wash all the pain away. The brunette felt her sighing against her, squeezing her and making sure to feel her, right there.

She then moved to cup her cheeks in her hands, her eyes deviating from the ocean watery eyes to the lips she longed for, all the time. Lexa licked her lips, but did not resist leaning into Clarke’s.

Her lips were soft yet her kiss was desperate. Her grip tightened against Lexa’s waist, pulling her even closer, if possible.

And Lexa loved it.

She couldn’t believe how lucky she got.

When both stopped for some air, Lexa stared at the breathless Clarke, already seduced.

“Do you ever think of that night?” Clarke asked

Lexa smiled “All the time”

The blonde showed her a smile “I just wished we did it sooner. We could have been so much more…”

“We are still on time for that.” Lexa spoke “Besides, I was waiting for you, I would have waited as long as you…”

Clarke quickly interrupted “Oh I was being an idiot. I fell for you long before I realized it"

Lexa gulped, overwhelmed with the information “Ai hod yu in, Klok. Hodnes ste mou yuj kom wamplei”

Clarke smiled “Ai hod yu in, Leksa.”

The blonde happily received Lexa’s lips on hers, once again. Only this time, it became more and more heated. She felt one of Lexa’s hands holding her waist as the other moved to her jaw, suddenly turning her face away to allow her a better access to her neck. It was as if Lexa already knew Clarke’s body way too well. As if the only short time they spent together was more than enough for the former commander to learn all that.

Clarke sighed “Lexa…”

The brunette was too lost on her lover, already. It had been a long time longing for her and now, being sure how mutual the feeling was, it was more than enough to encourage her.

Her lips were making wonders into Clarke’s sensitive neck spots “Think we can repeat that night?” She mumbled against her ear

“Oh…” Clarke moaned “You better not stop, right now.”

Lexa smirked, pulling her closer to be able to guide her to the bed, getting rid of her jacket and shirt, in the way. Once she pushed Clarke to lay on the bed, she never gave her the chance to get to her clothes. Instead, she entirely focused on Clarke, who became a whimpering mess as Lexa made sure to reach every inch of her skin.

The brunette made sure to tease her lover as her mouth fully explored her breasts, mainly focusing on her sensitive nipples, but she was growing way to eager and horny, herself.

After all, it had been way too long, for the both of them.

“God damn it, Lexa” Clarke whined, as Lexa patiently moved down her belly but seemed to ignore the blonde’s request and drew her focus on her thighs

Lexa smirked, but never replied. Instead, she used both her hands to open her lover’s legs wide open, giving her the perfect access. She could see her juices glowing, joining her impatient waist movements together with the perfect whimpers that drove the brunette crazy. So, she wasted no time in tasting her lover.

“Fuck!” Clarke’s back instantly arched, feeling Lexa’s talented tongue exploring all the extent of her genitalia a couple of times, before focusing on her clitoris, originating a louder moan from the blonde. Soon enough, the brunette added her fingers to what developed the best and most desperate orgasm Clarke ever remembered.

“Jeeesus, Lex…” Clarke breathed with her lips parted, eyes closed and head leaning back. Her hair was a mess and Lexa thought it was the best and sexiest sight in the world.

She smiled, kissing her way up the blonde’s body “All good, ai snogon?”

Clarke nodded, with a content smile, before pushing her lover for another kiss. Once she minimally recovered the feeling of pure bliss and found some strength, she turned them around so she hovered Lexa “Why on Earth are you still dressed, beautiful?”

The brunette smiled, feeling hornier than ever. Yet, as soon as Clarke’s hands found the tip of her shirt, her hands instinctively hovered hers.

“Hey…” Clarke whispered, understanding the brunette’s apprehension “Does it still hurt?”

Lexa looked at her “No… not much, but it’s…”

Clarke smiled “You are beautiful, Lex… There is no scar that could ever make you otherwise.”

The brunette hesitated, but eventually let her lover pull the shirt off. Her ocean eyes observed the still fresh and red, purplish scar. It was still a considerable size and it scared Clarke most of all. It was impressive how Lexa survived such thing. She showed her a smile, though, leaning to kiss the area “It will get better with time. It will become normal colored and not ache so bad”

Lexa looked at her, knowing Clarke wasn’t one to bother with her many scars. Yet, for some reason, this one was a large and very visible one. Plus, it was one that marked both of them, immensely “It doesn’t bother you?”

“Shhh don’t be silly, hot stuff” Clarke whispered, leaning up to kiss her again “You look perfect.” She said “So lemme please you, alright?” she leaned to Lexa’s hear “Cuz I really want to taste you right now…” 

Lexa sighed “Sha, ai snogon”

***A few days later***

“There is a fucking city nearby!” Negan exclaimed “We could check it out”

Benjen was checking the few walkers they had taken down a couple of minutes before, while the ladies were cleaning their weapons, near him.

“Cities are dangerous” Alicia spoke

“Oh, c’mon…” Negan protested.

Magna, on the other hand, approached him to take a look on the map “Why not?” She asked, after a while “Large places mean better chances to find useful stuff. And we will need more supplies, eventually”

Negan nodded “That’s exactly fucking right”

Benjen approached them as well “We should avoid cities”

Alicia nodded at him, supporting his words.

His caramel eyes observed her intensely, as both Magna and Negan continued their protest, behind him.

“Benjen, think about this… It will be just fine, we need to check it out” Magna spoke

“All the places around here are already scavenged” He insisted, finally moving to look at her “We’ll find better places to scavenge”

“Kid, c’mon, you can’t fucking know that, for sure”

Benjen’s eyes met Alicia, once again, as if wondering what the best move was.

Negan noticed it and didn’t seem to appreciate it.

“Alright, so let’s fucking clear this shit before more shit happens.” He stop between both Benjen and Alicia “There is no fucking leader here. We are a fucking badass group and we willingly came to help you”

“I need no help” Benjen directly spoke “I never asked any of you to come”

Negan frowned “Don’t fucking test me kid. See, I don’t fucking care about that shit. But I am here so I have a fucking say, so does she. We all make the fucking decision.”

“You need another person for that.” Alicia spoke “We can’t make a decision if there’s a draw in opinions”

“So we need another fucking member, yes. But this is fucking important and you are not denying it to us”

“Negan, Benjen never said he’s in charge. Nor did I.” Alicia moved between the men “We are a group, yes, and we all make decisions. I don’t know why this is going on”

“We don’t need more people. The fewer the better.” Benjen spoke “And I am just the guide here” he approached Negan “I hope you don’t need the guide to save your ass while you scavenge the bloody city”

“We shall see who’s fucking ass needs saving” Negan spoke

“Stop that shit and let’s go then, before he changes his mind again” Magna spoke

Alicia sighed “I do not like this”

Negan looked at her, with a smirk, as Benjen moved away, slightly pissed “So what? You both getting it on and I don’t fucking know it or what?”

Alicia frowned “You’re being a total ass, Negan” she approached him “This better go right or you can make your way back to Alexandria!”

Once she walked away from Negan, she walked towards the wagon and said no other word.

In fact, as they left and made their way towards the city in complete silence.

They agreed with Negan to leave the wagon in a strategic point and walk around the city, instead.

“I mean, I am not fucking leading here, either” He provoked, once again “I’m fucking done with that”

“He’s being an ass” Magna approached Alicia, surprising her “I mean, you know him better, but he’s just doing this so we get to scavenge this place”

“I know, but I feel like punching him. We need to be good with each other, not in this tension all the time” Alicia looked at her “It is not healthy and we still have a long way to go”

Magna nodded at her “We’ll be fine” she spoke, before attacking a walker. Alicia smiled at her, appreciating her gesture.

“I guess they started by the grocery store” Alicia glanced at Magna as both watched the men entering the place not far from their spot. They didn’t seem to be exchanging words but, at least, they stood together.

“What do you say we check the pharmacy?” Magna asked, noticing the place nearby.

“Sure” Alicia spoke, getting rid of the couple of walkers approaching her

The city wasn’t too big and the group didn’t take much time to scavenge everything. After Alicia and Magna went through a couple of places, they ended up meeting the men and all continued, together.

“So, something useful?” Alicia asked Negan, almost in a provocation, as she noticed he only carried a small bag.

“Better for you, I see” he commented

Alicia rolled her eyes “Still not worth the risk”

“We should check the police station before we leave” Negan said “Then I’ll fucking shut up”

Alicia’s eyes met Benjen, who avoided hers. She knew he was still angry and would rather not speak, so she respected that.

“Let’s go then” she spoke, wanting to end that, once and for all.

The four of them, then, entered the place. It was quite large for the small city, so that came as a surprise for them.

“They must have storage place. Probably with weapons” Magna spoke

“You would know, uh?” Negan smirked

Magna immediately turned to him “You really want me to answer that?” she threatened, tightening her grip in her weapon.

“Not at all, I am aware of all the shit I’ve fucking done” Negan spoke, but Alicia decided to intervene, wanting them to stop with the arguments, already.

“Found bullets, guy-oh!” Alicia was caught by surprise as the shelf where she got the items, which was positioned in front of a door, was taken down by a few walkers that forced their entrance. They were probably locked up there, before, but the door eventually gave in and the shelf wasn’t enough to hold them.

Benjen was next to her in a minute, taking down the dead.

However, they were all surprised by a larger number than expected.

“Shit” Magna quickly approached to help, followed by Negan. Alicia took a deep breath, gathering her strength to continue her fight, but already searching for a solution. She saw there was only another full and intact door behind them and there was no way she could guess if there were more roamers on the inside, but they had to take their chance. At least, they could get free from the walkers.

“Guys, in the back!”

Negan was the first to get there and opened the door, killing the few walkers there “It’s clear no, retreat”

“It’s only a matter of time until that door gives in as well.” Benjen spoke “We should fight these ones and leave”

“There are too many, Benjen” Alicia looked at him “C’mon, we’ll search for another exit”

“There is no exit, if we go in there. We’ll need to fight these ones, either way” He insisted

“Please Benjen” Magna took down a walker near him “We take a break and make a better plan”

Benjen frowned, taking three walkers at once “Fine, go” he spoke, soon following.

“Alright!” Negan closed the door “It should hold for a while until we fucking figure out another exit”

Magna nodded, opening the other closest door “This is the control room, too dark, but there's no way out from here, for sure”

Alicia observed as the only other door was an electric door with a small window, which was opened. She knew that, on the inside, it was probably a small place where they had a couple of cells for provisory detentions.

“I don’t think there is an exit here, either” she spoke, entering it to confirm her suspicions. There were, indeed, a couple of cells, but there was yet another room, probably destined to the watchman.

Magna followed her and, soon, the four were inside.

“Check it out,” Negan noticed the trapdoor of the watchmen's division. Once he opened, he found several guns and bullets “Aha! Found the fucking gold!” he turned to Alicia “Was it worth fucking it now?”

Alicia looked at him “Only when we get out of this place”

“We get out by fighting, out there”

“Well” Negan held the guns “We can, now”

However, for the surprise of them all, there was a clicking sound and, suddenly, the door and the gates from the cells immediately closed.

“What the fuck?” Negan’s eyes widened.

“What is this?” Benjen raised his voice, seeing himself locked up inside one of the cells.

He was inside, before the cells locked up.

Both Magna and Alicia looked at eachother, wondering if they had company “Are we not alone?” They heard Negan asking, but they decided to take a look through the small window of the locked door. The walkers were still on the other side of the door they left closed, but they could swear they could hear one, closer.

“The control room…” Magna said

Alicia stared at her. It was logical, it was the only room available to lock them up “But there was no one there”

“I didn’t see anyone but, I think the sound is coming from there”

“What is happening?!” Benjen asked, forcing the iron grids in front of him.

“The control room is able to lock these doors, Benjen.” Magna explained, but immediately got proof of her theory. Both ladies watched as a walker left that room.

“Shit!” Alicia cursed, kicking the door “We are locked up, here!”

Benjen frowned “How the hell is this possible?”

Magna turned to him, knowing he wasn’t familiar with technological things. “Benjen, back when the police station worked, they used these cells for provisory detentions. That control room is able to control everything from the lights, cameras and electronic doors. There was a walker in the room, he might have… fuck, how fucking lucky are we?” she turned to Alicia, who was also stressing. How on earth were they supposed to leave now? Benjen, who was the most likely to have a chance to take that door down, was locked inside the cell.

“Fuck…” Negan cursed “It doesn’t work if we shoot it?”

Alicia shocked her head “You can try, but I don’t think so”

“Skrish!” They jumped.

Benjen had just turned the small bed on the cell upside down, yelling. He then turned back, focusing on Negan. Approaching the grids, he pointed at him “What’s your great idea, now, smart guy? How long are we going to be locked up here? A day? A week? A month?!”

They were shocked. They never saw Benjen so angry, before.

“I had a damn task. To get Alicia back. Thank you so much for your service!”

Negan looked at him “Look, I’m sorry, we couldn’t fucking guess this was…”

“I told you this was dangerous! Things always happen!” Benjen yelled, he pulled his hands between the grids “You are lucky I can’t get my hands on you, right now.”

“Benjen…” Alicia approached him

But he ignored her, still unleashing his rage on Negan “Ai na frag yu op. Ai na frag yu op hir”

Alicia observed him, but reached for his arm “Benjen, hey…” She softly whispered, trying to calm him down.

Thankfully, he looked down at her “We will find a way” she smiled

He shocked his head “Moba, Alicia. Ai slip thru yu en Leksa, nodotaim”

The lady gulped, not understanding his words, yet getting fascinated by it. Plus, fascinated by his eyes and his concern.

She couldn’t be sure how to react to that, it was overwhelming.

“Hey…” she softly spoke, holding his hand, noticing the firm pulse, yet gentle touch “We will figure this out, nothing is over” she smiled at him “This is me, my entire life, alright? All I’ve done, ever, was to survive. And I am not about to give up now”

The young man stared at her, charmed. Her voice was the sweetest he’s heard, able to calm him down almost instantly. Her touch was soft and caring, able to seduce him, immediately. And her eyes, well, he could get lost in them forever.

“Sha, Alicia”

She smiled, even if her mind was still running the marathon.

How were they going to get through that?

“What the hell can we do, though?” Magna asked, also in fear.

_I have no idea._ Alicia thought.

***Arkadia***

“Oh!” Clarke let her body fall back into the bed “What is it that you say about my talent?” she breathed “Cuz I can say something about yours, Lex…”

Lexa smirked, next to her, supporting her weight on her elbow to look down at her lover.

Clarke looked up, noticing the fatigue, in her lover. Not that it wasn’t worth it, and she knew Lexa thought the same. But the blonde noticed her tiredness in the past few days. That wasn’t the same Lexa from before. The same agile, strong, tough and resistant commander. She tired more easily and seemed paler than before, once like that.

It worried Clarke.

“Are you ok?” she took her hands in her face

“What do you think, after this?” She leaned for a kiss

Clarke smiled against her “You know what I mean… I feel you more tired and it worries me”

“You know” she looked down at her “You can’t keep me locked up here, forever, Clarke…”

The blonde gulped, knowing they would reach that conversation, sooner or later.

“I-I can’t lose you again” Clarke whispered

“I am right here, Clarke. I don’t intend to go anywhere” she took her hand “But I need to train, I need to regain resistance, I need… I feel… weak”

“You are definitely not weak!” Clarke immediately sat on the bed “Anyone else would have died, with a shot like that. You cannot expect to be the same warrior just a couple of months after surviving it, Lexa”

The brunette frowned, as Clarke continued “I know how you feel and I know you are right… somewhat, at least, but you may never be the same… you have to accept this, Lex”

“Like hell I do” Lexa smirked at the blonde, knowing that to be the typical Clarke Griffin attitude.

“Lexa… I’m sorry” she leaned against her lover “I know I can’t keep you locked up here, just for myself. Though I like it”

Lexa smiled “I can’t complain, to be honest. But I… I need more. I need to feel better too”

Clarke sighed, knowing there was no way she could convince her otherwise. And she didn’t blame her. She understood it was probably too hard for her to feel her body weaker than it felt her entire life. She was sure Lexa would try hard to improve.

Plus, she knew she had to do something, as well.

Lexa was right, they could just leave, both of them, and try to make a happy life, away from everything and everyone. But they would never be able to do that to their people.

Despite everything, they were and would always be their people.

“I promise we’ll start planning tomorrow” she smiled “How does that sound?”

“Sounds like we should enjoy the time we have left without being bothered, then”

Clarke smiled at her.

_I love you so much. _


	11. CHAPTER 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alicia, Magna, Benjen and Negan get desperate as the days pass by and they have no solution to escape the police station. 
> 
> Clarke and Lexa struggle to accept the best plan to defeat the Ice Nation is also the most dangerous for both.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! 
> 
> Please, please give me feedback. 
> 
> I can't be sure if I should continue, even though I have plenty of the future already figured out.
> 
> I'm sorry for english/grammar mistakes. 
> 
> Carly*

Benjen felt the thick sweat drops in his face and body. He felt too hot and lacking oxygen.

He had searched for every possible weak spot in the walls.

He had kicked, punched and pushed, wishing for some luck… but there was none.

He felt way too tense and he hated that feeling.

It had been long hours ever since they got themselves locked in that police station. The night had passed by and it was yet another day… and there was no expectation that they could leave, whatsoever.

Negan was lying in a corner, unusually quiet, while Magna sat in yet another corner, too lost in her own thoughts.

Alicia, however, was sitting next to Benjen, on the other side of the grids.

_Please calm down. _She had told him. _Sit here, next to me._

And, like a lost puppy, he did as he was told. He sat down on the floor, leaning against the wall near the grids, as Alicia smiled at him, her hands on the grids. She wanted to know more about her sister and, obviously, she was trying to calm the raging beast.

Of course, all the noise he made was enough to call the walkers attention. And that small herd they were able to lock in the first room broke the door and there were already many walkers near them. The only thing separating them was the electric door that locked them up. They could see the roamers through the small window on the door, but had no interest in taking them down. After all, besides having to waste bullets, what was the point? They were still locked up there.

_Just tell me how is she like?_ Alicia had asked him.

_The most compassionate human being I’ve ever met_. Benjen told her, with a sad smile, leaning his head back against the wall. Alicia knew he was tired. He had barely slept ever since they left Hilltop, because he felt the need to be on watch and make sure they were all safe. Yet, she listened to every word he said about Lexa, until he couldn’t bear with the weight in his eyes. She couldn’t help but wanting to know as much as she could.

“I am sure she is very proud of you, too, Benjen” Alicia whispered softly, after a while, watching him close his eyes, yet shocking his head.

“I don’t even know what excuse my father used, after I left… She may very well hate me for leaving in such a troubled time” he mumbled

“I’m sure she does not, Benjen” she whispered “You need to be more proud of yourself, as well, you know.”

She watched as his caramel eyes opened, to look at her. “You’re a good man”

Benjen gulped, appreciating her words way more than he should have. After all he couldn’t explain why the fact Alicia saw him as a good person meant so much to him. But it did.

He showed her a smile, already too sleepy “Yu laik krei meizen, ai haiheda”

Alicia frowned, yet smiled at him. She found him adorable and she appreciated his efforts and his loyalty to her sister. Plus, she couldn’t deny her interest for this language.

“I want to learn that language” She affirmed, unsure if he heard her.

But he did “Sha, Alicia”

“I take it that means yes” she smiled, but decided to let him have some rest.

Her eyes observed the others, in distress. Talking to Benjen about her sister and their _world _always helped her mind divert into something that’s not so stressful. And it also seemed to calm Benjen down, a lot.

But, in the end, they were still locked up, with no way out.

That was pretty visible in the face of the others.

While Negan said no word and still sat in the furthest corner, Magna was closer, with an expression that showed a lot more than distress.

“Hey…” Alicia sat next to her, unsure of what to say. To her surprise, it was Magna who spoke

“Benjen was right… we shouldn’t have come. He is always right in this shit. I’m sorry”

“No, no…” Alicia softly said “It is not your fault. It is not Negan’s fault.” She explained “You were trying to help… and well, you were not wrong, we do need supplies”

“Well, we found basically zero”

“That doesn’t matter right now. It is not your fault” Alicia insisted “I’m sure he doesn’t blame you or Negan either. He was just nervous”

“Well, he was right. We can’t leave this cage and you don’t get to meet your sis” Magna looked at her

“I’ve been locked before… with no big expectations too” Alicia smiled, trying to be positive for them

“What happened?”

Alicia gulped “Well… I had many people with me. I was in a small community and we had to lock ourselves in a cave, because there was a huge herd outside. But we were running out of oxygen inside, too”

Magna stared at her as she continued “We had to take out the already bitten, try to spare as much oxygen as possible. But people were afraid. And fear influences people’s decisions.”

“Some didn’t say they were bit” Magna affirmed

Alicia nodded “It was hell…”

“What did you do?”

Alicia hesitated

"I... I killed them all…”

Magna looked at her, gulping.

“So… given the circumstances, I still have hope. Do you?”

Magna showed her a small smile “I’m sorry we got off on the wrong foot”

Alicia smiled “I’m sorry, too.”

Magna looked at her hand as she played with a knife. The other lady observed her. Despite not knowing her too well, she could guess what was on her mind.

“There is something else bothering you more than this, isn’t it?”

Magna avoided Alicia’s eyes, but didn’t disagree.

“Magna…” Alicia touched her arm, so she would look at her “… we are getting out of this place. Whatever there is on your mind, you will have the chance to go out there and fix it”

The words seemed to hit Magna harder than she expected. She looked up, gulping, not wanting Alicia too see her that way.

“I shouldn’t be here” she whispered. Alicia observed her as she continued “I should… I shouldn’t have left her”

“Then, when we’re out of here, you get one of the horses and go back to her. How does that sound?”

“How the hell are we going to leave here, Alicia?” Magna looked at her, with tears in her eyes “Only if someone comes to open this fucking door. And, seriously, what are the chances?”

Alicia stared at her. Of course, she had no answer to that.

She could only hope.

“We can only hope, Magna…”

***Arkadia***

“I talked to Bellamy… we’ll reunite tonight with Kane and my mother, and only a few friends I know won’t cause trouble”

Lexa did not turn as she listened to her lover’s words, behind her

“I still want few to know about you” she approached her, from behind, putting her arms around her “You know I love to see you in my clothes”

The brunette smiled, turning around to face the blonde. She had little belongings now. After being sent to Eden and surviving, she had nothing. Even the clothes she had before were some Thia had gotten for her.

“Are you ok?” She asked the blonde, who was staring at her as if still unsure about revealing Lexa to everyone.

The former commander, of course, knew Clarke was too good at planning. She was aware the blonde would be able to come up with a good plan for them to face the entire situation with Azgeda, at the moment. But both also knew that Lexa could be an important part of a successful plan with lesser casualties. Besides, her experience and knowledge of all clans was useful. And that was exactly what they all wanted, to end the fighting once and for all and to not lose more people.

Yet she knew all her hesitation was because of her. And she wasn’t sure how to deal with it. Plus, all she wanted was to also make sure Clarke remained safe, as well.

“I’m fine…” she leaned to kiss Lexa “Just want to make sure I keep you close”

Lexa smiled “Clarke… you are everything I have now”

The blonde watched as Lexa took a sit, feeling a sudden knot in her throat. “I’m so sorry, Lex…” she sat on her lap, playing with her hair “I don’t think I ever asked you about your parents?”

“I never met them. I’m not even sure of who they were or which clan they were from. Gustus always took care of me and then, when I was still too young and sent to Polis, Titus also took care of me” Lexa explained “Both were the closest to a father figure I can think of”

Clarke looked at her “So, there is no one else you consider family that might still be around?”

Lexa observed her lover, sadly. “I never made many friends.” She explained “Anya meant a lot to me and taught me so much, but she’s gone. Costia, Titus, Gustus, Benjen… even all the natblidas…” Lexa hesitated, as Clarke pulled her to another hug

“I’m really sorry, Lex…” Clarke whispered

“You are the only one I have, Clarke”

The blonde leaned against her “I’m right here” she whispered, thinking of her words. “Who was Benjen? I don’t think you ever told me about him?”

“Benjen was Gustus’ son. We grew up together, he was like a brother to me”

Clarke smiled “What happened? I never met him”

Lexa shocked her head “Gustus told me he was gone. Around the time we first met and were planning to take Mount Weather” she gulped “I never saw a body though and… at the time there were so many things happening at once I never had the time to…” she stopped herself

“You don’t know what happened to him, then” Clarke affirmed

“All I know is that Benjen was the best warrior I’ve ever seen. And it is too hard for me to process all this. Something just… doesn’t feel right”

Clarke kissed her hand “You are the best warrior I know. And I almost lost you with a fucking stray bullet.” She cursed “There are many things that do not feel right, Lex. I’m really sorry about Benjen”

The brunette held her lover’s hand tightly, as Clarke continued “You still have me. And we’re going to end this. Then no one will dare bothering us”

Lexa smiled “I’d very much like that”

***Hours later***

“What is the purpose of this meeting, after all?” Abby asked, sitting next to Kane, who curiously looked at Bellamy, who made sure all the accesses were locked.

Then, he put the radio to his lips “Clarke, all clear”

_“Here’s Raven, all clear”_ Raven’s voice was heard _“I’m heading towards rendevouz”_

_“This is Clarke, I’m going too” _

“What is this, Bellamy?” It was Kane who spoke, now.

The young man stared at both, then at Monty, Harper, Miller and, surprisingly, Murphy.

“There is a way we might consider to have advantage in this war. But we need to keep it quiet” he explained, then turned to look at the door as Raven entered the room “Lock the door after Clarke comes in”

Raven nodded “Hey guys” she smiled

“Clarke has been locking herself in her room again. What is she…”

Raven smirked, interrupting her “I bet she is, now”

“What?” Abby raised an eyebrow

“Hey!” Clarke greeted, pushing Lexa inside the room, as Raven rushed to lock the access.

“Holy shit…” Murphy spoke

Both Kane and Abby were on their feet as the others stood perplexed, while recognizing Lexa, standing in front of them.

“Greetings to all…” Lexa spoke

“Lexa?!” Kane was shocked, taking a step forward to her “You’re alive?” he showed her a genuine smile

She nodded, observing everyone else. Clarke immediately stood next to her, with a smile “Lexa was taken to Eden when everyone thought she was dead. She made it, though…”

Abby smiled widely “I am so happy you are alive…” she approached Lexa “I have no idea what this silly miss was going to do, for real…”

Lexa smiled at her, then at Clarke, but said no word.

“Are you alright? Do you need something?” Kane thoughtfully asked

“I’m fine…”

“She’s recovering well” Clarke explained “Lexa woke up a few weeks ago and has been trying to recover since then. But Eden was attacked”

Lexa nodded “I’m here to help”

“This is awesome. I mean…” Murphy spoke “You get the flame back, we get the commander back, end of war”

“Not so easily, there, Murphy.” Clarke immediately spoke “We are not risking Lexa again”

Both Kane and Abby stared at the blonde, understanding her fear.

“Of course” Kane spoke “You will be an excellent help, Lexa. You will indeed, end this war. But Clarke is right, we will not risk your life again” he turned to everyone “So we have to plan this carefully”

Clarke smiled “That’s why we are here. I don’t want anyone spreading the news on Lexa, for now. Let’s do all the planning and act as much as we can without spreading that word.”

Everyone looked at her, perplexed.

“I can trust you with this, right? Please?”

They nodded “Of course, Clarke.”

“So, what will we do?” Murphy asked “If she’s the one who can spare this war but we won’t use her”

“Don’t talk about me as if I’m not here” Lexa immediately spoke, not appreciating his words “Do you have a problem?”

Murphy looked at her “I mean, no? I just want to know what we’ll do”

Clarke looked at Lexa “We were trying to do the same as Azgeda and try to make allies.”

Lexa nodded, stepping up to the table. It was stronger than her, all the mannerisms she acquired during the years, as the commander. Clarke smiled, feeling her heart tightening at the sight. She couldn’t deny she loved Lexa’s dominant behavior, even if unconscious on her behalf. She was too good and experienced in these kind of situations and they all needed her probably more than they knew.

Clarke was still panicked, though.

But she knew they had to fight that war and they needed to do it together. They needed Lexa for it.

And they couldn’t keep Lexa hidden for long, if they were to succeed.

“What is the current situation?” Lexa asked

“They have many clans on their side already” Kane spoke “We are trying but… they have a tremendous army. People fear an alliance with us”

“Of course they do” Lexa explained “But an alliance out of fear is easy to break, as well. And many are only joining Azgeda because they fear for their lives”

Kane nodded “So what is your idea?”

Abby smirked “What about a rumour?”

Clarke looked at her mother, like everyone else did.

Abby shrugged “Well, we don’t need to show Lexa to the clans, but maybe if we spread rumors out there. Or even create some credible scenarios…”

“People may believe she’s alive and out there and may be joining us” Kane continued

“Why would they join us based on that?” Miller asked “Lexa is from Trikru”

“Because everyone knew Lexa wanted the coalition with us. And there was always trouble with Azgeda” Bellamy explained

Clarke stared at them, then at her lover. It wasn’t the perfect idea, at least, no in her mind. But she would hold onto it, if it meant Lexa would be staying safe with her, for some more time.

Maybe, who knew, it could even work.

Lexa’s eyes locked with hers and she was sure the brunette was thinking something similar.

Both were aware there could be a better plan.

And Clarke was relieved Lexa wasn’t going against her wishes, at the moment. Yet, she also knew that was because she assured her both would stick together and safe.

But the time when they would have to risk their lives again, for their people, would soon come.

***Two days later***

Alicia was fighting her own eyes, who desperately wanted to take a nap. Exhaustion was taking over her, being the only one in the room who hasn’t taken a single nap ever since they got locked up in the police station, three days before.

Besides, having absolutely nothing to do, didn’t help at all.

She couldn’t explain why, but she felt she was the only one able to soothe the mood in there. For some reason, she knew either Negan, Magna or Benjen could easily lose their tempers and not be reasonable with each other’s, in a time like that.

Well, the young lady knew she had her moments as well, but at the time she thought it would be best to stay awake and try to keep everyone in peace with each other.

“I’m sorry, miss”

Negan’s deep voice called her back to reality, when she was, again, about to give in to her tiredness.

She had tried to talk to him before, as well, but he didn’t seem to be in the mood to conversations.

His hand was playing with her hair, and her exhausted eyes turned to stare at him “What for?”

Negan showed her a smile “Being a fucking asshole”

Alicia smiled “You are very aware of who you are Negan. Why are you apologizing now?”

He shrugged “Obvious, aint it?” he whispered “Me, the asshole, fucking dragged you all into this shit. Now what? We’re fucking locked up and I don’t fucking hold high hopes”

“This is not your fault, Negan. This happened… no one could guess what would’ve happened if we didn’t. No one can guess what else might happen if we continue this journey.” She whispered “Shit happens”

He smiled “You’re fucking special, miss” 

Alicia showed him a smile, as he continued “I don’t fucking intend to create shit. I want to be fucking helpful”

“I know, Negan” she whispered

“You need to sleep” he pushed her so she could lay against his chest “I promise I won’t do shit. I’ll be quiet as fuck, won’t take a fucking sneak peek or wander…”

“Just shut up, Negan” Alicia sighed, leaning against him, comfortably, unable to fight her exhaustion anymore “And please be quiet, I want no uproar between any of you…”

“You can sleep, I won’t do shit I fucking promise”

“Mhm…” she mumbled

“And I’ll get shit solved with your big guy too” He whispered, unsure if she listened to him.

She had already fallen into a deep sleep.

It was a couple of hours later that they started listening to unusual noises. The only noise, in the past days, was from the walkers on the other side of the electric door.

“Guys?” Negan was unsure if he was hallucinating.

Alicia was still sleeping peacefully against him.

Magna immediately became alert and Benjen was tightening his grip around the grids, trying to concentrate

“Am I the only one listening to some diferent fucking shit?” Negan asked, caressing Alicia’s face so she would wake up.

“No…” Benjen stated “I think someone is near”

Magna’s eyes widened “Well, let’s make some noise then!”

“Waz going on?” Alicia rubbed her eyes

“Some motherfucker might be around” Negan explained.

As soon as Alicia processed the words, she jumped “What?”

“I think so, too!” Magna excitedly said

“HEY!” Alicia immediately yelled at the small window of the electric door.

“HEEEY!” Magna yelled as well.

Benjen used his sword to make some noise on the grids and Negan was already loading the guns.

“Let’s take some fuckers down, if some fucker is really around they’ll fucking hear, but we’ll still need to take these sorry shits down"

Alicia nodded, quickly grabbing a gun to start firing at the walkers, on the other side of the window.

“HEEEY! HEEELP!” She yelled, as she took some shots against the now accumulating walkers, at the door.

And, indeed, after a while, they were able to listen to the noises of someone approaching. Whoever it was, probably got into a fight with the probable walkers at the entrance.

“Please let it be someone reasonable” Magna whispered

Alicia nodded at her “Whoever it is, we’ll handle. It’s better than being locked up here, right?!”

“Definitely” Magna took the gun from her so Alicia could take a break. After all, they couldn’t do much more from that small window. “I swear there weren’t so many just an hour ago”

Alicia smiled at her, feeling the excitement growing.

Finally, they would probably be able to leave that place.

It didn’t take a long time for the noises to grow louder and, soon, the door from the other end of the hall violently opened up, revealling a very familiar figure fighting the walkers around her.

“Oh…” Magna suddenly stopped, recognizing her lover immediately, on the other end of the hall “Oh… holy… Miko! MIKO!”

Alicia tried to take a look but Magna quickly fired with more excitement, covering who she guessed to be Yumiko, on the other side. She smiled widely at her reaction, feeling her heart swelling. She turned to look at the curious Benjen, who wasn’t sure if he heard correctly or not.

“It is Yumiko” Alicia smiled, approaching him “We are leaving this place”

Benjen showed her a wide smile, his forehead leaning against the grids. He closed his eyes in relief as he extended his hand for her, between the grids.

Alicia took it and felt him pulling her against the grids as well, only to kiss her forehead “Our journey continues, then”

She gulped, staring up at him, feeling the warmness his body irradiated on her own and the inexplicable jitters throughout her guts.

“Yes,” she bit her lip “no need for despair”

“You’re right.” He nodded “You tend to be right, most times”

She chuckled at his words “Always!”

“Miko! There’s a control room at your right!” Magna explained, loading the gun as Yumiko faced the walkers alone “We are locked up. Go there and unlock the doors!”

Alicia approached her again, just like Negan, who seemed more than relieved they finally had some miraculous help.

“See? Told you we would make it” Alicia grabbed her hand “Plus, do you see? That’s your girl right there.”

Magna gulped at her “Yes…” her voice almost failed her “She came…”

Alicia smiled at her as everyone heard the click of the doors unlocking “Make sure not to let her go, this time”

Magna nodded, hurrying to hug Alicia “Thank you” she whispered in her ear, before storming out the room and into Yumiko’s arms.

Benjen was also faster than her to run out the door and attack the remaining walkers, followed by her and Negan.

Magna, however, didn’t care about the dead. Her legs ran right towards the control room, giving Yumiko little time to react, once she saw her.

“Miko!” Her arms surrounded her lover in a desperately tight hug

Yumiko smiled, sighing in relief.

She had been desperately trying to find them, for the past several days.

And now, seeing them, seeing Magna safe and holding her as if there was no tomorrow, it filled her heart with the love and comfort she needed so bad.

“I’m sorry” Magna whispered, hiding her face in the crook of her neck.

“I’m sorry, too” Yumiko cupped her cheeks, making her look her in the eyes “Are you ok?”

Magna smiled widely, something Yumiko rarely saw, particularly in the past times “I couldn’t be better, right now” she leaned to kiss her lover, who gladly welcomed her.

She held Magna close, sighing once again, kissing her back desperately.

They would figure things out.

As long as they remained together.

Yes, they would be alright.


	12. CHAPTER 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone questions Clarke's plan, knowing there were better and faster ways to act on the current conflict with the Ice Nation.
> 
> Meanwhile, Magna and Yumiko reunite and Alicia and Benjen grow closer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> Please give me feedback!
> 
> Hope you enjoy this chapter!
> 
> Carly*

“The place is clear, lovebirds” Alicia spoke, peaking at Magna and Yumiko, who were still in the control room

Magna smiled back at her “Let’s go outside, then, I need fresh air”

Yumiko nodded, yet pushed her lover to one more kiss “I want us to be alright” she whispered, watching Alicia leave.

“Me too… you want to go back to Hilltop?”

Yumiko smiled “We can discuss if we want to return, later. I came for you, but it doesn’t mean we cannot end this journey together”

Magna smiled, as she continued “It’ll be fun”

“I really wasn’t expecting this…you.”

Yumiko smiled at her lover “I couldn’t just let you come and do all your shit by yourself, could I? I mean I can’t be sure if you noticed but you do have a slight magnet to trouble” She pointed at the cells “You literally got yourself locked back in a cell. What? You were missing those times?”

Magna chuckled, looking down “That didn’t even cross my mind, actually”

Yumiko raised her eyebrow, as Magna continued “I just thought I’d never see you again” she grabbed her hands “And yeah… you’re my sanity”

“Magna…” Yumiko pulled her to yet another tight hug “We are never going different ways, again”

“Good. I’m sorry”

“I’m sorry, too” Yumiko kissed her “Now… now let’s face the fucking world together”

Alicia was wandering around, outside the police station, as she waited for both Yumiko and Magna to come out. She had cleaned most of the blood on her and her weapons, just like both Negan and Benjen, who were now talking.

The young lady decided to give them space, though, knowing they had to solve things out for themselves. It didn’t worry her, though. She knew Negan was remorseful about what happened, but also knew Benjen wouldn’t blame him, in the end. The young man was only frustrated and took his rage out on Negan.

“Alicia”

She turned to see the smiling couple leaving the police station, immediately able to get a smile from her “Hey, you…” she approached them, giving Yumiko a hug “Thank God you showed up, Yumiko”

She smiled “I noticed, there was no way out from those cells”

Alicia nodded “You’re right. You saved us”

“Miko!”

The ladies turned to see Benjen approaching, with a smile on his face “Mochof. Yu don’s mou sisfou kom yu na vout in”

“What the fuck did you just say?” Negan asked out loud

Yumiko laughed, though, throwing her arms around Benjen “Who cares, I know what he meant”

Benjen smiled down at her “I was desperate, in there”

She smiled “I’m glad I found you”

“Trust me, we all are fucking glad you showed up” Negan smiled at Yumiko, who nodded at him

“How did you find us?” Alicia asked

“I left Hilltop only a couple of days after you…” She glanced at Magna “I tried to follow your path, though I couldn’t be sure, I tried” she then turned to Benjen “You’ve taught me a thing or too, so I tried to follow what I believed you would do”

Benjen smiled “Then how did you end up checking this town?”

“Oh… well, I thought it was worth a shot. I was sure Magna would convince you to scavenge this place. Then, well, once I was here, it wasn’t that hard and soon enough I heard you”

Magna smirked, yet said no word.

“Damn fucking right” Negan grinned “So let’s all be fucking thankful you know Magna so fucking well”

“Yeah, like this wasn’t your idea, as well” Benjen immediately said

“I said I’m fucking sorry” Negan replied

“I heard that. So let’s not make the same mistakes again.” Benjen spoke “Nou nodotaim nowe”

“”Is that even a fucking real language?” Negan asked

“Yes it is” Magna quickly spoke “I know it is”

“I love it” Alicia smiled

Benjen turned to her, gulping. He hadn’t forgotten she mentioned she wanted to learn it. “Mochof”

The young lady smiled at him, before turning to Yumiko, once again “So I think we can dismiss one of the horses for you, if you want to. I mean, that is if nothing happened. We need to check it out”

“What for?” Yumiko asked “We are not returning to Hilltop. At least not before finishing this. I think I am quite needed, here”

Negan smirked “The fifth element! For fucking sure!”

Alicia nodded “I’m glad, Yumiko”

“Alicia made a good point. Let’s hope our things are still there…” Benjen spoke, suddenly worried.

“I’m fucking thirsty” Negan complained, as they returned.

“I don’t recall seeing something of use, guys, and I definitely didn’t see the wagon” Yumiko explained

“Fuck, don’t you say that…” Magna spoke, as they hurried back to the place they left the wagon.

“That’s because there’s no wagon…” Alicia mumbled, a few feet further and already spotting something

“What?” Benjen sighed, in frustration, also noticing the scenario.

No one had stolen anything.

Yet, the horses were dead and the wagon destroyed.

The walkers had destroyed everything.

“Shit” Magna cursed

“C’mon, we can still make use of some shit” Negan approached the place “The dead don’t fucking care about our food”

Alicia nodded at Negan, then turned to Benjen. Her eyes involuntarily caught the sight of his well-defined biceps showing, as he clenched his fists. She then observed him, as he closed his eyes, knowing he was growing more and more desperate.

Nothing seemed to be peaceful.

“We’ll find a way.” She approached him “It’s ok”

He turned to her “It almost feels like the journey back is cursed”

“It is not, Benjen. Things will get better” Alicia assured him “Plus, we have Yumiko to help us, now, as well”

“I appreciate all the help, but the less the better” he looked down at her.

“Hey… you’re not giving up now, are you?”

He frowned “No”

“Then cheer up, big guy” She smiled at him “Let’s face what’s to come”

He hesitated, his caramel eyes plunged into her very green ones. He appreciated her words, and, even if he didn’t feel so hopeful, there was something in her that seemed to give him the strength he needed.

“You’re right, Alicia”

***Arkadia***

“Do you think people will want to join us?” Monty asked Clarke.

The blonde had been spending more time with the rest of the group, as they started to put their plans into action. She was growing more and more frustrated, since everyone believed showing Lexa to the world right away would be the best solution.

“Many people had faith in Lexa, Monty. If we give them hope, at least they won’t join Azgeda. They know Lexa joined us into her coalition”

He nodded at her “We could always try and create some video footage. Of her. You guys could show them around”

“That would be perfect!” she exclaimed “Images where they couldn’t guess where she is.”

“It would have to be out there, in the woods. But I might be able to come up with something”

Clarke smiled at him “Thank you, Monty” she hugged him

“What’s up?” Bellamy approached them, alongside Kane and Abby

“Monty had a great idea. He’ll create a video footage of Lexa so you can convince people she’s alive” Clarke excitedly spoke

“But she is alive, indeed” Abby spoke

Clarke sighed “Mom… I tried to explain it…”

“Clarke…” Bellamy intervened “This is basically the same, you know? What’s the difference, anyway?”

The blonde frowned “They’ll never know where she is and they’ll never see her. She’ll be safe, here”

Kane looked at the group, trying to be comprehensive “Well, if we delay the Ice Nation attack as long as possible, until we are ready, there is no problem in acting this way”

Clarke turned to Kane “Azgeda will not attack if they know we are growing. That’s why we need to hurry and get allies. They will join us, after the news on Lexa”

Bellamy sighed “Alright, Monty, how fast can you work on that?”

Abby pushed her daughter to talk to her privately, while the men stood behind, discussing the details.

“You know, Bellamy is right. This is all in vain, Clarke.” She spoke “I know how much you care for her, but we can stop this war today, if we want to”

The blonde frowned “I am not losing her again, mom. I know you’re right, ok? Lexa knows it too, but she’s doing this for me. This is exactly why I don’t want to tell the others, here, about her. You would just throw her back to the lion’s cage!”

Abby observed her daughter “Honey… I don’t think Lexa is the kind of person who you can lock in your room for a long time”

Clarke looked at her mother, knowing she was right. Yet she also knew Lexa was making an effort and was still trying to fully recover. The blonde knew that once Lexa felt better, fully capable of going to war, things would have to change.

Yet, maybe that was the time they needed.

Maybe that time would be enough for them to plan their move.

And no one seemed to be considering it. Everything they saw was a faster way to end the war, if they just_ delivered_ Lexa back to the world.

“This is the way we can act, now. I don’t care if you don’t like it. Guess what? She is your best solution” she snapped, her tone raising “Until very recently we were all doomed and now we have a chance. So don’t try to force her, or me.”

By then, she had caught the attention of everyone in the room.

“Hey, Clarke” Raven quickly approached her “Calm down, we are all doing exactly as planned”

“Well, good! Because if anyone keeps on giving me this –_there’s a better plan_\- conversation, I will take Lexa miles away from here and leave you all to be _fucking _doomed again!” she breathed, watching everyone in shock at her choice of words “I am trying to keep everyone safe here, but guess what? If any of you just try to think of a way to put Lexa in danger without sharing it first, you’ll be responsible for the end of Arkadia.”

She observed her mother looking at her, in shock “Clarke…”

“I mean it, mother” she frowned, turning away to leave to her room.

She could feel her fast heartbeat, as she moved. Her mother meant well, she was aware, but everyone in the past days had been having the same conversation and she was tired of all that.

She knew Lexa would be waiting for her in their room, as usual. There were a few times she was able to take Lexa out, particularly at night, so she could also help and give her own advice. However, most of the time she remained in their room.

Once the blonde entered the place, her eyes immediately caught Lexa working out, on the floor, with a diminished outfit, emphasizing her toned body, tanned and sweaty, moving at the perfect pace to get Clarke to erase all her thoughts.

“Breathe” she heard Lexa’s voice. She might have noticed her stress as she entered the room “Who got into your nerves, this time?”

The blonde, however, licked her lips, just staring at her lover.

Of course, it was not the first time she had seen Lexa that way. In fact, the brunette spent all days exercising, lately. Yet, she always seemed to pull this reaction out of Clarke.

After all, Lexa looked stunning in Clarke’s eyes.

“Clarke?” Lexa paused for a moment, to look at her lover.

“My mother…” Clarke breathed, as Lexa laid on the floor, taking a break from her sit ups and crunches.

“What did she say?”

The blonde moved forward to Lexa, surprising her as she straddled her “Oh never mind, just kiss me right now”

The brunette smiled, raising a hand to play with her hair, before she leaned for a kiss “Yu laik thosti, ai snogon?”

“I am always thirsty, for you” Clarke mumbled, against her lips, moaning as Lexa skillfully flipped them around so she was on top.

“Let’s relax you, then…” The former commander whispered in Clarke’s ear, now more than aware of her effect on the blonde and how reciprocal it was.

***A few days later***

“Noun a kom au!”

“Indra, this is true” Kane patiently said, observing Indra pacing forwards and backwards “We need to stand against the Ice Nation. Together we can defeat them”

“Heda kiken” She stared at him

Kane smiled “Please, Indra? We need as many as we can, on our side”

“We will help.”

The man was surprised to see Octavia approaching them. Her tone was serious and she seemed so determined and intimidating, no one would dare to ask her many questions.

He smiled at her, though “We’ve been worried, Octavia. Your brother didn’t return so happy, the last time he came here”

“I don’t care” she quickly said “How many do you have with you?”

“Only a few. But the news on Lexa are spreading and people are hopeful, now”

Indra took a step forward “Ait, Marcus Kane kom Skikru” she spoke “Azgeda is going to attack soon. If they know you have a chance to retaliate, they will retreat to make a new plan. So we will help you get more people on your side. Even if the clans pledged an alliance with Azgeda, many people will still want to follow Lexa kom Trikru”

“No clan pledged loyalty. They just fear for their lives” Octavia spoke, turning to Kane “Is there something you’re not telling us, though?”

Kane looked at her “Octavia, I wouldn’t play games in such times”

“You have images of Lexa and you’re trying to convince me you didn’t go after her? Where’s Clarke?”

“Back in Arkadia”

“Really?”

“Octavia, Clarke is in danger, as well. The Ice Nation are not very fond of her, and you know it. We are not allowing Clarke to leave Arkadia”

Octavia smirked “And since when do you get Clarke to do what you want?”

Kane was surprised with her insight. Yet, he knew he shouldn't.

“Plus, with Lexa around? Something is not right.”

“Please, ladies” Kane stared at her “Can we just agree we have a common enemy, for now?”

The young lady stared at him, then glanced at Indra, who nodded at her. She decided what she knew was enough, for now, but she was sure there was more to their story. And she even had a few guesses, but didn’t push Kane.

“Ait, oso throu daun ogeda”

Marcus Kane smiled at them.

Maybe it wasn’t, indeed, the perfect plan.

But it was working so far.

***Arkadia***

Clarke was sitting on the bed, drawing a sleeping Lexa, once again. She would never get tired of that, she could stay like that forever.

Plus, observing her lover as she slept, so peacefully, couldn’t make her any happier.

Her plan, despite everything, was working and the number of people willing to join them was growing every day. She knew it was a matter of time until the Ice Nation, aware of the current situation, took more caution on their actions and that would only give them more time.

Clarke was also aware of what they should do next.

However, her thoughts were interrupted by Lexa, whose eyes suddenly opened, clearly disturbed even if she didn’t move and tried not to show it. The blonde knew better, though. After all, it was not the first time in the past days, either.

“Bad dream?” she softly asked Lexa, as her green eyes looked at her

“No, not really” she whispered

“Hey… I know this has been frequent, Lexa. Are you ok?”

The brunette moved to sit on the bed “I’m fine, Clarke”

Clarke put her drawings aside, moving to hug Lexa, as she turned away, throwing her legs around her back so she wouldn’t leave “Hey…” she rested her chin on Lexa’s shoulder “Talk to me…”

Lexa took a deep breath “It’s nothing big, really”

“It is something, then…” Clarke softly spoke “Let me help, Lex”

“There’s nothing you can do really.” Lexa held her hand “I think it has to do with the flame”

Clarke raised her eyebrow “What about the flame?”

“Well, you put it on, as well, I am guessing you know how it feels” Lexa explained

“Yes… well, I didn’t have it on for a long time and I was quite busy trying to get ALLIE, so I am not sure I know what you’re talking about”

“I was only twelve winters old when I first ascended.” The brunette said “Once with the flame you also connect with the former commanders, you get as if another sense in you…”

“Yes, I know”

“Hmm” she sighed “I keep…” she hesitated “I’ve had these… visions, as if a memory from a long time ago… I’ve had them for such a long time, but I’ve always thought it was the flame” Lexa turned to the blonde “I still have them, now, though”

Clarke observed her, as she spoke “You think it’s a memory from another commander?”

Lexa shrugged “I no longer have the flame, Clarke”

The blonde kissed her cheek, turning her around, not exactly knowing what to say to her. “I wouldn’t know how to explain that, Lex… But I don’t want you upset… can I ask what is it that you see?”

Lexa looked at her “A couple, a man mainly. Holding his child.” She sighed “They look happy”

Clarke shrugged “Doesn’t seem that disturbing to me?”

“They are not like us, grounders.” She explained “But much more like you, sky people or even the mountain men. I’m not sure if you understand what I mean…”

The blonde nodded “Of course I do, Lex. So… if that is actually something that happened, you think it’s a memory from a commander”

Lexa shrugged “Could be? I don’t know”

“Would it be that bad?”

“That is not the point, Clarke. Of course not… It is just… strange”

“Well, it could be a memory from Becca, right? The first commander? I mean, she created this, right? The world from before was quite different”

“I guess you’re right. It’s just odd I still have these…”

“Well, it could be worse, right?” The blonde dropped her forehead on hers “You know when I took the flame and then the chip, I was with you in the city of light. You saved me”

The brunette looked at her, surprised “I didn’t know that”

Clarke smiled “Oh, you were there, you helped me defeat ALLIE. I actually don’t know why I was the one who took the merit for that. I mean, if it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have done it”

“You deserve all the merit for everything you've done, Clarke." Lexa smiled "But, well, it shouldn’t be a surprise. I would always be with you, no matter what”

Clarke gulped “You were.” She hugged her “And now you are, too”

Lexa smiled “Always”

***Away from there***

“Ai laik Alicia en ai laik Heda sis” Alicia proudly spoke, as she walked alongside Benjen, who carried a couple of rabbits for their dinner.

“That’s great” Benjen smiled at her “You’re good at this”

“Yu laik Benjen kom Trikru”

“Sha.” He nodded “En’s ai”

“That means _It’s me_, I suppose”

“Sha” he smiled at her “Yu ste os”

“Hmmm I might need a small notebook, on the second thought” Alicia bit her lip “I mean we’re talking about a new language, my sister's native language and I want to learn it. I want you to teach me, but I might need to write down a few…”

Benjen interrupted her, as first fascinated with her excitement, but then amused by his discovery “Shhh, look what we found?” he smiled, pointing at the sight of both Magna and Yumiko hungrily making out, against a tree.

“Wow!” Her eyes widened “Uh… Benjen, as much as I’m happy for them, we should leave”

“Why?”

Alicia frowned “Benjen? You can’t just stay here and watch, it’s rude”

“Why is it rude? They’re the ones out here so anyone can see. It would be rude if I sneaked into their room to watch”

Alicia looked at him, bothered with his logical response “Benjen, let’s go and leave them be.” She grabbed his arm and pushed him away “You are weird”

Benjen smirked “We are humans, Alicia. This is only natural. There’s nothing to hide about it. It’s not like we don’t know what they are doing when they suddenly disappear, anyway”

Alicia sighed, knowing he wouldn’t be able to understand her. She actually understood how he would see things the way he did, though. After all, the more she got to know about him and his culture, it didn’t actually surprised her.

“Fucking finally! Where the fuck have you guys been?” They heard Negan cursing as he spotted them, returning.

He had already lighted a fire and was alone, waiting for them.

“We got dinner, though” Alicia spoke

“I mean, now we’re fucking five members where does this leave me?”

“We need to get another horse to make you company” Benjen quickly sat down, near the fire, his words amusing Alicia

“Fuck. What have you done to this mother fucker, Licia? I mean he doesn’t fucking shut up now and he’s all funny and all that shit”

“I did nothing” Alicia hugged Negan “And no one’s putting you aside.”

Negan rolled his eyes “The other ladies are somewhere out there fucking each other’s brains and both of you are too fucking close for comfort. And you fucking tell me to get some horse’s company? Fuck you!” he turned to Benjen again

“Shut up, Negan. You are talking nonsense, again.” Alicia spoke walking away

“Yes, you are” Benjen agreed, as Negan approached her

“No I’m fucking not” He sat next to him, helping him with the rabbit “Trust me I’m good at this shis. Plus it’s not like you can fucking hide it”

Benjen frowned at him “Hide what?”

“You? Head over heels in love with Licia?”

The young man looked at him, then at Alicia, who was searching for something in her backpack.

“Kid, you’re doing alright.” Negan smirked “But I have my fucking eyes on you”

Benjen turned to him, again, but decided not to reply. He knew Negan was only trying to provoke the both of them.

Yet he knew he was right and he feared it was becoming way too obvious.

He couldn’t keep his eyes off Alicia and he knew it. He would kill for every second next to her, without hesitation.

That was definitely not part of the plan.


	13. CHAPTER 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa discuss their next move regarding the Ice Nation.
> 
> Alicia and Benjen get closer after an accident frightens both. 
> 
> Rated R*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone!
> 
> Hope you like this one! 
> 
> Please give me feedback!
> 
> Carly*

***A few weeks later***

“SHIT!”

Lexa smirked, looking down at Clarke, who was cursing, on the floor. The both were training, but the blonde didn’t seem to be able to beat her lover in a clean fight.

“Melon op, ai snogon.” She extended her hand to help Clarke up. “Kigon yo gonplei”

“You bet, I’m not giving up!” Clarke snapped, accepting her help to stand up.

It was late in the night and they were in the usual meeting room, where both had spent the past weeks, mainly.

The news were excellent, in the past days. The Ice Nation had stepped back for a while, after acknowledging the growing numbers of people on Arkadia’s side, willing to fight.

The rumors on Lexa spread fast and she was the main topic of conversation, even within Arkadia, itself. Monty had been able to get together pieces of some video shooting they had been showing everyone and, therefore, convincing people to stay on their side.

Of course, it was not a secure coalition, since there was never a lot of trust between the Sky people and the Grounders. But their faith in Lexa’s survival and their disdain for the Ice Nation kept their coalition, for the time being.

Clarke has allowed a few other trustworthy people to get to know the truth. People they needed for their plan. Because apart from that, no one knew where Lexa was.

The former commander felt a lot better, however. Clarke had sensed, in the past days, that her lover was more stressed and eager to leave that place. And so, the time she feared the most was on top of her. She still couldn’t deal with the possibility of everyone knowing about Lexa and endanger her all over again.

“Fully recovered, Lexa?”

The blonde watched as Kane approached Lexa with a smile “Yes, I am ready for what’s to come”

“We all need to meet tomorrow, to plan exactly what to do next. I mean, maybe waiting for the Ice Nation to come, anyway, is a bit foolish, uh? We could do something while they are retreating to make new plans, themselves”

Lexa nodded at him “Yes, I agree there are things to be discussed…” her eyes moved to Clarke, who observed them closely.

“It’s a deal. Tomorrow night, then”

Lexa nodded at him, before approaching the blonde. Clarke was stressed and the brunette knew it. She smiled lovingly at her, as she leaned down to whisper in her ear “Why don’t we leave here so I can help rip those thoughts off and avoid a headache?”

The blonde stared up at her, showing her a small smile, before standing up, to whisper back “Shower?”

Lexa smiled, moving so Clarke could take the lead. After all, they still needed to be careful so no one else could see her.

The brunette attacked her lover once they reached Clarke’s room. Both stumbled to the shower, already too lost in each other’s arms.

“God damn you, Lexa…” Clarke breathed, as Lexa didn’t waste time getting rid of her clothes and pushing her inside the shower. Her lips attacked her neck, while her hands made sure to travel every inch of the blonde’s body.

Clarke’s eyes were shut down, her mind incapable of thinking about anything else other than Lexa’s marvelous lips and talented fingers, working wonders on her body.

The brunette had turned the water on just at the perfect temperature, stimulating both, even more. Her hands then focused on the blonde’s breasts, as one of her knees skillfully positioned itself between her legs, making just the right pressure on her flooding center. Clarke moaned, enticing Lexa even more.

“Den manik gon yu, Klark” Lexa breathed against her skin, moving lower on her lover, unable to keep up with the usual teasing.

Clarke wanted to ask what that particular word meant, but she couldn’t form the words. Sex with Lexa was always so intense. She was able to work her up within seconds. She was able to make her a whimpering mess. She was able to do and awake things in her she never believed possible.

She loved their sex life.

“Oooh…” she moaned, once Lexa got one of her legs around her shoulder. She was lying on her knees, as the water fell on them. She was teasing her, kissing and occasionally biting her thighs, until she couldn’t carry with it for any longer, herself. That was when she finally attacked Clarke’s center with her warm, talented tongue, tasting and working wonders, on the blonde. “Lex…” she moaned, feeling her legs weakening “… so good, Lex… fuck…”

The brunette didn’t waste time to make use of her fingers to please her lover, hitting just the right spots she knew so well, already, and driving her to an intense and explosive orgasm only a few minutes later.

She strongly held her, as she weakened, between her and the wall of the shower, still recovering.

“Meizen, Klark” she whispered, kissing her way up her body again, breathing in every inch. Once she opened those blue, ocean eyes, to stare at her, she showed her a smile. She was too beautiful, in her eyes.

“M-Manik?” Clarke asked, still breathless

“Horny” Lexa whispered, moving to kiss her neck, her hands never stopping their trip around the blonde’s body.

Clarke bit her lip and took only a few moments for recovery, before making her move, pushing her hand between her lover’s legs, inducing a moan from Lexa “Needed proof?” she hissed, as Clarke’s fingers moved between her folds

“No.” her free hand grabbed Lexa’s jaw, gently, before kissing her passionately. “I just love to watch you like this” she whispered, observing her as her fingers still teased her

Lexa groaned “Don’t tease me, Clarke”

“Or what, babe?” Clarke smirked

The brunette groaned, once again, moving herself against her lover’s hand “Ai gaf yu, Klark” she whispered, in the blonde’s ear, sending shivers down her spine.

“Miya, ai snogon” Clarke whispered, making Lexa smile at her lovingly.

A few hours later, both were recovering from their very productive exercise, lying on the bed. Clarke was lying on Lexa’s shoulder, as she played with the blonde’s hair.

“Lexa?”

“Hmmm?”

You’ve been stressed, lately”

“That makes both of us, then, uh?” Lexa whispered

Clarke held her own weight on her elbow, to move and stare directly into her lover’s green eyes “You want to leave?”

The brunette caressed her cheek “I’m trying to do this, Clarke. But you know this is not wise, anymore. I feel better now, and yes, I do feel encaged.” She observed her “You know I will not leave you. I just think we cannot live like this. You cannot lock me up out of fear. If we truly want a good life, we need to fight this. I need to go out there. We need to end this”

Clarke gulped, knowing she was right. She knew she was being selfish and things needed to change.

Yet, it terrified her.

“You’re right…” she leaned down on her shoulder, again.

“I know, I am”

“Kane wants a meeting, tomorrow, uh?”

“Yes”

“You know, I’ve been thinking…”

“I know, Clarke”

The blonde moved to look at Lexa, once again “You know?”

Lexa smiled, holding her hand to kiss it “I do know you better than you think, Clarke. Plus, the both of us have been playing wars for a while now. I do know what’s on your mind”

Clarke was taken aback “And what is it?”

“Well… You’ve been thinking Roan can be a reasonable man and now it’s the right time to try and sneak into their territory to talk to him”

The blonde was surprised “Yes… that’s basically it”

“He is better than his mother, for sure, Clarke. But I think you know none of this might be happening under his true wishes” Lexa explained “His people may very well kill him if he doesn’t stand up for what Azgeda always fought for.”

“I know… But maybe we can talk things through. Get to some solution. One that doesn’t involve a war” Clarke replied

“Maybe the better solution for now would try to sneak someone in there. Study their goals and sort those who are willing to help and stop this war”

Clarke nodded “Ok…” she whispered “Do you know someone in there who might want to help us?”

Lexa shrugged “It’s been a long time, Clarke. People change, so I cannot be sure about people, anymore.” She spoke “I do believe Echo is also a reasonable person, who might be willing to fight on our side”

“Echo?” Clarke raised her eyebrow “The one who made Mount Weather blow up?”

“She was following Nia’s orders, Clarke. Many people doubted me and my place, at the time.”

“Well, they were wrong”

“That’s past, anyway. Things change, as I said” Lexa spoke

“We need to do this, then”

“Hey, you better not be having ideas of leaving without planning this through” Lexa warned, knowing her lover way too well.

Clarke looked at her “We will discuss this tomorrow, in the meeting”

“Sha” Lexa whispered “Ai hod yu in”

“Ai hod yu in, Lexa” Clarke snuggled up against her lover.

***Away from there***

“I am happy the both of you solved your problems” Benjen smiled at Yumiko, who walked alongside him as both scavenged a desert farm they discovered, near the place they used to camp, for the night.

Yumiko smiled at him “Nothing made sense to me, if she wasn’t there”

Benjen quickly took down three walkers nearby “I know what that is”

The lady grinned “Oh, you certainly do, now, uh?”

He frowned “Now?”

“You know, I cannot blame you, Alicia truly is a gem. And she’s quite beautiful, uh?”

The young man stared at his friend “Yes… she is”

She smiled at him “You know you have a pretty good chance, right?”

“Miko… stop trying to throw me at Alicia. My mission is to get her to meet her sister. I need to do that”

“So? We are all here for that”

“Guys!”

The both were interrupted when they heard Magna yelling for them, appearing in their field of vision, from a long distance.

“Oh dear” Yumiko spoke, worriedly “Something happened”

“Let’s go” Both ran to Magna, who was already fighting the upcoming walkers.

Benjen became immediately worried. Their deal was to separate for only a while, so he and Yumiko could scavenge that farm, while the other three went to get water.

The weather had been incredibly hot and they were getting short on water.

“What is it?”

“C’mon, there’s a herd approaching. Alicia refuses to leave without water. We found a source” She breathed

Yumiko immediately approached her, noticing the blood in her shoulder and arm “Are you ok?”

She nodded, as they started walking back “Yes, a tree fell almost on top of me and Negan. There are a couple of trees in shitty conditions, back there. It’s just a scratch, though”

“Negan? He’s alright?”

“Yes, just some scratches too. Alicia was already climbing to the water source and the herd is on top of them. Negan is with her since she refused to leave”

“Well, we do need water” Benjen spoke

“Shut up, you!” Magna spoke, irritated “The one who got furious weeks ago when we got locked up in a police station! She knew it wasn’t safe”

“Well, but we do need water, and we can’t survive without it. If she found a fountain, we have to take profit of it”

Magna rolled her eyes “Miko, remember me to punch him in the face once we get this over with.

“Easy, guys, let’s get to it”

They ran for a while, killing the many walkers in their way, before reaching a higher ground, in the woods. There was a fallen tree, holding many walkers back, but many were already surrounding the place. Benjen was shocked once he noticed the water source Magna mentioned was too high and Alicia was already and dangerously up there.

Negan was fighting the increasing number of walkers approaching, near the fallen tree.

“You failed to tell me this fountain was dangerously high!” Benjen said to Magna, before bowling down many walkers in his way to help Negan.

“And you failed to listen to me so you could take your dear Alicia’s side without even knowing the shit this turned up to be!” Magna snapped back

“I was not taking sides, I was stating a fact” Benjen spoke

“Shut up, guys!” Yumiko snapped at them.

“Where the fuck have you been, you sorry shits?!” Negan snapped, as well, once he spotted them “That stubborn lady is up there filling our fucking containers. I have two large ones here” he pointed at his feet “We need to leave, now”

Benjen stared at him, for a second, noticing the blood on his face. He then looked up at Alicia, who was making a huge effort to carry the third larger container while filling up their small ones. His heartbeat started to increase at an intolerable pace. She was definitely not safe up there.

“Let’s leave” he looked up “Alicia! Come down!”

“I’m almost finishing!”

“Forget that, now, come down, please!” he yelled

“Benjen!” Yumiko warned “Now!”

Benjen turned back to them, trying to think of a quick solution “Go!” he ordered, incapable of coming up with a better one “We’ll be right behind you! Try some noise to guide the walkers away!”

“Benjen, we are not…” Magna turned to him, worriedly

“GO!” he interrupted her, turning to look up, once again.

He was never a perfect climber, unlike many other from his people, but he would have to try if she didn’t do as he told her.

“Alicia, drop that container and come down, please!” he begged her, fearing she might fall any second, with the weight of the containers and the struggle to keep her own balance.

“Benjen, we are out of water… “

“Alicia, the herd is on top of us. We are good fighting walkers but we cannot make the impossible”

She looked down at him, sadly “Alright”

“Good!” he breathed.

She took a deep breath, trying to hold the big container while descending, at the same time. Yet, she stumbled, falling down a couple of meters, scraping her knees and hands as she tried to hold onto something, again “Shit!” she groaned, losing the last container, in the process.

Before she knew it, however, Benjen was next to her “Alicia!” he breathed

“The container…” she mumbled, feeling his firm chest on her back, as he made her look at him, holding tightly onto the reef so none would fall.

“Hey…” he softly spoke “We’ll figure it out. We already have two containers. We will find more water” he smiled at her “You know this water gets down there, right?”

She frowned, still in pain “Only a few drops, it would take ages! Plus there were walkers. I’m sorry…”

“We need the water, but we also need to make it…”

Her eyes widened as she noticed there was yet another tree falling down. Yet, this one was bigger and coming in their direction. “Benjen!”

The young man noticed and tried to quickly move the both of them away. Yet, he couldn’t escape the sharped branch that punctured his shoulder, in the process. He tried to suppress his groans, encouraging Alicia to keep moving down.

After all, this fallen tree could be useful for them to escape the herd without much fighting.

But, of course, Alicia immediately noticed “Benjen!”

“Shhh, I’m fine” he stared at her, who looked at him, in panic.

The branch punctured him deep enough to make him loose a good amount of blood, yet he knew he wouldn’t give up “Alicia, c’mon…” he whispered, once they reached the floor. “Let’s go, they are ahead of us”

“Benjen, you are…”

“Go!” he groaned, but she refused to move without holding his hand, making sure he followed her.

The pain was intense and Benjen could still feel the branch in his shoulder, cutting deeper as he moved. He took a deep breath, concentrating in his path as Alicia pushed him, behind her. She grabbed her machine gun barrel to take down the few walkers who tried to reach them, but they didn’t face big troubles in their way back.

That spot was filled with dry trees, in bad conditions and in risk of falling any minute. And it was exactly what happened as the herd crossed by. Thankfully, that helped both Alicia and Benjen escape.

Alicia was too nervous. Benjen could sense that. Yet, he wasn’t able to form the words, because the growing dizziness wouldn’t allow him too.

“I’m so sorry, Benjen” she whispered “This is all my fault!”

She became immediately alert, all over again, once she sensed movements near them.

“Alicia!”

“Oh, thank god…” Alicia sighed, once she recognized the familiar voice of Negan. She turned to Benjen, who was losing blood despite still having the branch punctured in his shoulder “Here…” she gulped, grabbing the red cloth he always carried with him “Let me apply pressure on that. We cannot remove that here, you’d bleed out”

Benjen looked down at her as she got to her tiptoes to be able to use the cloth around his shoulder. He moved his hands to caress her cheeks “You scared me…” he breathed

“I’m sorry…” she leaned into his chest, to hug him tightly

“Alicia! Benjen!”

They could hear Yumiko’s voice, now closer

Alicia took a deep breath, grabbing his arms “Let’s get you patched up. Don’t you dare going unconscious now”

His eyes focused on her hands, as she grabbed him “You are bleeding…”

“Shh, I’m fine, you’re not”

“Oh, they’re here, guys!” Magna yelled “We took a few trees down, Benjen, so you wouldn’t… oh, shit!” she stopped her words once she noticed her friend “What the fuck happened?!”

Alicia turned to her as she reached them “A tree fell on top of us…”

Magna stared at her, as Yumiko and Negan approached as well “That’s for your stubbornness, then”

“I said I’m fucking sorry!” Alicia yelled, pushing Magna away, before grabbing Benjen “Let’s go now, he needs help!”

“Fuck!” Negan’s eyes widened as he noticed Benjen “Where should we get to, now?! We are on fucking foot, remember?” he held one of Benjen’s arms around his shoulders, to help him walk.

“I’m fine, Negan”

“I don’t fucking care, kid.” Negan spoke, showing Alicia an encouraging smile.

“The farm, there’s an intact barn there, we could use it.” Yumiko spoke “We only need to walk for a little while

“I can take it” Benjen spoke

“You better, big guy. We need you” Magna spoke

“You’re hurt, Alicia” Negan stated, noticing her hands and knees

“I’m fine” she nervously spoke.

Once they reached the barn, Yumiko immediately worked on creating a safe perimeter outside, even if she was able to lock the barn itself. But that way, they could be relaxed without worrying about their surroundings.

Meanwhile, the other ladies and Negan were with Benjen, working on removing the branch from his shoulder.

“We’ll need some water here” Alicia spoke

“Well, thanks to you we have some” Magna spoke, as they stripped him.

“Ladies, shit happens all the fucking time. Do not fucking argue. Just get the kid ok. You’ve done shit, she’s done shit, I’ve done a lot of shit. Fucking forget it now” Negan turned to Magna, who took a deep breath, yet nodded at him

“Skrish” Benjen cursed, suppressing his groans yet contracting every inch of his body, in pain, as Alicia touched the branch.

“I’m sorry…” she softly whispered “I’ll need to remove it now, Benjen”

The young man nodded “Dula’m daun”

Alicia took a deep breath, staring at Magna, who nodded at her, encouragingly “Drop some water and make good pressure as soon as I remove it. If it bleeds much we’ll have to cauterize it, though we should avoid it” 

She nodded, kissing Benjen’s forehead “This is no big deal for you, big lukot” she spoke encouragingly as Alicia pushed the branch off his shoulder.

“Ah…spichen” Benjen cursed

“Shhhh, it’s ok, now” Alicia whispered 

“Here…” Negan handed a few bandages they had brought from Hilltop. “This might be fucking helpful”

“Yes” Alicia quickly grabbed them to use on Benjen’s shoulder. “You will be fine”

Benjen was still breathing hard, staring at Alicia, who was still covered in blood. “Mochof, Alicia” he mumbled

“Let’s get you comfortable, now, you need to rest”

“You need to take care of those…” He protested, but the ladies interrupted him

“I’ll help Alicia now, you stay right here, alright?” Magna spoke

“Negan will feed you, you just rest, alright?” Alicia smiled at him

Benjen didn’t seem so pleased, but nodded at her.

“I’ll fucking feed him?! Why me?! He’d prefer that lady to do that” he pointed at Alicia

“Just do it, Negan!” Yumiko spoke, returning to their spot “After that we’ll take care of your scratches too”

Magna smiled, turning to Alicia, who was taking a seat, away from them “Don’t you run away, girl”

Alicia stared at her “He could have died, there…” she gulped “If that fucking branch hit…"

“Hey…” Magna interrupted her, sitting in front of her and holding her bleeding hands “He’s alive. I’m sure he’s had worse. He’ll be fine and you shouldn’t be like that. I’m sorry I said that, earlier.”

Alicia gulped “You were right though”

“It’s past now. All of us are safe, right? Relax, Alicia” She took her hands to clean the scratches.

Alicia took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down, while Magna took care of her injuries.

“I need you to take your pants of, after this”

“Don’t let Yumiko hear you” Alicia whispered

Magna smiled, looking up at her “Sassy”

“Hear what?” Yumiko sat near them, suddenly.

“Alicia’s being a smart ass”

Yumiko smiled “Good, at least she ain’t stressing so much” she held Alicia’s shoulders as Magna continued her cares on Alicia’s hands. “Benjen will be just fine”

Alicia nodded “Thank you, girls…”

Once Yumiko noticed her lover was finished with Alicia’s hands, she spoke “Take off your pants, Alicia, those knees are ruined”

Magna smirked “Don’t be shy”

Alicia rolled her eyes “Right”

“Yeah, we might only stare at you just the way those pretty eyes were ogling Benjen’s abs” Yumiko joked

“I was… not!” Alicia’s eyes dodged over to the now sleepy Benjen.

Well, she knew too well that she didn’t miss that sight.

The other ladies giggled “Who blames her, babe, I mean, did you see those muscles” Magna grinned

"Shut up, you" Alicia rolled her eyes at them. 

Long moments later, after both Magna and Negan also healed their scratches, silence filled the barn.

Both Magna and Yumiko were cuddling in a corner, while Negan was wandering around the place. Alicia was sitting next to the sleeping Benjen, with a blanket around her shoulders.

“Ha yun, ai lukot” Benjen mumbled, softly opening his eyes, a few moments later

She smiled widely at him “Ha yun, Benjen kom Trikru”

The young man smiled widely “Meizen…”

“How do you feel?”

“I have had a lot worse, Alicia. I’ll be just fine” he smiled

“Good… I’m sorry, again”

Benjen looked at her “This is nothing, Alicia. You scared me, though. When you were up there, I thought you could just fall any second, you were struggling…”

“It was stupid, I’m sorry. I just wanted the water so bad… and guess what, we already wasted almost a full container, to take care of everybody”

He shrugged “Don’t worry about that. We’ll figure it out” he whispered “Just do not scare me like that again… I cannot lose you”

Alicia gulped, staring at him. There was something about him that attracted her immensely. “Well, I cannot lose my guide, either” she whispered, moving to kiss his cheek, before laying down incredibly close, using his healed shoulder as pillow

Benjen froze, momentarily, with her closeness.

“Is this ok?”

He stared at her, lost in her green eyes. He was seduced, lured as never before. His heartbeat was betraying him, but he didn’t care. To hell with duty, in such moment. He had Alicia next to him and he started to feel she probably cared, as well. And that feeling was almost capable to explode every inch of his soul, in happiness.

So, he moved his hand to caress her cheek, before leaning to kiss her forehead “Perfect, Alicia”

*Arkadia*

The next morning, Lexa woke up to the unusual feeling of an empty place next to her, in the bed.

“Clarke?” She sleepily asked, out loud.

She was usually the first to wake up.

“Clarke?” She stood up, going to the bathroom to look for any sign of the blond, but there was nothing.

It would be easy to assume Clarke probably went to take care of a few things and would shortly come back.

But Lexa knew better.

Her eyes immediately focused on the door, to notice there was no key. She walked towards it to confirm she was locked up in there.

She clenched her fists, the reality of what was happening awakening every feeling of anger, sorrow and fear, inside her.

He eyes then observed the small piece of paper next to the usual Clarke’s drawings. Once she approached, she could see yet another drawing of her, with the words – _I’m sorry, Lexa. I love you_ – written on the piece of paper.

“Spichen, Clarke!” She yelled, punching the wall.

She was gone.

And Lexa knew exactly where she was going.

_Azgeda._


	14. CHAPTER 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After so many setbacks, the group's ties are fortifying and they get some luck on their journey.
> 
> Lexa goes after Clarke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone!
> 
> I hope you are enjoying this story!
> 
> Here's one more chapter. 
> 
> Please give me feedback!
> 
> Carly

“Hey… guys… hey! HEY! HEY! WAKE THE FUCK UP YOU SORRY SHITS!”

Alicia took a deep breath, as she opened her eyes, waking up to Negan’s shouts. She was leaning against Benjen, feeling way too comfortable and warm, making her wish to never leave that precise spot.

The young man also woke up with all the uproar. Alicia moved up and smiled at him, once she noticed he was awake “Please allow me to rip his vocal chords off? Just once?” Benjen spoke

Alicia laughed “I’ll see what he’s up to. How do you feel?”

Benjen smiled up at her “Great, Alicia…” he grabbed her hand to give it a soft kiss.

Her smile weakened him more than any violent strike.

He desperately wanted to push her back into his body again and feel her that close to him again. Her scent was perfect and he wished to get lost in it, forever. Her skin was too soft, making him want to feel every inch of her petite body. She was little, when compared to him, her height barely reached his shoulders, but it made him like her even more. Her body was divine, with the perfect curves in the right places and he could definitely guess the toned muscles she was hiding underneath her clothes. She looked too fragile but was definitely not, and that lured him to her, even more, if possible.

It was probably odd, because he saw himself internally complimenting and contrasting every physical aspect that attracted him, when he grew up with her twin sister, who looked exactly like her. Yet, for him, Alicia was completely different. He never looked at Lexa in such way. So, for him, it felt completely different.

Alicia’s stare was intense and quite persuasive, if she wanted to. Benjen knew it resembled to Lexa’s. Yet, there was something warmer in Alicia’s eyes. Something he couldn’t explain but that definitely made him more drawn to her, if possible.

_I am going crazy._ His mind yelled at him.

“Good,” he heard her soft voice, awakening him from his own thoughts “I’ll be right back” she leaned to kiss his cheek, before moving up to walk away.

His eyes observed her by detail, as she turned her back on him, walking towards Negan, who was already with Yumiko and Magna. His eyes specially caught the perfect movements of her legs and bottom.

_Spichen._ His mind yelled at him, as he gulped. _Definitely going insane like this._

“What the hell is going on, after all?” Alicia asked, once she joined Magna, Yumiko and Negan

“This place is a fucking golden mine!” he smirked “We just need to keep fucking digging!” he pointed at the floor, of the corner of the barn “There’s a fucking trapdoor, guess what’s inside?! Uh?” he walked to the spot, as the others followed “TCHARAAAAN! Fucking war weapons and shit!”

Alicia’s eyes widened once she noticed the heavily armed small place, underneath that trapdoor “Amno?”

“Full, baby!” Negan excitedly spoke

“How can we got this lucky?” Yumiko asked, still surprised

“I don’t know, but this is great shit” Magna quickly joined Negan “I say we get all of these”

Negan smiled widely “Are you crazy? Of fucking course, lady, we are taking all of this shit!” he threw a rifle at Alicia “And guess what? This is not the only fucking treasure!”

Alicia stared at him “What?”

He smiled at her, jumping to kiss her forehead “Come check this baby out”

“What is going on?”

Before they moved, Benjen spoke, already next to them.

“Hey, you should not be up” Alicia immediately spoke, once she saw him, still shirtless, with only the bandages around his shoulder. Her eyes dodged lower, unable to keep her stare up. He looked incredibly good. He was in perfect shape, his muscles were very well defined, toned and with only a few tattoos she thought looked amazingly good, on him.

“What did you find?” He looked down, at Alicia’s rifle, then at every others

“We found a lot of guns, Benjen” Yumiko spoke as Magna smirked, leaning to Alicia’s ear

“His eyes are up there, pretty face”

She frowned at her “Shut up” she whispered, almost inaudibly.

“I don’t like those” Benjen spoke

Of course, they all knew he didn’t like fire weapons.

“You might not like it, big guy, but we most certainly fucking do and this will be useful as shit”

“Yes” Magna nodded “We need this, lukot” Magna leaned up to kiss his cheek “You ok?”

He nodded “I’m fine…”

“Good, you still need to take it easy, the next few days” Magna spoke “Now come, I’m hoping Negan saved the best for last”

“Better than this?” Yumiko asked

“Oh, you bet I fucking did!” Negan shouted, at the barn’s door

Alicia approached Benjen “Magna’s right, you have to take it easy. Rest…”

He smiled at her “I will”

“Good”

Benjen nodded, walking alongside her as they watched Negan opening the door to go outside.

“Did you come outside as we slept?!” Alicia asked, as everyone followed him

“Well, do not fucking blame me. The both of you seemed to be having a fucking blast!” he turned to Yumiko and Magna, before looking at Alicia and Benjen“And the both of you were snuggling up against each other. Where the fuck did that leave me?”

The fourth younger members looked at each other, shrugging, as Negan smirked “C’mon, the place is fucking clear”

Alicia observed the place around her, better, for the first time. The previous day she had been so worried about Benjen she didn’t take anything in. The farm was big and completely desert, it was a shame, actually. It seemed to be a good place to settle. It had all conditions for it.

“CHECK THIS BABY!” Negan yelled, opening the gates of the garage.

There was a car, on the inside, in very good conditions.

“Please tell me you are showing us this because it…” Magna quickly approached it

“Because it fucking works!” Negan finished “YEAH!”

Yumiko’s eyes widened, turning to Alicia, who was equally surprised.

“And the fuel?” Yumiko approached as well, while Alicia stayed back with an unsure Benjen.

“Enough for looooong miles! We can shorten this fucking journey, folks”

Alicia smiled, turning to Benjen “Even if the fuel is only enough for a full day’s ride, it could save us a couple of weeks. Just imagine if it lasts more…”

“You are the best Negan, I’m sorry I threatened to cut your fucking throat” Magna spoke, already exploring the inside of the vehicle.

Negan laughed “You wouldn’t be the first one, right?” he turned to Alicia, who smiled at him, leaning to hug him

“This is great, Negan”

“Well, then, let’s get our stuff and keep going!” Yumiko spoke

“Hell, yes!”

“I don’t like this” Benjen spoke

“What is it, Benjen?” Yumiko asked him, worriedly

“I don’t like these things”

“What? Cars?” Negan asked

Benjen nodded, making Negan burst out laughing “Were you ever in a car?”

He shocked his head “No. I don’t like it”

Alicia smiled, finding him adorable “Benjen, it is fine. Don’t you worry”

Magna also approached, chuckling at him “Being weirdo again, lukot?”

Yumiko seemed to find it funny, as well “Hey, you don’t like our guns. You don’t like our cars… what is it you like, uh?”

Benjen looked at them, with a serious expression, hesitating “Well, I like you all…”

“Aw” The couple immediately went to hug him, after he was able to pull an honest smile from everyone’s lips “How is it you can go from the big scary guy, to the weirdo, to the sweetest? Uh?” Magna asked

“We are really going in that thing?” He looked at the car, once again

Alicia laughed, approaching him “Yes, Benjen”

***Arkadia***

Lexa was going insane.

Her first instinct was to break that door down and go after Clarke.

Yet, she had no idea what kept her quiet. She knew it would reveal herself to everyone in Arkadia and Clarke didn’t want that, but she wasn’t able to explain why that was making her hesitate.

After all, she was truly hurt with Clarke’s attitude.

She couldn’t understand why she was still trying to remain safe, following the blonde’s plan, while she had gone to Azgeda, putting herself in danger. Their deal was definitely not that.

Yet, she was holding back the wish to break the door down.

The brunette searched the entire room for a radio, so she could try and speak to someone.

But there was none.

Clarke had been clever enough to properly lock Lexa inside the room.

It wasn’t until very late in the night that she knew she had to be on full alert mode, to try and listen to the steps outside the room. If she heard a familiar voice, she would be able to call.

And, yet again, Lexa couldn’t explain why she was doing it.

She was only allowing Clarke to have more time.

_I will get you quickly, anyway._ She thought.

The brunette knew someone would come. There was a meeting with everyone and someone would notice their absence.

She was fully prepared, once there was a knock on the door.

“Open up!”

That someone was Raven.

Lexa sighed, quickly moving to the door. “Raven I am locked up, alone. Clarke left. Please open the door?”

“What?”

“Just open it”

“Alright, gimme a sec!”

And it was, indeed, only a second.

“What the hell is going on?!” Raven asked, watching as Lexa flew past her

“I’m going after her”

“Wow, wow….. WOW!” Raven ran until she was able to block Lexa’s way. “Clarke locked you up and left?”

“Well, that is so Clarke, isn’t it? I should have known better”

“Lexa, hey…” Raven tried to calm her down “Someone will see you outside. Let’s go meet the others and you can go through the same path we used to get you inside”

“The more time we lose here, the harder it will be to catch up”

“It will only be a minute, come on”

Lexa sighed, following Raven to the meeting room.

“Finally, what took you so long?” Murphy groaned

“Clarke is gone” Raven quickly spoke

Abby stood up, fast and already alarmed “What?!”

“We thought she was with you?”

“She locked me up. I can’t be sure but she might have left long hours ago, while I slept” Lexa explained “I will now leave to get her”

“No, we have to think this through” Kane spoke

“I am going to get her, now, whether that is in your plan or not” Lexa spoke

“I’m going with you” Bellamy spoke

“No, you are not” Lexa said “I am going alone”

Abby approached Lexa “And you know where she went?”

“Of course, it is predictable”

“She is trying to get to the Ice Nation” Raven assumed

Lexa nodded “Keep your plans. Get allies. I need to leave now so I have a chance to get her before she reaches their territory. If not, then I’ll have to try and sneak inside to get her silently. The plan doesn’t have to change for now”

“Wait” Raven walked away, probably to get something, while Abby grabbed Lexa’s arm

“I am sorry. Really. I’m sorry…” she whispered, hesitating for a moment, before continuing “She locked you up because she wants to keep you safe”

“How can she keep me safe when she is not?”

Abby gulped, looking at her “Bring her back?”

Lexa nodded “Yes”

“Here!” Raven returned with a small device “It is kind of a small radio. You can put this in your ear…” she explained “And this in your wrist… click here anytime and you will be talking to me.”

Lexa nodded “Alright… Thank you”

Raven smiled back, as Kane approached the brunette “You have better chances of going unnoticed with this. I believed you used a similar one when you were making your way to us”

Lexa took the cloak Kane gave to her “Yes… this will be useful” she nodded, staring up at him “Thank you”

“I’d offer a gun, but I’m not sure you’d take it” Bellamy offered

“I do not use those” Lexa quickly replied

“Please keep us informed, Lexa… we are together in this, even if Clarke decided to do this alone” Kane spoke, again

“And be safe” Abby spoke

Lexa nodded “I just need to get out of here.”

“Good luck!” Raven raised her hand for a high five, but received none as Lexa simples stared at her, before leaving. “Alright then…”

***The next morning***

“I feel nauseated…” Benjen spoke

Everyone in the car giggled.

They had been driving for long hours and travelled a considerable part that would, otherwise, take them weeks.

They had only stopped to get more water and had no trouble that time.

The group agreed they would drive until they ran out of fuel, swapping drivers every now and then. So, they only had small breaks, along the way.

Alicia used those breaks so she could change Benjen’s bandages. She was glad he seemed to be handling good enough and there were no big signs of infection.

Everyone was too amused with Benjen, though, who had spoken more in those hours than the rest of his life.

Alicia found him adorable, yet couldn’t stop her giggles, every time he tried to come up with a reason for them to leave the car.

He was sitting between her and Magna, in the back of the car, while Yumiko sat next to the driving Negan.

“You’ve been feeling sick ever since you got inside, Benjen.” Magna spoke

Alicia was leaning against his healed shoulder, her petite arms surrounding his muscled one, finding it comfy enough to take a nap every now and then. “She’s right, Benjen, if you were car sick you would have already puked all over us”

She could feel him groaning “These things are dangerous and unstable”

“Unstable?” Negan smirked “Fuck! You mean like this?” He accelerated down the road, pulling the car left and right over and over again, infuriating Benjen.

“Are you crazy?!” he snapped

The ladies laughed “Benjen, he’s just joking. It’s fine, big boy” Yumiko smiled, back at him

“I could kill you right now” He mumbled, making them laugh yet again “And stop mocking me”

Alicia chuckled, kissing his shoulder “You’re just adorable, you know”

His eyes turned to stare at her “You are enjoying this too, aren’t you?”

She giggled “Yes, I am”

“So, the big intimidating guy, who’s fought wars and shit, is fucking creeped out by a car” Negan smiled

“Shof op!” he snapped

“What the fuck is that?”

“He said _shut up_” Alicia smiled

“Fuuck, you already contaminated her with weirdo’s fucking tongue”

Magna rolled her eyes “He’s right on that”

“What?” Benjen frowned

“Don’t mind them, Benjen. They're just jealous” Alicia defended them

Yumiko turned back, to smile at them “Well, at least it keeps Benjen from whining all the time”

“We do not have much fuel left, anyway” Negan informed

“Well, as long as we don’t run out in the middle of a herd, that’s fine with me” Magna spoke

“So, big guy, can I ask a sensitive fucking question?” Negan shrugged in his seat “Cuz, you know, I am curious as fuck”

While Benjen hesitated, Alicia immediately spoke for him “No”

Negan smirked at her, staring through the rearview mirror “Alright, I’m fucking dying here so, big guy… Lemme shoot this straight at you”

“Oh dear” Yumiko relaxed in her seat

“I fucking hope you’re not throwing yourself at that pretty lady cuz you’re missing her twin sis so much”

“Negan!” Alicia kicked his seat, from behind “Mind your own fucking business!”

He smirked “I fucking love it when she gets this mad” he stared at Benjen “You do too, uh?”

Benjen, however, was frowning, understanding his doubts quite well. He didn’t blame him for being protective of Alicia. As a matter of fact, he appreciated it. And, if he usually didn’t bother to reply, that one time, he felt the need to.

“Lexa is like a sister to me. She is my leader, there is nothing I wouldn’t do for her” He spoke, in a serious tone “And that’s it. I would never use Alicia for anything like that, you have quite a perverted mind.”

“Oh, you have no fucking idea” He smiled at the younger man.

Yet Benjen knew he believed him, and was content with his reply.

“Benjen you don’t need to explain anything. He has nothing to do with it” Alicia spoke, irritated.

“Chill, Alicia” Magna said, relaxed “I thought you had learned to not let him get into your nerves, better than all of us”

“I know why he’s asking, though.” Benjen spoke “After all, you are exactly alike. But then again, the more I know you, the more differences I can get, too”

Alicia stared at Benjen, wishing so bad he would not speak in front of the others. Yet, he didn’t seem to mind.

“Like what?” Yumiko curiously asked

Benjen breathed, smiling at Alicia “You smile a lot more”

Alicia stared at him, petrified, unsure of how to react to such words. Even if she should see them as a compliment, she could only think of the reasons her sister had to not resemble her, in that way.

After all, everyone had troubled paths. But it pained her too badly to know such a simple detail.

“I’m sure life has made her so” Yumiko whispered, sadly

“Life has been tough on her” Benjen spoke

Alicia gulped, once again feeling nervous about the meeting with her sister and how many different ways it could possibly turn out to be.

Negan sensed the sudden tension and sadness, so he decided to break the ice, once again “So Alicia’s sis never wanted anything to do with you”

“Gosh, Negan…” Alicia sighed

“Lexa is like a sister to me, as I said” Benjen spoke “Plus, it’s not men she prefers”

While Alicia was surprised, Magna had a quicker reaction “Now that’s something interesting!”

Yumiko smiled, rolling her eyes at her lover “What? You want new experiences?”

“C’mon Miko, look at her” she pointed at Alicia “Her sis is hot”

“I am right here, you know?”

Negan laughed “Alicia is fucking hot. I said it and I’ll fucking say it again, if only I was fucking younger!”

“Negan!”

Benjen laughed as well “If you were younger, those words would get you killed right now” he leaned forward, replying to Negan.

“Wooooo” Magna smiled, amused.

“Alright, I am starting to miss the whining Benjen, now!” Alicia snapped

They laughed as Benjen still spoke “I agree, though. You are…what is it they say? H_ot_”

Everyone laughed again, as Alicia blushed “I can’t believe you are getting influenced, by them, Benjen! What kinda vocabulary is that!”

Benjen smiled at her, feeling his heart flutter.

He was too in love with that lady.

And he was glad the group was getting along so well. It pleased him see everyone so happy and creating such a strong bond. Before, he would have never be content with such a big group for such a dangerous journey. Yet, he couldn’t be happier with that outcome.

***Azgeda***

The blonde mingled within the huge crowd, knowing she would, soon, reach Roan, one way or another.

She had successfully reached Azgeda territory.

Her heart was contorting. Yet she hoped that was for the best.

She couldn’t allow Lexa to go through more trouble and maybe she could end that wa,r right there.

She wished for that so bad.

_Forgive me, Lexa. I have to do this. For us._


	15. CHAPTER 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke tries to deal with everything on her own, in fear she might lose Lexa again.
> 
> Benjen is no longer capable of resisting Alicia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> This is a shorter chapter, but I hope you enjoy it! 
> 
> Please give me feedback!
> 
> Carly*

It was not hard to reach Azgeda territory.

For Clarke, that was a good thing, since she wanted to make it fast. The less lost time, the better.

She had mingled within the crowd, observing her surroundings, with a hood above her head, trying to go unnoticed. She knew the best time to move would be during the night.

So, she wandered around until it was darker to make her move. The previous hours alongside azgedakru were enough for her to get to know a few interesting things.

The blonde had discovered not only where Roan was, but also that they had undercover people out, trying to figure out the veracity on Lexa’s survival.

The thought made her smile, yet worried her all at once. After all, everything would only be alright as long as Lexa remained in Arkadia. And she hoped she would be quick enough to return without her leaving.

She really hoped Lexa wouldn’t leave there.

The blonde moved slowly once she reached Roan’s place, wanting to get him alone to be able to have a more reasonable conversation. She wandered around, observing the place, yet not finding him.

“Who’s there?”

She suddenly jumped once she felt the sharp blade under her chin. Roan seemed to have the talent to point his sword at her.

The blonde sighed once she noticed he was alone. He was shirtless and had bandages around his chest.

She noticed he had been recovering, as well.

“Wanheda. What a fine surprise” he showed a hint of amusement “You really do have a magnet to trouble, do you not?”

“I came in peace. To talk only. I know you can be reasonable”

He shrugged, turning his back on her “What? You are here to call for my good sense and make my own people stop what they always wished for? Am I right? Would that even be good sense? I mean it would probably get me killed. Again”

Clarke sighed “You know this is all useless. Ontari murdered all the natblidas”

“And you ripped her chest open”

The blonde sighed, knowing that would be a test to her patience “Do you really want this, Roan? I know you don’t. And now you know we will fight back”

He smiled “Is it even true? The commander being alive and so? Uh? Or are you just stalling, Wanheda?”

“Roan, I just came to ask you to stop. Please, we can all talk this through. We can get to a solution. One that is favorable for both yours and my people. And every clan.”

“And what is favorable?”

Clarke stared at him “War isn’t!”

“Death isn’t, either” he moved away “They are angry. They are thirsty, Wanheda. My figure here is a fallacy.”

The blonde gulped “Roan… I am sure you can talk to your people… make them see otherwise”

He smirked “They don’t like you very much. Maybe they would be pleased enough if I turned you to them”

Her ocean eyes stared at him, in disbelief “You wouldn’t do that”

“You said it right. I’d prefer not to have war”

“The flame is with you, isn’t it?”

“Roan. If you attempt anything on me, you wouldn’t stop a war. My people would come for you”

He sighed, shrugging at her “I suppose you’re right”

“You are smarter than this, why are you acting this way?”

“I have my fucking hands and feet tied up here, wanheda. So I suggest you fucking leave here, before someone spots you. Because if that happens, then I will really have to lock you up only to throw you to the pigs, then”

She gulped, feeling actually threatened, that one time.

“There has to be another way”

“There is.” He turned to her “Get me the flame and I might convince them to stop.”

Clarke frowned “Only a natblida can have the flame. And I do not have the flame”

He smirked “You are a very bad liar, Wanheda”

Clarke closed her eyes, knowning, by then, the conversation would be useless. She understood his position. She could see he was telling the truth about not being able to contradict his people’s wishes. But he could, at least, try. And that was what she could not understand.

“Alright. You won. I will leave now. But you will lose this war and your people… and guess what?” she stepped forward “You will die anyway, Roan. And you will die a coward” She said those exact same words his mother spoke, before Lexa killed her.

She noticed his jaw clenching and his hand grabbing her arm “Leave, before you make me lose my temper, Wanheda”

The blond sighed, moving away from him and turning back to leave. Yet, just as she did so, three figures entered the place. She immediately recognized one of them as Echo, even if she didn’t know the other two men.

Echo laughed “Look who we have here!”

Clarke gulped, immediately knowing she was in trouble.

Now, there was no escape.

“Wanheda!” one of the men spoke

“Sha…” Roan smiled “Ai ste shoun of Wanheda”

“This is good news”

Clarke frowned “Is it?”

Echo approached her “Oh, it is.”

“Teik ai frag em op, haihefa!” The other man exclaimed

“No one is killing her now” Roan stepped forward “Keep her locked up, for now”

“So, is Leksa alive?” Echo took a step forward to Clarke, who remained silent.

“Echo, she means leverage. Leave her”

Echo looked up at him, with a smile “If Leksa is alive, she will come for Wanheda”

Roan looked at her, as if lost in his thoughts. On the other side, there was a panicked Clarke.

“There is no need for this, let me go now!” Clarke snapped

“You are staying.” Roan spoke “Take her”

Away from there, Alicia was walking alongside Benjen on a desert street of a destroyed and inhabited city.

Once they ran out of fuel, knowing they were near a city, they decided, once again, to take the risk and scavenge the city. Who knew they would be lucky enough to get some more fuel for the car.

After all, they would get to their destination a lot faster.

“How’s your shoulder?” Alicia asked, holding the machine gun barrel in her hand, even if, surprisingly, there weren’t so many walkers around.

“It is healing, Alicia” He smiled at her, even though she could sense the hint of sadness in his voice.

“Benjen, we will be more careful this time. They are actually right, you know. They are only searching for fuel, nothing else. We won’t get inside big buildings or anything…” Alicia explained.

She had decided to drag Benjen away from the others, as they made the decision to scavenge the city. She couldn’t blame him for disliking it, so she was trying to calm things down.

“We cannot protect everyone.” He spoke

“Hey…” Alicia touched his arm “They are here because they want to. I am here because I want to. We make our own decisions. We’re responsible for it”

Benjen shrugged “Sha… I want you safe, though”

“Well, I can take care of myself, big boy” Alicia smiled at him

“Yes, I know” He glanced at her “I want to make sure you’re safe, though. Things will get even more dangerous”

Alicia stopped momentarily to put down a single walker, nearby. Once she walked back to Benjen, who wouldn’t dare to take his eyes off her, she raised an eyebrow at him “Why? Is there something you’re not telling me?”

The young man immediately gulped, remembering his father’s initial plan. Obviously, there was no way he would allow him to do so, delivering Alicia to take Lexa’s spot and save her from harm’s way.

No.

There was no way he would allow it.

They would find another way.

“Alicia” he took a step forward, trying not go get distracted by her presence, close to him, staring directly at him.

She was able to weaken him quickly and he wondered if she knew just how much he wished for her.

“Benjen? What are you not telling me?”

“I have been telling you everything, Alicia…” he gulped “But you do know you are Lexa’s sister. Once we reach the clan’s territory, it will be dangerous for you. I wouldn’t forgive myself if something happened to you”

Alicia smiled, understanding his words, yet shuddering at them. It was overwhelming to feel such protectiveness and affection from him.

“Den dula yu du na shil ai op” she whispered, looking up at his caramel sweet eyes, knowing she surprised him by demanding his protection, in his own language.

Benjen was gaping at her, completely surrendered. “You are… stunning” he breathed, his fingers raising to touch her cheeks as his forehead dropped in hers.

Alicia shivered at his touch, yet felt her body burning with his closeness. There was something in him that made her want to stay there, close to him, forever.

_“Guys where are you?” _

Yumiko’s voice interrupted them.

Alicia quickly looked down and picked the radio “Only two blocks away from the main street. Where are you?”

_“We found some fuel. There’s no need to disperse much, now. We should leave as soon as we get this out” _

Alicia nodded, looking up at Benjen “Roger that, Yumiko”

The young man was staring at her, annoyed their moment had been interrupted. He wished to feel her lips so bad. Otherwise, he was going insane.

“Hey!” Alicia’s eyes widened.

He immediately turned back, noticing someone running inside a store, and Alicia quickly taking off, after him.

“Alicia!” He called back for her “What? Let go, a person will cause no harm!” he yelled, after her.

Alicia didn’t seem to listen to him, though. Instead, she jumped inside the store, searching for that someone.

Benjen took two walkers down as he ran after her.

“Where are you? Show yourself!” Alicia yelled, holding her gun. Her voice was barely heard since they probably cracked the store’s glass and it was now breaking behind them.

“Alicia” Benjen whispered, as he approached her, observing his surroundings. “Let go. This noise will get the attention of the dead” 

“No, Benjen”

The young man sighed, looking up, frustrated at her stubbornness. Yet, it took only a second until they heard a noise on the back of the store and Alicia ran away, once again.

They went from store to store but, eventually, they lost track of whoever was running from them.

“God damnit!” Alicia yelled, kicking a few chairs in her way

“Alicia, chill yu au” Benjen spoke, killing a few walkers near them.

“I lost that person! Someone was here!”

“I know, Alicia” Benjen said, surprised with her reaction “Why is it so important?”

“Everyone is important, Benjen!” She sighed, knowing she was being controversial. Yet that didn’t seem to mind Benjen.

His mouth went immediately dry and there were no words he could possibly say to argue with her.

She was too good to be true.

So, he did what he had been wishing for a long time now. Exactly what he wanted to do so bad before their unexpectedly long pursuit.

Oh, and he definitely silenced Alicia.

He quickly approached her, shocking her once she turned around right on time for him to pick her up in his arms and kiss her fully and passionately.

It took Alicia a few moments to react, feeling her body combust at his sudden yet sensuous outburst. Her arms surrounded his neck and her legs instinctively did the same to his strong torso, looking small once so close to his grand figure.

His lips were thirsty yet gentle, moaning against her as she gave into him and kissed him back, both loosing themselves in each other’s arms.

Once Alicia started to caress the short hair on the back of his neck, enjoying his kiss way more than she imagined, he stopped, to stare at her “Is this inappropriate?”

She laughed, dropping her forehead on his as she caressed his face “You are adorable, you know?”

His caramel eyes looked at her, in doubt “So, this is alright?” His arms held her securely against him, and he couldn’t resist leaning against her cheek, traveling all the way to her ear and neck, breathing in everything he could.

Alicia closed her eyes, feeling her skin shivering at his movements. It had been such a long time since she’d felt someone so close to her, it weakened her more than she thought. And the fact it was Benjen… he felt perfect against her skin.

“Yes, Benjen” she whispered

“Hmmm” he sighed, kissing his way back to her cheek “I… uh… I’ve been wanting to do that for a while now…”

Alicia smiled at him, caressing his face “Well, why don’t you runt that by me again, then?”

His pupils dilated even more, if possible, at her words “You make me go insane…”

Alicia chuckled, leaning to kiss him, instead.

Something about him felt so right.

It took them a while to be able to let go of each other. Benjen felt overwhelmed to know he wasn’t rejected. He needed no big words. In fact, he expected none. Alicia was such a special lady, he knew she wouldn’t allow him to get so close if she didn’t feel a twinge of affection towards him. Affection and trust. And, for him, that was enough for the time being.

Alicia felt immensely content and wouldn’t dare to overthink things. Benjen was the best thing that could have happened to her, in the past times, for sure. He went from a suspicious stranger, to an ally, to protector, to a friend and always growing into something more, it seemed. Not that she minded, not at all. Quite the contrary.

“The others are probably worried” Alicia spoke

“How are you so good looking” He smiled at her “Fanas…”

“You got the fine ass, big boy!” she chuckled, moving to get the radio

“That is so untrue, those green eyes may have issues” Benjen smiled, hugging her from behind as she tried to talk to their friends.

He couldn’t feel happier.

“Yumiko, we are returning, now” She spoke

There was no response, making Alicia frown “Yumiko?”

Again, no response.

“Magna?”

No word from the other side.

“Negan? Someone there?!”

Alicia turned to Benjen, her eyes widened, concern suddenly fill her entire body “Something happened!”

“Skrish” He muttered “We know are not alone”

Alicia’s eyes widened “He's got them!”

“Let’s go!”


	16. CHAPTER 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke is a prisoner of Azgeda, now.
> 
> Benjen does not apreciate Alicia's new friend, as they get closer and closer to the clan's borders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> Only a few chapters before the twins finally get face to face.
> 
> What are you thinking so far? 
> 
> Please give me feedback!
> 
> Carly*

Alicia and Benjen ran throughout the city roads, making their way back to the spot they first left their friends. Alicia was ahead of Benjen, and once she spotted their car, she stopped, signaling Benjen to stop, as well.

“You are fast” Benjen whispered, as he reached her, kneeling next to her, and so, both they remained hidden, observing their surroundings.

“You can’t be better in everything, now, can you?” Alicia replied in a whisper, as she noticed someone on the other side of the car, near the fuel cap.

“There, Alicia” Benjen whispered in her ear “He tied them up”

She nodded, once noticing their friends near the car, trying to escape, yet failing.

“He means to steal us and leave” Benjen spoke

“He didn’t hurt them, though”

“He’s surely armed though. Otherwise they would have put up a fight.” Benjen spoke

Alicia agreed “Of course, he’s in disadvantage, so he has to be armed and caught them by surprise”

“Seems to me we can deal with this easily”

Alicia smiled at Benjen “Yes, before he takes off with the car and our stuff” She moved to leave, but Benjen grabbed her arm and pushed her back to give her a kiss “You are so doomed, now”

She chuckled “Let’s see about that” she now pushed him with her “Go get him, big boy, I’ll release our friends”

“Alright…” Benjen moved carefully so the man wouldn’t sense him approaching. Alicia did the same, knowing their friends would remain calm if they spotted her. She motioned them to be quiet once she got close enough to release them.

“I’m sorry, guys…” She whispered, as she used her butterfly knife to cut them lose. “No wonder he tied your mouth, Negan” she chuckled as she released him

“Fuck you, lady” he whispered “Where the fuck were you?”

“C’mon, how couldn’t you three handle a single man?!” she snapped back, releasing the ladies

“We didn’t see him coming” Magna explained “He was armed, there was no immediate way out.”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t around…” Alicia whispered

“You are right on time” Yumiko leaned to kiss her cheek as they all heard the man groaning in pain

Turning back, Alicia saw Benjen cursing at the man whom he had thrown to the floor. Now the man was closer and she was able to get a good look at him, she couldn’t be more shocked.

“Jaka. Ai na frag yu op” Benjen used his hand to grab him by the throat and lift him up with a single arm.

Alicia gasped, recognizing the very familiar face “Oh my god!”

“What? You fucking know him?!” Negan asked as Alicia ran towards Benjen

“Strand!” she yelled, grabbing Benjen “Put him down, Benjen! He’s a friend!”

Benjen seemed confused and took a little while to do as commanded. “He stole from us and was about to leave with our things” He turned to Alicia, irritated.

“He’s a friend” she looked at Benjen, trembling, before turning to the black man, now on the floor.

He was coughing hard, holding his own throat, trying to breathe properly. It took him a few moments to look up to Alicia, sighing emotionally, as a wide smile appeared in his face “Alicia…”

The young lady approached him, helping him up only to hug him tightly “I thought I lost you… young lady” he sighed, hugging her tightly

“I’m sorry…” she closed her eyes “I’m so sorry…”

He smiled widely, kissing her cheek “You’re alive” he closed his eyes “That’s what matters… I looked everywhere for you, I never found you”

Alicia looked up at him, allowing the tears to fall “You came after me?”

He nodded, sadly “What? You thought I would let you just leave like that? I’m sorry about that letter. I never thought you would… I don’t know, I am really sorry, honey”

Alicia smiled between her tears “You left the others? How long?”

He shrugged “Not longer after you did… eventually I just… I had no idea where to go after you. But returning didn’t feel right, either. It felt more like a failure”

Alicia frowned “You are no failure” she looked down “I failed you. All of you”

He smiled at her “There’s nothing to be sorry about. I am sorry we shut you down”

She smiled, holding his hand “I can’t believe we crossed paths again”

“Who’s the motherfucker, Leashy?” Negan approached them, as well as the others

“He was running away from us just a while ago” Benjen muttered. Everyone could notice the anger in his voice.

“I didn’t recognize you, baby girl…” Strand spoke “I don’t think you have the right to judge me, young man. You could very well be the thieves here, if we were to cross paths. I was in disadvantage”

Alicia turned to Benjen, begging him to stop “Strand is my friend. He’s helped me a lot, save my ass lots of times… he was a big friend of my mother…” she gulped at the thought, before turning to him “You have no idea what’s been going on”

He smiled widely “I’d be more than happy to know”

“Well, if Alicia trust you then…” Yumiko extended her hand at him “I’m sure we can put this little stunt of yours behind us”

He accepted her hand and smiled at her “Victor Strand”

“This is Yumiko and Magna. That is Negan and Benjen” Alicia introduced them “So you’re all alone?”

He nodded “Yeah… I’ve stopped in this small community for a few weeks but… it wasn’t for me.”

“I guess the group will welcome a sixth fucking member, then” Negan smirked “I’ll try not to hold fucking grudge for that shit on my mouth”

Strand raised his eyebrow “You are a loud son of a bitch”

Negan laughed, extending his hand to him “Fucking welcome”

“There’s no room in the car.” Benjen spoke “And we should get going”

Alicia turned to Benjen, frowning “Says the one who hates cars?! Benjen, Strand is welcome to come with us if he wants to”

“Branwoda” He muttered, turning away

“What was that?” Alicia asked

Magna, however, quickly moved, signaling her to calm down “I’ll talk to him…”

“I will leave if I am not welcome” Strand looked at them

“You are staying!” Alicia snapped, before taking a deep breath “You are staying…”

“The car won’t be a fucking problem. We’ll take one of the fucking seats down, near the car trunk. I’m sure no one gives a shit about going a little less comfortable for a while. We’ll take fucking turns if we have to” Negan spoke

Yumiko nodded “Worry not, Victor. Benjen is just a little stressed. He’ll get over it”

“Call me Strand. And I certainly hope so, he has quite the strength” he caressed his neck again.

Alicia smiled “So, you come with us?”

He smiled at her “I’ll go with you, Alicia. But where are we going?”

“Oh, this is the fucking part those black balls fall off” Negan chuckled “I’ll go get the fucking car ready”

Yumiko decided to follow Negan and leave Alicia and Strand to talk “Well… you know, even if I partly regret leaving you guys… I mostly don’t”

Strand stared at her, curiously, unsure if he should be hurt or not, with her words.

“I was alone. I mean… that’s why I left, I needed to be alone…” She started to explain.

On the other side of the road, Magna followed an angry Benjen “Lukot… c’mon. What’s up with you?”

He turned to Magna “He was stealing us! He was going to leave us with nothing! How can we just… welcome him to come with us?!”

“Hey…” She approached him, trying to calm him down “Alicia knows him. He seems to be someone important to her. So we should be relaxed about it, right? You trust Alicia, right?”

Benjen frowned “Of course I do”

“So, is the fact he’s important to her that’s bothering you, uh?” She smiled

“I don’t care who he is!”

“Lukot…” she took her hands to his cheeks “You are angry for no reason, now.”

Benjen sighed “No reason? He’s a thief”

“If he’s a thief, I am a murderer. Now what? Hmm?” she made him look at her “What are you, Benjen?”

“You are no murderer.” He spoke, in a calmer tone “What you do doesn’t make you who you are”

“See? So there’s no reason to worry about Strand. Not if Alicia trusts him” she kissed his cheek

“We kissed” he whispered

Magna smiled “Oh, finally! You found the balls to do that”

“What balls?”

Magna laughed “So you told her how you feel?”

“Kind of… not directly… I… uh… was I supposed to?”

She laughed, yet again “I guess slow is a good option. She might be a little pissed at you now. So work on solve this first. But yes, lukot, you need to tell her how you feel”

Benjen frowned “I still don’t like this man”

***Two days later***

Clarke was growing desperate in the past couple of days, trapped in a made up cell, always escorted by two not so friendly guards. She had observed every inch of the place surrounding her, searching for a weak spot or, at least, something she could use.

But there was nothing.

There was no way out.

Particularly with those two guards.

Roan had visited her, yet only to tell her there was nothing he could do now. There was a slight hope in her escape, once he ordered the guards to leave so they could talk in private. But she had no luck.

She was trapped.

_Gosh, what am I supposed to do now? This is all going so wrong. It wasn’t supposed to go this way, god damnit._

With all that, she hoped Lexa was still in Arkadia. She hoped her people wouldn’t make her move based on her unsuccessful adventure.

“Wanheda”

Her thoughts were interrupted by Echo, who suddenly entered the place

“Are you here to free me?” The blonde quickly stood up

“You are funny.” Her indifference was notorious “We are moving you.”

Clarke frowned “Moving me?”

She nodded “Come.” She turned to the guards “Tie her up, a group is waiting”

The blonde was left with no choice other than obey, unsure if she should panic or not, at the news.

However, she saw herself with no time to think, either.

There was a noisy bang, not far from the camp, she could tell. And, suddenly, everyone started moving around, panicking and fearing an attack. Clarke knew it would be the perfect time to try to escape, but she had both hands and feet tied up.

She felt a guard dragging her back inside, while Echo ordered him and another to stay with the blonde, before moving out.

“What’s going on?” Clarke asked the guards

“Let’s hope it is not skaikru” one took a step closer to her “Because if so, I could kill you right here and n…”

Before he could finish, Clarke was shocked to see him being pushed away. A dark figure quickly showed up to take the other guard down with no difficulty, before focusing on finishing the first, as well.

The blond gulped, staring at the dark feminine figure, wearing a cloak, a scarf over her face and a war paint on her green eyes.

She had distressed black skinny jeans on, with an equally black long sleeved sweater and classic gloves. She carried a corset waist belt, bracers wrist bands and also some leg strap sheaths.

But, of course, the blonde already knew who it was.

She always loved to see Lexa in action. Even if she always feared for her, there was something about watching Lexa fighting that she found incredibly sensuous. 

If only she was wearing the rest of her old armor, with her long dress coat and red cape, she might come undone right there. That image of the commander had always been so vivid in her memory.

She was beautiful.

However, in that moment, even if Clarke was relieved, she knew Lexa was angry at her.

“Lex…” She breathed, hugging her tightly as the brunette cut her lose.

Lexa did not return the gesture, however. “Are you ok?” She simply asked.

The blonde closed her eyes, before breaking the hug to look at her “Yes. I’m sorry, Lex… Don’t be mad”

The brunette did not reply. Instead she returned the blonde’s cloak “Let’s go. This distraction will not last forever.”

“You caused this?” Clarke asked, in surprise. Yet again, she shouldn’t be, not so much.

Of course Lexa would have to find a way in Azgeda’s camp without being noticed nor attacked.

“It was brilliant, Lexa” she whispered following her carefully out of the camp. It was incredibly easy and Clarke was not so surprisingly proud of the now fully recovered Lexa.

That was the Lexa she’s always known.

Strong.

Determined.

Intimidating.

Safe.

For some reason, she always felt safe around her.

She had jumped on top of a horse, with the brunette, and both rode away.

She couldn’t be sure for how long they traveled, but Lexa eventually stopped near a small stream.

“Lexa…” Clarke knew it would be a tough task to make her love talk to her.

“Hey…” she insisted, hugging her from behind, as she stared at the water “Please don’t be mad… This was not what I had in mind, really. I just…” the blonde hesitated.

“You just… what?” Lexa replied, after a while

Clarke dropped her chin on her shoulder “Roan was not going to imprison me, Lex. But Echo and some guards arrived and saw me…”

“I do not care what you had in mind, honestly.” Lexa spoke “What exactly makes you think you can lock me up for weeks but endanger yourself whenever you have the chance?”

“Lex… I said I’m sorry, alright? Look… I’m here, nothing happened”

“But something could have happened, Clarke!” Lexa turned to her “Then what? What would be the point of everything we did so far? We’d lose everything because of a hasten decision? I’d lose you, instead, now?”

Clarke moved to hug her, even if Lexa still refused to return it. “You’re right, Lex… You are, I’m sorry”

“Spichen, Klark” Lexa sighed

“I love you, Lexa. I am not going anywhere… I was just panicked for you, for us… you are right, though. I’m sorry. It was useless, anyway. I see it, now. You were right all along, Roan is only doing this to please his people. He’ll probably be killed off if he resists this tendency and this pressure from everyone.” Clarke spoke “Wigod ai up, Leksa”

The brunette closed her eyes, still nervous and panicked. Yet she couldn’t resist holding her lover back.

She was right there and she wasn’t going anywhere.

Away from there, the group of travelers was having a break after so many hours in the car. The positive news was that they were closer and closer to Polis. Yet, on the other hand, it was exhausting and they decided to get to a safe zone where they could get some rest.

“Sup, dude!”

Benjen frowned, not moving his stare from the blade in his hands. He was sitting in a corner, far from the rest of the people, even if Alicia always remained in his field of vision.

He watched her as she talked to Strand, again, near Yumiko and Magna.

“You know being jealous of him is like being fucking jealous of me” He spoke

“I am not jealous” Benjen spoke

“Really?” Negan raised an eyebrow at him

“I just want to get to Polis.”

“Look, kid…” Negan quickly grabbed the blad, to make Benjen look at him “That lady is the most fucking precious thing you will ever find. And she’s kinda into you. What fucking game are you playing?!” he frowned “She’s found someone who was close to her and her dead mother and all you fucking do is whine about it? What the fuck? You’re ruining your fucking chances out of fucking jealousy, yes”

Benjen frowned at Negan “And why are you doing this? You never approved me”

Negan laughed “I never disapproved you once I got the fucking truth figured out. I still think she’s too fucking good for you.” He stood up “But you’re a good kid, just weird as fuck. So I’m fucking advising you, you should take it, I am a wise motherfucker”

Benjen looked away, his eyes searching for her, once again. All he wanted was to hold her and kiss her again. Yet he knew she was also mad at him, for his behavior.

“I never intended for this to happen. This was never in my plans, once my father sent me in this mission”

Negan observed him, curiously “How’s your old man?”

“I don’t know, Negan. I wish I knew how he was”

“That’s not my fucking question. I am asking you the kind of man he is. You seem to be your daddy’s lil bitch”

Benjen frowned, staring at Negan “What is that supposed to mean?”

“No offense, kid. You’re this fucking big intimidating guy and you say you were “sent” in this fucking mission as if you were obliged to. Makes me wonder what kind of fucker your old man is”

“My father worries about Lexa and is responsible for her safety” Benjen explained

“Still not answering my fucking question” Negan insisted “Why does it meant so fucking much to him that Alicia goes there”

“I told you, Negan” Benjen quickly said, not wanting to go further with the conversation

“No, kid. I’ve been fucking thinking about it. He could have fucking sent you a lot sooner. Why now? Cuz her sis is in danger? Hmm?”

“Negan… I do not understand” Benjen lied, knowing he shouldn’t be so shocked at Negan’s insight

“You better keep her fucking safe. She’s driving you fucking crazy and that I can recognize from miles away” Negan stated “It’s your old man who’s quite the mystery here”

Benjen took his blade back from Negan “I will always do everything to keep her safe…” he said, truthfully, yet scared that Negan solved an unspoken fact, so far. One that he would never allow him to fulfill - His father meant to put Alicia in danger.

“Good. I think you can fucking start by joining the group” Negan spoke

The young man took a deep breath, hesitating.

“Come” Negan insisted

Benjen stared at Alicia, who seemed to be concentrated in Strand’s story. He guessed Negan was right, just like Magna was. So, he followed Negan and sat near the others.

“Sup!” Negan sat down, as well

“Strand was just telling about his past few months” Yumiko explained

“Yes” Strand smiled, observing Benjen with surprise “Yet nothing I can possibly say will beat this shocking news you gave me” He looked down, with a smile “I can’t believe your sister is alive” 

Alicia smiled, nodding at him “Lexa”

“Lexa…” he looked at Benjen “It sounds so right for a reason”

Benjen looked back at him, as Strand continued “I want to meet her. I want to see her reality. I want to help you, all, to find her and make sure she is safe from whatever troubles there are” he turned to Alicia, gulping “I wish your mother was here, you know.”

Alicia looked down, feeling the painful knot in her throat.

She frequently thought about it.

“Can you imagine what she would do? She would drop everything and make it to Polis non-stop. All her life she believed Lexa died ill…” He held Alicia’s hand “And she was taken! She is alive”

“Lexa will never know how mom was.” Alicia whispered, sadly “How Nick was… dad…” 

Strand stopped, smiling at her, before moving to search for something, in his backpack.

“Lexa does not know about any of this. She grew up to a totally different reality. She will not blame you for anything” Yumiko spoke “I’m sure”

Benjen observed Alicia as she remained quite shaken with the entire conversation.

“Here… I have a little something you can show Lexa when we meet her”

Alicia quickly grabbed the Polaroid photo. It was of her, Nick and Madison. From a long time ago.

Suddenly, the knot in her throat became unbearable and she was no longer able to hold the tears. “Y-You had this?”

“I’ve kept it, after your mom died”

Negan leaned to look at it “That your mom and your bro, uh?” he held her shoulders, as she looked down, crying.

While Magna and Yumiko also moved to take a look, Alicia stood up and moved away.

Before Benjen could even think, he was also up and following her.

“Alicia” he whispered, taking her hand as she leaned against the car

“If you’re talking shit just leave” she mumbled

He hugged her, from behind “I don’t need to talk at all… I just want to be here”

After a while, Alicia turned and melted in his embrace “Good”

He kissed her forehead “I’m sorry”

“You’re an idiot”

Benjen closed his eyes “I suppose I am…” his arms held her tightly.

_But I love you._ He thought.


	17. CHAPTER 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both Benjen and Lexa find themselves missing eachother as a few flashbacks remind them of their close relationship. 
> 
> The group grows stronger and Benjen is able to put the doubts behind him, while Lexa finds it hard to return to Arkadia, after rescuing Clarke from Azgeda.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> Note that every part in ITALIC is a FLASHBACK.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter!
> 
> Please give me feedback!
> 
> Carly*

_The large group was traveling in the woods, making their way back to the capital after a few visits to the clans. _

_Benjen walked alongside a few other guards, on full alert mode, keeping his eyes on his surroundings and, every once in a while, in the commander, who was on top of the horse, just a few steps away. _

_She was tired, he could tell. These kind of days were always exhausting, for her. Just another necessary burden he wished he could help to carry. There was so much weight on her shoulders and there was nothing he could do to help. As a matter of fact, she had been more distant from him, they rarely had the time to speak, in the past times. _

_She ordered to be given some moments alone, a while later, once they took a break. Of course, being Heda, everyone obeyed, yet Benjen decided to stay close enough. Being Heda had its up’s and down’s and sometimes Lexa forgot how dangerous it was to make such decisions, even if everything seemed to be clear around them. _

_“ACID FOG!” _

_The young man became immediately alert once he heard the warning and quickly ran to his commander. Luckily for them, he knew of a small cavern nearby. “Mafta ai op, Heda!” he grabbed her, quickly, to make her follow_

_Lexa did not question him and soon enough, they reached the cavern, just in time to avoid the acid fog._

_“HEDA!” _

_Both heard from a distance, as they called for her._

_“Hir!” Benjen yelled_

_“Ai’s hir” Lexa also spoke_

_Benjen sighed, resting his head back against the stoned wall. It was a very small place. His eyes observed his commander, who crossed her arms, not amused at the situation._

_“This is going to take a while…” He whispered_

_Lexa shrugged, saying no word. _

_“Leksa…” Benjen looked at her “Are you ok?” _

_Her green eyes looked at him, tiredly, as she hesitated. _

_Benjen smiled “I can’t be sure if you remember but I’ve known you since you were a child.” He teased “Of course now you’re so important you don’t even remember you can talk to me, biga sis” _

_Lexa frowned “That is not…” she looked down “I’m sorry you feel that way” _

_The young man smiled at her, pushing her into a hug “I cannot carry this burden for you, Leksa… But I am here for you. And I miss you” he kissed her forehead _

_The commander closed her eyes, relaxing against him. She had been too focused on everything around her and her duties that she allowed herself to be drowned by all the stress involving the situations. Plus, many of her people kept on missing, taken by the mountain men, and the number of reapers increased everyday, which was making everyone too nervous and edgy. _

_Benjen eventually picked her up in his arms, only to sit on the floor, making sure she could comfortably lie down in his embrace, taking her red cape above her “Dauntaim, Leksa…” he whispered “I am not Costia, but I am told I can be a good pillow” _

_Lexa rolled her eyes “Shof yu op, Benjen” she snuggled against him, letting silence reign for the next moments. _

_“I miss you too, Benjen. I am sorry” she whispered_

_“There is nothing to be sorry for… You are the best Heda Polis ever saw” _

_“I don’t know what else to do, though” She whispered “To stop the reapers… to stop the mountain men” _

_“You will figure it out, Leksa. You cannot attack the mountain with a sword.” He replied “But I have seen you succeed in worse situations” _

_She looked up at him, unsure “Yes? Like what?” _

_He smiled at her, wanting to tell her the list was infinite and he could definitely go on for hours. Leksa had a terrible childhood, being brutally trained alongside the natblidas, she had to go through the worst of situations. She had to go through the hardest of conclaves. _

_She had to survive all that, she grew up to be wise and mainly, still humane. She was the bravest person Benjen knew._

_And she was the person he admired the most. _

_And she was the person he loved the most. _

_She was his sister and he was so proud of her. _

_“Well…” he decided give some twist to the conversation “Like that time you stole a pig to the fleimkepa’s brother.”_

_Her eyes widened “YOU and Anya stole a pig to the fleimkepa’s brother! I took the blame for you… branwoda” _

_Benjen chuckled, remembering that particular situation, from when they were still children. Back then, he usually got into trouble and Lexa usually helped him out of the situations unpunished. Taking the blame for him frequently meant both would leave the situation unharmed, because obviously no one would dare to punish a natblida for silly games of a child. _

_“You did. You kept on saving me, indeed” he smiled “Though I made up for it. I hunted a deer down and offered him to the man” _

_Lexa smiled “That is true, seems to me you have to thank me for your life, Benjen kom Trikru. I always had to take double lessons for saving you from your foolishness” _

_“I missed that smile, as well.” Benjen spoke “You don’t often show it” _

_The commander stared at him, holding his hand, tightly “I am sorry we have been distant” _

_“It matters not how much distant we are, Leksa, as long as you don’t forget I am always here to help you, to serve you… to fight for you and to die for you.” _

_“You are the best warrior in Polis, Benjen” Lexa looked at him “You will not dare to die anytime soon. You will stay by my side”_

_Benjen smiled at her “Always, Leksa kom Trikru” _

_Lexa smiled at him, leaning to kiss his cheek, surprising him. Rare were the times he’d seen her showing or even verbalizing affection. _

_So, he knew he would hold that particular moment too close and vivid in his heart. _

“Can I sit next to you?”

Strand woke Benjen up from his thoughts. They were back in the woods and incredibly close to the clan’s borders, already.

The young man was shocked the car could travel around the country so much faster than he thought. It took them several days to make the way that took him months, on foot.

Yet, they ran out of fuel and had no other option than walk, again. They had stopped near the river at nightfall so they could get some rest. Yet, it was dawn and soon they would depart, again.

“Yes”

The black man sighed, taking the spot on the floor, next to him. Benjen was leaning against a tree. Meanwhile, Negan and the ladies were still sleeping.

“I just want you to know that I was alone, when we met. We have to do tough things, in order to survive. I’m sure you know what I mean”

“I do.” Benjen nodded

“So, why did I offend you so much?”

The younger man turned to Strand, observing him closely “I just want to get to Lexa and my family. We’ve been having lots of obstacles in our way.”

“And yet you got a car and were able to cut this journey a lot shorter than you initially predicted, kid” Strand spoke “I just want to ease the tension. I’m not asking you to be my best friend”

“As long as Alicia is safe. You don’t have to worry about me”

Strand frowned “All I want is her safety. I thought I had lost that young lady, Benjen, I will not lose her again”

Benjen nodded “Good. We are good”

Strand stared at him, not fully satisfied with the conversation, yet knowing there was not much more he could do.

“Ah, there was a cock meeting scheduled for dawn and no one fucking warned me” Negan approached them, still yawning.

“Nah” Strand shrugged “Just can’t no longer walk around with an eye above my shoulder”

“If I meant to hurt you it wouldn’t be in your back” Benjen spoke

Negan chuckled, sitting next to them “I believe him, you should too. Don’t fucking worry though, dude. Me and the kid had a rough fucking start as well, uh?”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. I thought he was stalking Alicia to get into her pants and…. Guess fucking what? I wasn’t so fucking wrong after all, uh?”

Strand chuckled “Seems to me you still have things to figure out” he turned to Benjen “You and Alicia. She likes you”

His eyes turned to the black man, once again, but didn’t question him, so he continued “I have known Alicia forever, kid. Trust me”

“Why the long face, Leonidas?” Negan asked, curiously “Just missing Licia and feeling lonely down there or… what? Something else?”

Benjen shrugged, not replying to Negan, either

“Chil au, yongon” Negan smirked

Of course, those words got Benjen’s attention “Ai laik bloun we, splita”

“Alicia’s already an expert in your language, kid. Even I learned a few fucking words. But what the fuck does splita means”

“It means outsider” Benjen explained “Seems to me you could all find a home in Polis”

“Are you fucking crazy? Who would annoy the shit outta you, then, if I wasn’t there?” Negan chuckled

Benjen smiled at him, finally, then turning to Strand “I am sorry I held you up in the air by your throat”

“Well that’s a very specific apology” Strand joked “I’ll take it” he extended his hand for the young man, finally feeling better. Benjen nodded at him and accepted his handshake.

“I miss Lexa.” Benjen confessed, after a while “She always knew what to tell me”

“We’re fucking close, kid” Negan assured him “You’ll see your sis again and you’ll give her the news you fucking found her twin sis and that happens to be the one you’ve also been banging”

Benjen rolled her eyes “Shof op, Negan”

The man laughed, while Strand also spoke “He is right, though, we are close”

Benjen nodded, observing the ladies “We should wake them up and leave”

“Let them rest, Benjen.” Strand said “Just for a little longer”

Negan smirked “Why don’t you go skinny dipping on the river. I’m fucking sure they would wake up in a better mood”

Strand chuckled, while Benjen seemed confused “Skinny dipping?”

Negan laughed “Y’know. Naked”

For the man’s surprise, Benjen chuckled at the suggestion “I’ll go if you go”

Negan narrowed his eyes at him, with a chuckle “Strand?” he turned to the man

“Oh no!”

“Yes” Benjen stood up, raising Strand to his feet with a single arm “C’mon” he dropped his swords and stripped down from head to toe, before running to dive into the river.

The men laughed, quickly following him and, of course, waking the ladies up, in the meantime.

Alicia sighed, rubbing her eyes as she raised her head to observe what was going on. She noticed Magna and Yumiko doing the same, next to her.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake” Magna rolled her eyes, yet laughed

Alicia turned to watch the men in the river, laughing as they threw water at one another. A smile came to her lips as she watched Benjen, who seemed more relaxed and happier than in the past days. Plus, to her surprise, he was getting along with Strand.

It was once Strand jumped in the water, with his back to them, that she noticed he was naked.

The couple was laughing next to her, while Alicia realized the three were skinny dipping.

“What’s gotten into them?”

“No idea!” Yumiko stood up, approaching the river as the guys called for them.

Alicia’s eyes widened as she watched Magna also standing up, dropping a few items of clothes in her way to the river “Are you crazy?!” she asked

“What? We are in the presence of a committed, a gay and an old man. What’s the problem?” Magna shrugged, diving in, after her lover.

“What the fuck?!” Alicia heard Negan frowning and couldn’t help but laugh out loud. 

“I’ll show you old!” Negan continued, as Alicia couldn’t contain herself.

“Licia, c’mon, join us!”

“Oh, no way, no”

Yumiko glanced at Magna, with a smirk, and both quickly left the water running to Alicia “Oh no no no no! Don’t you dare… YUMIKO!” Alicia tried to run away, but saw herself being grabbed and dragged to the water “MAGNA!”

“What, babe? You’re lucky I aint strippin’ ya. That’d surely be a sight” Magna joked, as both threw her to the water

“UHHH!” Alicia groaned “You are all crazy” she snapped, yet laughed at them.

Everyone seemed to relaxed and happy. For some reason, she felt like they all needed that moment. It put a smile on her face. They would all be alright. She just knew it.

“You are cheating” She heard Benjen approaching her. 

Her eyes could not help but wander around his naked torso, wet and muscled, making her drool before she could notice herself. It wasn’t like she hadn’t seen or touched those muscles, but it was a sight the adored to behold.

“Alicia” he called for her attention.

The brunette blushed, knowing her heart raced at his presence, even more being shirtless and, even more being totally naked, even if clouded by the river’s water.

“I see you’re in a better mood”

He looked down, approaching her “I’m sorry.” He whispered “I don’t want you to be mad at me”

“I am not. Just… sad”

He got close enough to cup her cheeks in his hands “Forgive me, Alicia”

She closed her eyes “Benjen, they are all naked and watching. And you are all naked”

“What is the problem?”

“Do you seriously want me to explain?” Alicia asked

He smiled at her “I just want you to forgive me”

She took a deep breath, looking up at his caramel eyes “You and Strand getting along?”

He nodded “We talked and… I was acting wrong and I apologize. I just want to get back to Polis”

She smiled at him “We are close, Benjen. And we need to stick together.” She whispered, observing the others “Like this. This is good”

The young man smiled “Yes. It is.” He leaned to kiss her forehead “Are we alright, for good?” His eyes observed her closely.

“Yes, Benjen” she whispered, yet moving back “Now get dressed, you _are _naked”

“I don’t see the problem”

“I do” she walked back “Weren’t you in a hurry to get to Polis? C’mon everyone!” she called for them all

“You are no fun, Alicia!” Strand teased

“Shof op!” she chuckled, looking back at Benjen, before walking to her backpack to change from her wet clothes.

Of course, she called everyone’s attention, but she paid them no attention.

Benjen was petrified, still in the water, watching her as she closely removed her top, with her back turned to him, evidencing the curves in her body and her quite attractive bottom. “Spichen” he breathed, taking in as much as he could.

It was only when Negan was chuckling that he noticed he’d been staring as well and, immediately, he threw water at him “Do not stare like that!” he snapped, noticing the ladies also leaving the water, and Magna approaching her. “Hey!”

“Sup?” Magna chuckled at him as he walked out of the water and towards her

“Hey, dress up!” Strand, who had left the water as well, in the meantime, threw his trousers back for him to dress. The young man quickly put them on, before turning to Magna, who was focusing on Alicia again “Do not stare” he frowned, touching her shoulder to push her aside

Magna chuckled “Or what? Uh?”

Benjen frowned at her, while Alica turned to them, with a new pair of trousers but only a bra on “Will you two stop?”

The young man pushed Magna aside “Get out of here” he spoke, before approaching Alicia to kiss her passionately.

She closed her eyes, gladly welcoming him. It had only been a few days, but she was missing him and those lips too much, already.

“And you…” he breathed, looking down at her, once they broke the kiss “… do not undress like that. The whole world stops, you know… and it makes me crazy” he whispered

“Oh?”

“You are beautiful…” he closed his eyes, letting his nose explore her neck and taking her scent in. He loved it. He loved everything about her.

She smiled, holding him close.

Yes, she definitely loved this.

_Benjen ran through the levels of the tower, desperately wanting to get to Lexa’s bedroom. _

_He had heard the news on Costia and traveled all day to be able to return to Polis. _

_His first thought was to go to Azgeda and get the Ice Queen’s head, as well. Yet, he knew better than to start a war, straight away. To start a war while Lexa grieved was not a good idea, she would make hastened decisions, based on revenge more than logic and no one could afford that._

_He decided she needed him more than any of that, at the moment. Plus, he was sure she would get her revenge, eventually. _

_He never knew Costia that well, but he knew how much she meant to Lexa. So he could only imagine how she was._

_“Kefa…” There were a few guards at the doors of her bedroom “No…” they stopped him from entering_

_Benjen frowned, staring at them “Teik ai hod op” he threatened so they would let him in._

_“Ai don tel yu op bilaik em nou na ge get daun” They spoke_

_“Benjen” _

_The young warrior turned back to see his father approaching “Nontu” _

_“Heda ste pis” _

_Benjen frowned, knowing obviously she wasn’t alright. “I am going inside” _

_His father nodded at him, then at the men “Min yu op” _

_Benjen opened the doors, quickly closing them behind him. Lexa was nowhere in sight, at the moment. Yet, after a few seconds she spoke._

_“Bants!” she snapped_

_“Heda” he whispered, finally spotting her, near the balcony, with her back on him. Yet, once she heard his voice she turned. _

_He could see she had been crying. He could see the anger in her eyes and he could see the exhaustion in her, as well. _

_“Gon we, Benjen” she said, in a lower tone, turning away, once again._

_“Nowe” he whispered, approaching her, touching her shoulder, gently “Moba… Moba, Leksa” _

_His words seemed to have a bigger effect on her than he initially thought. And, for the first time in forever, he saw the tears uncontrollably dropping from her eyes. Immediately, he held her close to him “I’m so sorry, Leksa” _

_“I can’t do this”_

_“Yes, you can” Benjen hugged her close to his body “You can and you will. You will get Nia’s head, for this, I assure you. Costia’s death won’t be in vain” _

_“All I want is to order you to get the army marching for Azgeda right now” she said_

_“But you will not, Leska” he held her cheeks and made him look at her “Because you know that is not wise. And you know she will expect you” he whispered “You are smarter than that. And you are stronger than that as well.” _

_Lexa sighed, feeling no strength for anything at all._

_“Come” _

_Benjen took her up in his arms and laid her in her bed, comfortably “You need to eat, as well. I will order some food and you will rest” _

_“No” she spoke, wiping the tears still in her eyes “Stay” _

_He showed her a small smile and joined her, holding her close to him, once again. _

_“Take your time. You will get through this” He kissed her forehead _

_Lexa did not reply, instead, she just let the tears fall as her mind screamed at her -_ _She deserved so much better. I should have been there. I failed her. -_

_“Shhh… Any of this is your fault” he whispered, as if reading her thoughts. “She wouldn’t want this” _

_The commander gulped, but said no other word. _

_“Reshop nau, Heda” he whispered._

_She did, eventually. _

_And, eventually, he watched her as she made the smart move, indeed. Instead of the logical reaction, Benjen watched her welcoming Nia and her clan into the coalition, shocking everyone. _

_Yet, he knew. She was doing the right thing and she would have her chance to get at Nia. _

“Lexa…?”

The brunette was woken up from her thoughts by Raven, who was sitting in front of her.

After getting Clarke from Azgeda, they made their way back to Arkadia. Nothing changed, after those events. Yet, she knew she had to leave that place, again. She needed to be out there and help her people. They were delaying the inevitable. And if she was an important key to achieve peace, she would do it.

Plus, if Clarke had been holding her decision back, she still felt too hurt with her actions, as well.

So she felt the need to act, as well, whether Clarke approved or not.

“Raven”

“Are you ok? Still not talking to Clarke?”

The former commander frowned “I talk to Clarke”

“Yeah, but you still mad” Raven whispered

“She locked me up and…!”

“Yes, yes, I know!” Raven raised her hands up in defeat “But she’s apologizing all the time and working hard on the plans, Lexa. She’s trying”

“I know” Lexa whispered.

And she did, indeed, know. She knew Clarke too well, already.

She loved her too much.

Yet she felt the need to act.

He biggest hesitation, at the moment, was if she should or not tell Clarke.

“C’mon, you both need to solve things”

“Everything is solved, Raven” Lexa leaned back, observing Clarke on the other side of the room, talking to Monty and Bellamy.

“So, what is it you need? Time?” Raven spoke “I get it…”

Lexa sighed, not replying for a few moments “I need Benjen…” she whispered, eventually

“Who? I thought you weren’t straight, girl…”

Lexa ignored her comment. Her mind drifted to her friend, once again. He had always been there when she needed him.

Always.

And she knew he would make her feel better.


	18. CHAPTER 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alicia and Benjen make progress as they face an unexpected problem.
> 
> Clarke and Lexa come to an agreement.
> 
> WARNING - Some smut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING - Contains smut.
> 
> This is a shorter chapter and Alicia is closer and closer to her sister.
> 
> Please give me feedback, I hope you are enjoying.
> 
> Carly*

“If you ever cross paths with someone and for some reason I am not there, do tell them you are with me, Benjen kom Trikru. They will most likely doubt you but will not hurt you without being sure”

They were walking through the forest, paying attention to Benjen’s words, in the past few days. He had been telling them important details of his people and their ways. Things that could be useful, once within the clan’s external borders.

“Do not trust Azgeda. They are the most quarrelsome.” He explained

Alicia had paid full attention to him, mesmerized at his determination and excitement. She grew fonder and fonder of him. And she didn’t care to go against it. It had been such a long time since she had someone so close to her, who was actually able to move worlds for her. He had crossed the country to find her, after all. Not that he’d ever guessed things would turn that way, for them, but still, it was overwhelming.

And she loved it.

“How do you think the situation with Skaikru is?” Alicia asked him.

Benjen had told them everything he knew, ever since the time their ship dropped, to the battle where they lost hundreds, to the fact Lexa was, right before he left, considering to allow them to join the coalition.

“I have no idea” Benjen honestly replied “I know I don’t trust them. And most don’t, either, that is if things haven’t changed so much. This is why it’s so important you explain you are with me”

“Why’s that, kid?” Strand asked “They’ll think we’re from the sky?”

Benjen looked at him, seriously “You are quite similar, yes”

“Really?” Yumiko asked “I thought you said they have great tech”

“I am not the best person to discuss technology” he whispered “But they are good at exploding things”

Negan smiled “Eugene would fucking love them”

“I know this place” Benjen suddenly raised his arm, so everyone stopped.

“Benjen?” Magna asked

“We are too close to the borders. There are traps in these fields, from now on”

Alicia observed him, then the territory in front of her “Oookay…” she took a deep breath “So what do you suggest?”

“I see no one near” Strand stated, just after throwing other binoculars to Yumiko, so both could check

“Seems clear, yes” She agreed

“Everyone please be careful and walk slowly. Eyes up and down” Benjen whispered

“Is there some kind of short cut, Benjen? I can sense this isn’t safe ground” Alicia whispered, kneeling down to touch the floor “Can you feel it?”

Magna immediately knelt next to her, doing the same “Yes, there is something underground”

“We could be walking over a herd” Benjen spoke

“What the shit?” Negan quickly moved to, also, feel it.

“Wait…!” Benjen tried to warn, but it was too late, Negan was already buried in a hole on the floor. The only thing preventing him from falling down was Strand, who held him before it happened

“Fuck!” he groaned, painfully

Benjen immediately felt the danger increasing. If there was, indeed, a herd underneath them, they had just call for their full attention. He immediately moved to help Strand pushing Negan up, only to notice he was injured in the right leg.

“We have to move!” Magna warned, grabbing Yumiko’s arm “Now” she looked at Benjen

Right after they were able to pull Negan out, they could already notice the walkers crawling their way up. It was as if the soil was too dry and weak and easy to break.

It was like walking on a frozen river.

“Negan!” Alicia worriedly looked at Negan’s leg “He needs help so he can walk!”

Strand nodded “I’m here. Let’s move!”

“Shit!” Yumiko cursed “They are coming up, hurry!”

Alicia was the first moving, focusing on the floor, despite her unfamiliarity with the ground.

The ladies were right behind her, just like Strand and Negan.

It was only after a while that she noticed Benjen was staying behind, fighting the walkers that were already able to climb from underneath the ground “BENJEN!” she yelled

“Go!” he turned to her “You’ll have advantage”

Alicia frowned, holding tightly onto her machine gun barrel “Like hell I’ll go” she spoke, running past the others to run to Benjen

“Alicia!” Negan shouted, even if in pain, once he saw her moving back

“Alicia?!” Benjen was shocked once he also noticed her running to him “No! Just go!” he was suddenly stressed, to see her running in such unstable soil “Do not run! The ground isn’t… AH!”

Alicia stopped in her spot, for a moment, shocked.

Just as he was warning her about the fragile ground, he took a step forward and probably into a weaker spot, that gave in, immediately. All she saw as him, struggling, as the ground gave in, forming a hole.

And soon, he was nowhere in sight.

“Benjen!” she ran towards the spot, taking the approaching walkers out. There were a few arrows and bullets taking the walkers, as well, so she knew the others were covering her.

“Alicia!”

She sighed in relief, once she heard his voice “Benjen, where are you?”

“It is not a high fall!” he explained “Look, you have to run away with the others, I think I can mislead the herd, from here!”

The young lady looked at the hole, after taking a few other walkers. Many others were approaching and she had to move, soon.

But she had made her decision already.

Looking back to the others, who were now scared to move, she raised the walkie she kept on her backpack, knowing they would understand her message – they would have to be separated for a while and would have to plan their rendezvous through the walkies.

And, right after that, she jumped to the hole.

Benjen was right, it wasn’t a high fall. She fell into what seemed a dark tunnel.

Yet, he seemed shocked once he saw her there. He was already planning his next move around the spot when she fell down there.

“Alicia, what are you…?!”

Before he could finish, Alicia was already on her feet and jumping to his arms, curling her legs around his waist, kissing him passionately.

“Hmmm…” he moaned, feeling too horny. “You’ll be the death of me, my lady”

She smiled at him “What? You think I’d let you take on a herd all alone?”

He smirked, caressing her face before kissing her again “Yu laik meizen” he mumbled

“An yu laik fanas, Benjen kom Trikru”

“Fanas? Ai?” he chuckled, as both were interrupted by the sounds of walkers.

“Yes, you” Alicia chuckled, as Benjen put her down “so what do we do now?”

“Here’s my plan…” he whispered “Some might fall from the hole, soon. But this path is the one we already made.” He pointed to their north east. “Our group is the other way and… check this out…” he signaled her to follow him.

She did as commanded and soon, just at the end of that small tunnel, she noticed there was a huge space, a few meters down their altitude, filled with one of the biggest herds she has ever seen.

“What the hell…” she breathed “People from your borders did this?”

“Probably… this place seems to have been designed to contain them. Though it is the first time I’ve been down here” he looked at her

“So…” She gulped “You think we should blow this up, cuz this area is safe, and we go the other way around?”

“I can’t be sure of the dimension of this, but yes, if we draw them here, we only need to wait for the other end to be clear.” He signaled her to follow him, once again. Once they turned, they saw already a few walkers falling from the hole.

“Shit” Alicia cursed, already moving to take them down

“I saw a safe spot, not far from the other way!” Benjen spoke, helping her

“Alright, Iet’s do it” she agreed “But I say I walkie the others, they may be able to get us from the other side”

Benjen shrugged “I can’t be sure of what is on the end of these tunnels, Alicia”

“Well, we’ll see, but we’ll have to get to them anyway”

He nodded at her “I hate to see this but… you happen to have one of those tiny things that blow up?”

Alicia smirked “I have a few grenades we got back in that police station” she moved “I’ll get it done, take these down?” she approached him, looking up at him, intensely

Benjen gulped, mesmerized by her “Yes” he spoke, moving his sword to behead a walker without even moving his eyes from her

“Let’s blow this shit up, then” she smirked, walking away and picking the walkie up in her hands, in the meantime, trying to reach her friends to fill them up on their plan.

She felt Benjen behind her just after a while, as she bent over the end of the tunnel to look for the farthest spot she could throw the grenade at. Both knew they would have to move back, quickly, since the place wasn’t stable.

“Maybe two grenades, uh?” Alicia wondered

“Isn’t that too much? We should hurry, the dead keep falling, so it means many climbed already.”

“This will call their attention” Alicia spoke “Then we get to the safe area and wait for the herd to pass” she took a deep breath

“Sha” he spoke

“Alright…” she got two grenades ready and quickly threw one right after another. “Let’s go now!”

Benjen quickly moved back “Follow me”

She did as commanded and, soon, both heard and felt the grenades blowing up, surely taking down part of the upper soil, as well. The impact caused the tunnels to tremble, as well.

“It will hold, we are close, come” Benjen spoke

Alicia observed as they reached a bigger area were several tunnels crossed. Benjen was right, that was certainly a designed space to contain the walkers.

“Here!”

There was an higher area that was probably meant for guards or people to keep watch.

Benjen quickly helped her up and climbed, himself, just in time for them to notice the upcoming walkers, from all the tunnels.

They were following the noise.

Their plan was ongoing.

“Yes, it’s working!” Alicia whispered, not wanting to call for their attention

Benjen smiled “Now, we wait” he spoke, behind her

She turned to him, showing him a smile “So…” she put her things down, hesitating for a few moments “Any suggestions on how to spend time?”

A huge smirk appeared on Benjen’s lips “Several”

She bit her lip “I can think of a few, as well”

His pupils immediately dilated and he moved towards Alicia, picking her up in his arms, leaning in for a passionate kiss as he moved to back her against the walls.

The sounds of the dead, walking right underneath them, could have not matter less, in that moment.

They have been secretly waiting for a moment like that.

Probably more than they knew.

Alicia played with his hair, sighing into Benjen’s kiss. She wondered if he knew how much she wanted him. So, she moved to unfasten the several belts around his torso, trying to get rid of his clothes, desperately wanting to see and touch his skin

“I don’t want to do anything you don’t want, Alicia” Benjen whispered, out of breath.

She smiled, feeling his hardness against her “I think you do want something”

“Spichen… I want you so bad” he whispered “I want to feel every inch of you. I was just saying…”

“Shhh” she silenced him with a kiss “I want this, I want you, Benjen”

The young man bit his lip “You are really going to be my death someday” he spoke, kissing her passionately, once again, letting his hands now freely explore her body.

Her skin was so soft it scared him he might not be worthy of such privilege. Her eyes seduced him all the time, closing every now and then as his lips explored everything he could reach from her face and neck and, eventually, her breasts, once he got rid of her clothes. 

“Yu laik meizen, Alicia” he whispered “Too beautiful”

Alicia’s breath was unsteady, already. She had managed to get rid of his top, but found no strength to anything else, once he started his ministrations on her. It had been too long, for her. She felt immensely needy and horny.

“Benjen…” she whispered, her hands exploring the muscles on his abdomen “Get naked already”

He smirked, holding her up with a single arm as he unbuttoned his pants to make them fall down his legs.

“Impressive, Benjie”

“Benjie?” He whispered, focusing on her, once again

“Sounds right” she looked at him “It’s been a while, for me”

He smiled, lovingly, at her “Tell me to stop and I will…” he whispered, moving to her lips, once again.

He could kiss her until the end of times.

***Arkadia***

It was too late in the night, yet Lexa couldn’t sleep.

She had been wondering what she should do, for hours. She had been awake for a long time, thinking whether she should just leave and try to amend things once and for all, or if she should wake Clarke first and tell her about her plans.

The blonde was sleeping on the bed. She had been trying to talk to Lexa, but the brunette hasn’t allowed her to share very long conversations. Even if they had talked about Clarke’s flee to Azgeda, Clarke knew Lexa was still too hurt with it.

And she was.

Yet now she had everything ready to do the same, except with larger chances to succeed, she hesitated.

Clarke always made her hesitate.

“Lexa?”

The brunette suddenly saw Clarke moving from the bed to approach her. Lexa was sitting on a chair, in front of the door.

She was surprised with Clarke, she was sure she was sleeping just a few moments before.

“You are planning to leave…”

It wasn’t a question.

It was a statement.

A statement Lexa didn’t bother to counter.

It was true, after all.

Yet, Lexa saw the sudden panic on Clarke’s expression “No”

Lexa frowned at her, as Clarke continued “Lexa, you are not going anywhere”

“You are not stopping me, Clarke”

“Yes, I am!” Clarke defied, as Lexa stood up “What is this about, revenge? You want to get your revenge after I went to talk to Roan, Lexa?”

“This is about ending the war, Clarke” Lexa spoke “You know I might have a bigger influence”

Clarke was panicking and Lexa could see it “Of course I know it! You will also have a bigger chance to get hurt, for god’s sake!”

“That didn’t seem to stop you from going to Azgeda’s camp”

“Argh!” Clarke sighed, in frustration, before approaching Lexa “Please don’t go?”

“I have to go, Clarke”

“No, you don’t!” The blond pushed Lexa against the wall.

The brunette let her, not wanting to use her strength on Clarke.

She was never able to use her strength on the blond.

“I will go and you will not stop me”

The blonde frowned, looking at Lexa’s green eyes.

Suddenly, she crashed her lips against the brunette’s.

“Clarke…” Lexa spoke, as the blonde moved from her lips to her neck, devouring her skin.

_This is a low blow._ Lexa thought.

Clarke knew Lexa could never resist her.

“Please, Lexa…” Clarke whispered in her ear, as she bit her ear lobe. Her hands explored the brunette’s body, unclothing her as she did so.

Lexa had her eyes closed, already seduced and wanting Clarke too much. Both have been away from each other ever since the events on Azgeda camp, and both were missing each other too much.

“Clarke…” Lexa breathed as the blonde’s lips reached her already naked nipples, while her hands boldly moved underneath her pants.

“Hmmm?”

“I…oh…”

“What, babe?” Clarke pushed her pants down and her hand was already exploring her flooding center

“Spichen…”

Clarke smiled, moving up to make eye contact with Lexa, who opened her eyes, once she stopped “What?”

Lexa narrowed her eyes at her, as if in a warning, which amused Clarke even more “So, can I negotiate?”

“You do like to negotiate” Lexa mumbled

“If I can’t convince you to stay, then I’ll go with you”

“No” Lexa’s response was automatic

“We do this together, Lexa. I’m sorry I went to talk to Roan alone. I said it before. You were right and I’m sorry. But I still cannot let you do this alone. I need to be there, I can’t lose you again. I’m sorry…” Clarke looked at her

“Clarke…”

“Please?” Clarke moved closer “We’ll be in danger but we’ll be together. To get this finished once and for all… and be in peace, together… with no fear”

Lexa stared at her, finally showing her a small smile, making Clarke feel relieved

“Aright, good, please don’t scare me like this babe…” Clarke breathed

“I still haven’t agreed” Lexa spoke, grabbing Clarke’s waist, securely.

“Oh…”

“First you finish what you started…” Lexa moved to kiss Clarke’s neck “Then I’ll think about it”

Clarke smiled “You’re stunning”

“No… you are”


	19. CHAPTER 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa and Clarke leave to try and find the best solution to stop the war. 
> 
> Benjen, Alicia and the rest of the group finally reach the clan's borders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> Hope you enjoy this chapter!
> 
> Please comment!
> 
> Love,
> 
> Carly

Benjen was standing at the edge of the safe area where both he and Alicia had been for the past hours. He was observing the fewer walkers passing by, but he believe soon it would be safer to try and leave that place.

Alicia was peacefully sleeping, behind him, laying naked on top of a small blanket and their own clothes, since they had nothing else to lay on. They had food, however.

Everyone always carried the essentials, with them, in case they needed to be separate, just like in that case. However, they had agreed, for their journey, each member would carry specific things. And, while Benjen carried most of the non-fire weapons, Alicia carried most of their food and healing supplies. Magna, Negan and lately, Strand, carried most of the heavy weapons, while Yumiko always carried most of the stuff for them to set small camps.

_“Alicia?” _

Benjen looked at the walkie in his hands. He had been holding it, so he wouldn’t have to bother Alicia while they didn’t have to leave.

“This is Benjen” he replied “She’s resting”

_“Hey, lukot. How are things over there?”_ Magna asked

“Quiet. We may be able to try and leave soon. There are less and less dead.”

_“Alright, good. We are trying to find a way in, anyway. There has to be a way to make it down there without falling down”_

“Yes, but my guess is the entrance should be at the clan’s borders, already. It is the first time I am down here, Magna. But nature didn’t create this. Humans did”

_“Well, we’ll figure it out, anyway. Meanwhile, when you feel it’s safe, warn us”_

“Sha, ai lukot.” Benjen whispered “How’s Negan?”

_“He’s holding up, but it kinda looks messy. There’s no bite, though, so that’s a relief. But Alicia should take a look, once you get to us. Plus she has the proper stuff for it”_

Benjen looked back at his lover and an instant smile came to his lips. “Sha, Magna”

_“Alright, we’ll be on this side. Over”_

The young man turned, observing her majestic body, whose back was turned up. He licked his lips, taking in every curve of soft skin that he already longed for, so badly.

He couldn’t feel happier.

He doubted he ever felt that way, before.

“Hmmm”

His smile widened, as she stirred, moving closer to kneel from behind her, kissing all the way up her back and stopping on her neck, holding his own weight up, with an arm on each side of her head.

“Ha yun, ai snogon” he mumbled, in her neck

“Hmmmm” Alicia took her time, waking up. Yet, Benjen felt his heart warming up once he saw her sweet smile, even if she still kept her eyes closed “Ha yun, ai niron”

He smiled widely, as she opened her eyes and turned, slowly, to look up at him. She bit her lip once she saw him hovering her, also still naked “That is a great sight” her hands quickly moved to touch the hard skin of his muscled chest.

“I say the same” he looked down at her “Yu laik hayon, ai snogon.”

Alicia smiled, moving her arms up to surround his neck and pull him down for a kiss. Benjen had been gentle with her, even if there was this inner unconscious rougher side of him, and it seduced her even more.

“Ha yu?” he whispered, turning them around so she was comfortably lying on his chest

“Oh, I am good” she smiled “You doubt your skills, oh mighty warrior?”

“Uh…” he hesitated “I haven’t been in this position before, you know”

Alicia raised an eyebrow, moving up to look at him “I don’t believe you”

Benjen was surprised at her reaction “Uh…” he smiled “The ladies usually just stayed with me for the act, you know. I mean, I have never been with someone I… cared about as much as I care about you. You are different, Alicia”

She smiled, lovingly, at him.

And now she thought of it, she kind of related to his words.

A lot.

Maybe that was why it felt so special.

So good.

_Dear God, I am totally smitten by him._

“You were a player, uh? Such a naughty boy” 

He looked up at her “I can’t be sure what you mean, Alicia. I would never play games with you”

“Oh? Why not…?” she bit her lip, caressing his chest

Benjen sighed “I-I… well, we’ll do whatever you wish”

She smiled “I can be in charge then? Interesting. I kinda loved that dominant Benjen a few hours ago”

He gulped, once again, trying to concentrate, yet too distracted with her touch “I… I’m confused”

Alicia laughed “You are adorable”

“I… uh… I have never been in this position before, Alicia. I do not want to mess things up. I want you, Alicia”

The young lady smiled at him “Hey… relax” she whispered “We are here for each other, we learn from each other. There is nothing to be confused about. I want you, too, Benjie”

Benjen sighed, smiling up at her “So it was that good?”

She chuckled “Do not get too cocky, boy” she moved to straddle him “I may have to do something about it” she moved to kiss his neck, rubbing her hips against him, applying the perfect pressure to make him go insane.

“Spichen…” he breathed

***Arkadia***

“Kane is out, again, working on fortifying our ties with the clans” Clarke explained, as she left alongside Lexa. She didn’t have the courage to tell her mother, though she made sure Raven and Bellamy knew both were leaving. That way, they would keep them updated on every kind of information. Plus, they would be in contact, all the time.

“Azgeda has been quiet for a while now, but after the events with you, they were surely testy. They won’t be quiet for long” Lexa spoke “So, Kane can continue his quest, but it is useless, now”

Clarke gulped “You want to show yourself right away”

Lexa shrugged “We will go to TonDC”

The blonde took a deep breath “Alright…”

The next moments were too quiet. Lexa knew her lover was scared. She could feel the blonde’s mind running the marathon and wished to comfort her, somehow.

Truth was, she had no idea how.

Lexa was equally scared.

But she knew she could not live in fear. She knew that her whole life and always acted in its accordance. Everything seemed different, after she almost died, yes. She had needed a break, she had needed time for recovery, time to be with Clarke. And it was too good. It would be so easy to just be like that every day and give up everything else. Yes, that was a temptation almost impossible to resist.

Yet, the brunette knew it was time to do what had to be done. She even knew she should have done this a while before.

Maybe it wouldn’t be as bad as they predicted.

She hoped that maybe, after this conflict, people could understand there was no need for constant war. Maybe people could understand they needed to be able to find peace.

Maybe…

She could only hope she could do everything right.

There was only one thing she couldn’t risk – Clarke.

“Here…”

The couple had been riding for hours, apprehensively, and they didn’t share long conversations.

Clarke observed as Lexa motioned her to follow and did as commanded. They were already near TonDC and both could already sense the movements, nearby. She knew Lexa wasn’t careless to simply walk in without warning and show herself. Lexa would want to know how things were, in there, first.

“Lemme guess…” Clarke whispered as Lexa led her to a small hidden place, in the woods “You want to wait till morning and do reckon and then you’ll think of something”

The brunette ignored her as she carefully entered the place to check it. She guessed it should still be abandoned. “I used to come here as a child, with Benjen” she mentioned “We can get some rest, here”

Clarke looked at her, her blue eyes softening as she caught her green petrifying ones, staring back at her “He meant quite a lot to you, uh?”

Lexa looked back at her “You would have liked him”

Clarke sighed, taking a step towards her lover “I’m scared”

“I know…” Lexa whispered “It will be alright”

“How can you know that, Lex?”

Clarke watched as Lexa moved around, trying to find a relatively good spot for them to rest. When she seemed to be content with a darker corner, directly facing the only entrance to the place, she made herself as comfortable as possible and the blonde followed, sitting in front of her so she could face her.

The brunette studied her lover’s apprehensive expression and moved to take her hand “It is hard to change the ways of the people, Clarke. Traditions, beliefs… it is part of the culture. How do you change that?”

Clarke observed her “You were the revolutionary Heda… you would know that” she showed her a small smile

“I changed as much as I could based in what I believed was best. And many of those changes were because you made me change, too, Clarke.”

The blonde nodded “Yes, and I almost got you killed”

“And I got Costia killed”

There was a sudden knot in Clarke’s throat, at Lexa’s words. She was not expecting them and she wasn’t quite sure of how to reply. She knew Costia’s death would haunt her lover forever and she wished there was something she could ever do to ease that pain.

To convince her it wasn’t really her fault.

But she knew the feeling and she knew Lexa’s words came out with the same intent.

“My people only know violence, Clarke. Ever.” Lexa whispered and Clarke couldn’t help but notice how she referred to the Grounders as _her_ people. “Our whole history is violence, we know no other reality. We are only born to survive and it has been so for generations.” She explained “I was forced to know how to wield a sword before I even had the strength to hold it up”

Clarke’s ocean eyes couldn’t move from Lexa’s green ones. She gulped, knowing already Lexa might have had the worst of childhoods, though she never talked much about it. Or about anything. Yet to hear those small words, those small confessions made her whole spine shiver.

“So I knew the consequences of trying to make people believe that violence must not answer violence.” Lexa explained “Jus drein no jus daun was received negatively and wildly, exactly like when I first formed the coalition of the twelve clans. It took its time, but it stopped a lot of wars. And I believed it would have been the same, eventually, if I had not…”

“… been technically murdered” Clarke finished for her

“I believed that once we were able to live in peace, we could teach peace to our children. Our children would see the world differently and would pass their views to their children and so on…”

Clarke bit her lip, feeling the knot in her throat becoming almost unbearable. It fascinated her the good amount of thought Lexa had given to that.

“It was ruined, though. You were gone and things got a lot worse.” Clarke spoke

“Wait…” Lexa whispered “Have you thought about what would have happened, then?”

Clarke frowned “What does it matter, Lex?”

“The problem would have been Pike.” Lexa whispered “We were even more endangered because he was leading skaikru. Had you remained in the coalition, peacefully, there would be no trouble.”

Clarke stared at her lover, knowing she was right. Clarke was only endangered because she was a skaikru member walking alongside Heda in Polis, after Pike murdered thousands and wasn’t going to stop. Clarke was endangered because she was the traitor who was too close to Heda. And Lexa was endangered because she allowed Clarke to do so.

“Azgeda would have tried something, eventually, anyway”

“Clarke, I have dealt with Azgeda my whole life. Roan is a reasonable leader.” Lexa explained “What is happening now is the result of Ontari’s doings and their wish for power. Now the flame is missing and they want to be in charge. It is the first time in our history that this is happening”

The blonde observed her, carefully, now understanding Lexa was probably trying to get to a certain point “Where do you want to get to, Lexa?”

The brunette sighed “Clarke… your people want peace. I know this. Many other clans know this, particularly now. Pike is no longer in charge.” She looked down at the blonde’s hand in her own “I cannot be sure I want to lead again, I cannot know what will happen. But I hope that, if we stop this, we will have a bigger reception to just drein no jus daun.”

The blonde nodded, understanding her words “Yes. People are scared”

Lexa nodded “They are panicked. They do not feel safe and they feel like they have no one to protect them.” She sighed “All they know is violence, yes, but they are not foolish. They do know when they stand no chance and now they are in panic. Violence is not their salvation here and every one of them knows this. This could be the key to start something new” Lexa spoke “If this goes right, Clarke, then we will be free, there will be no danger for you and me. No one would question us or come after us” she shrugged “And if this goes wrong, then we know we did what we thought was best. Because locking ourselves away was only temporary, Clarke. Running away would be the coward choice and would still not fully save us. And doing this allows us to fight, not only for our people but… for us”

Clarke was now incapable of holding her tears. She was amazed and felt like those words were the motivation she needed. And she hadn’t realized how much she needed it.

She moved to hug her lover, tightly “I love you”

Lexa’s hand caressed her face, wiping her tears away “Ai hod yu in, Klok”

“You are the best,” Clarke breathed, moving up, once again, to stare at her lover “You should rule the world, you know. You are amazing, Lex. I’m so proud of you. God…” she breathed, kissing her hand “Thank you, Lex”

The brunette seemed confused “What for, Clarke? You are just as much a leader as I am”

Clarke shocked her head “Not nearly as insightful, brave, intelligent and visionary as you. And hot”

“Yes you are…” Lexa held her cheeks

“Plus… you shut up, Lexie... you are talking too much now I ain’t used to it”

Lexa showed her a genuine full smile, making Clarke melt. She loved to see her smile and she didn’t so often, nor with that intensity.

“You are beautiful, Lex”

“That is you, Clarke.”

The blonde leaned to kiss her lover, passionately. Yet, their also needy kiss didn’t last long, since they heard the noise of someone approaching, already too close to the entrance.

Both quickly stood up and were ready for anything, when Octavia and Indra broke through the door. They weren’t expecting someone to be on the inside, and Clarke knew straight away they were probably searching for a quiet place, as well.

Yet, her biggest surprise was to see Octavia.

Both warriors got immediately ready for combat once they noticed their presence. But soon retreated as they recognize them.

Both of them.

“Heda…!” Indra gasped, dropping her sword

“So the rumors were indeed true” Octavia spoke, observing them.

“Indra… Octavia” Lexa took a deep breath, observing them calmly.

“Octavia!” Clarke approached her “How are you?”

She nodded at her, but turned to Lexa once again “Why did you hide all this time?”

“Lexa was recovering!” Clarke immediately intervened “She was lucky she survived it. She needed the time”

Octavia didn’t show it, but Clarke knew she understood.

“Are you well, now?” Indra asked Lexa

“I am.”

“And what are you doing here?” Octavia asked

“We are here to stop this war” Clarke spoke, once again, knowing Octavia’s tone wasn’t always so well received and was attempting to avoid a conflict.

“How?”

Clarke gulped, glancing at Lexa, before turning to the ladies, yet again “How are things, over here?”

Indra looked at her “Everyone is scared. We agreed to join Skaikru, as others have too. But we cannot leave our places unguarded. We cannot know exactly who Azgeda might attack first”

“Have you sent men to Azgeda’s camps?” Lexa asked

“No one ever returned”

“Azgeda is growing everyday, in numbers, they may have a tight watch on perimeters” Lexa spoke

“Azgeda will attack either TonDC or Arkadia now. They do not care about getting more men, now. They want to finish this and reassure themselves as leaders, they will want to claim all the land of the clans” Clarke said “And the only ones that may still be a bigger threat is Arkadia or Trikru.”

“Did you get the flame back?” Octavia wondered

“O…” Clarke intervened again “No.”

“Will you?” Octavia insisted

Indra stepped forward as well “You are the legitimate leader, Heda”

Lexa observed them, silently. She couldn’t deny how conflicted she was about the matter.

“We should not be discussing this now…”

“Why not? Azgeda will want to get their hands on the flame, too”

“Yes, but that is not their main goal, for now”

“I am sure they have specific men working on it, though” Lexa finally spoke, stepping forward to them “What was on your mind? Why are you here?”

Octavia stared at the brunette, pondering her response “Well, we decided that this alliance with skaikru won’t be effective if we don’t foresee Azgeda’s next move.” She explained “So we were going there”

Clarke looked at Lexa and the former commander knew instantly she was already forming some kind of plan.

Truth was, she also thought of something.

“Who would stay here?” Lexa asked as both stared at her, not replying.

“You should stay, Indra.” Lexa continued “People look up to you, you are a great warrior.”

“Octavia shouldn’t go alone in this…” Indra started but Clarke intervened

“She’s not going alone” Clarke spoke “We are going with her” She turned to Lexa, who nodded at her. The brunette knew her plan was to come to TonDC, but she had already found they wouldn’t be useful, in there.

“Meanwhile…” Lexa continued the blonde’s words “Those radio skaikru often use are useful for quick information.

“We already have contact with Arkadia” Octavia explained

“Then it’s settled!” Clarke spoke

“You have to take at least someone else” Indra spoke “I can get some…”

“No…!” Clarke quickly spoke, making the three others stare at her

Octavia smiled “What? People have to know about Lexa. She only gives them hope”

“Only a few people know…” Clarke explained “Maybe we just…”

Lexa touched Clarke’s shoulder, in order to calm her down. She was still too edgy about revealing the brunette “Radio Raven and tell her to get Bellamy. He would do fine with us”

Octavia frowned “No way”

Lexa looked at her “That was a statement”

“You don’t give me orders”

“You can either join us or not. If you do, you will not install conflict. We fight as one, or we all die” Lexa spoke

“O… you need to talk to Bellamy eventually. You can’t go on like this forever” Clarke said

“Yes I can” Octavia spoke

“Well… at least try to ease our job?”

Octavia took a deep breath, staring at Lexa, again “I am glad you are alive.”

Clarke sighed “Alright, good! Can we rest for only a couple of hours? I don’t think I can handle leaving right now…”

Lexa nodded at her “Radio Raven, in the meantime”

“Sure…”

Not so far from there, Alicia was walking alongside Benjen, as they tried to reach the surface. The herd had stayed behind, for sure, but they still weren’t in a totally safe area.

_“Where are you guys? We found a way in” _

It was Magna’s voice, in the radio.

Alicia quickly put it over her lips “Hold on, don’t move, we are probably reaching you” she glanced at Benjen, who concentrated on their path.

The place seemed like a maze, even if one of the paths was the larger one. So they made sure to follow it.

“There has to be a place we…”

“There!” Benjen quickly interrupted the young lady, running to a dark corner where he found few messy and muddy stairs “Let’s hope this leads to the surface”

“God, I hope so. Let’s go”

As they stepped up, it took them only a couple of minutes to find some natural light “Yes!” Alicia snapped

“Shhh” Benjen quickly spoke “This is a guarded zone. People might be in the area. And remember, now we need to keep you safe”

Alicia looked at him “I’ll be fine”

“Still, I can’t risk it” He whispered, as they took the final steps to reach the surface.

They carefully observed the area but found no strangers.

Their friends were not there, either, but soon they spotted them. Benjen knew then, they had several entrances to what surely seemed like a maze. It fascinated him.

“Negan!” Alicia exclaimed, running to meet him, who was sitting on the floor, next to an entrance, alongside Magna, Yumiko and Strand.

“Finally, we got you back” Yumiko sighed, hugging Benjen “There are several entrances, aren’t there?”

“Yes. They contain the dead a lot more and a lot better than everyone is aware of”

Yumiko nodded at him, before turning to Alicia, who was already taking a look at Negan’s leg.

“It’s fucking fine, really… Ah! Fuck, young lady!” he groaned

Alicia smiled at him “I thought so… let’s patch this better. It seems clean, though, maybe you’ll be a lucky one and do not get an infection”

“I’m a tough mother fucker, Licia.” He smiled at her, as she put a few bandages over his leg.

“I know.” She smiled back at him

“So… someone needs to help him walk. We’ll take turns” Strand spoke

“Yes” Alicia smiled up at him

“Guys…” Magna sighed “So…” she spoke “We made it?”

Benjen smiled at them “We are in the borders. So yes…” he looked forward “Welcome to a whole new reality.”

Alicia gulped.

This is where everything changes.

This is where she’ll meet her sister.

_Lexa._


	20. CHAPTER 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group facethe new reality, as they enter Benjen's familiar territory. 
> 
> What will happen when they get to know all that happened?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> Forgive me, I know it's been ages. But hey, here's a looong chapter and I hope to keep up.
> 
> I'm really sorry, but I've been too busy with work, mainly with this whole pandemic situation. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy this!
> 
> Give me feedback!

Octavia walked alongside both Clarke and Lexa, in silence. They were on their way towards Azgeda’s territory and Bellamy was supposed to meet them halfway.

“Indra will have no trouble with that radio, right?” Clarke asked, mostly trying to break the tension.

“She’ll have no problem, Clarke” Octavia assured

“That will not be the problem…” Lexa whispered “Both Arkadia and Trikru will have no time to go and help each other after an alert signal is given”

The blonde nodded “Which is why we are doing this, right?”

Lexa nodded “Still… I’m afraid they’ll send a split army for both sides”

“Then we’ll take them down easily” Octavia said “And we warned Indra of that possibility. There are guards all over and…”

“I don’t feel comfortable with that” Lexa said

Octavia rolled her eyes “Well, it is what we can do. What else do you suggest?!”

The former commander did not reply, instead, she remained lost in her thoughts.

“Thought I wouldn’t find you, for a moment”

The voice of Bellamy called the ladies attention. He smiled at them, approaching them, observing his sister, mainly.

Octavia, however, paid no attention, preferring to ignore him.

He gulped “Well… uh, what’s the plan?”

Clarke sighed “Ok well… I suppose we are kind of improvising, after all” she stared at Lexa, who didn’t seem so confident of their doings.

“Well, then…” he stared at them “Shall we think things through as we walk?”

“Sure…” Clarke said, feeling the tension she was trying to break actually getting worse. After all, on the one hand Octavia refused to talk to her brother. On the other hand, Lexa seemed to be having second thoughts about everything.

And she had no idea what to do, suddenly.

Not far from there, Benjen lead the rest of the group through the desert woods he already knew too well. Alicia walked right beside him, while the others stood behind, with a slower, limping Negan.

“Is it normal we haven’t crossed paths with anyone?” Alicia asked

“We did cross paths with several border guards” Benjen stated

“What?”

“You wouldn’t have seen them…” he explained, knowing they were very well camouflaged.

Yet, her question made perfect sense and she was actually right. Though they were avoiding main villages, it wasn’t usual they haven’t crossed paths with anyone.

But Benjen didn’t want to startle anyone.

After all, he’d been gone for too long and had no idea how things were or what had happened.

And, if he felt this huge sense of success, before, he was progressively feeling nervous.

“We are avoiding villages” He explained “Though we are not far from my clan’s territory”

“And TonDc?”

He nodded at her “Sha…”

Benjen was about to continue, when the group suddenly stopped, sensing movement nearby.

“Guys…” Yumiko warned, behind them.

Benjen raised his hand, for them to stick together, calmly. He observed his surroundings and tried to concentrate.

Whatever it was, was close.

Alicia felt her heart beating fast and tried to fight the fear threatening to consume her. And she was sure she wasn’t the only one in the group.

After all, they were all aware they were now in a different place, one where walkers were the least of their problems. A place where everyone only knew violence.

And Alicia wasn’t sure how to feel about the imminent risk of being attacked and having to fight someone who probably trained his or her whole life.

“It stopped, whatever it was” Magna said

Benjen, on the other hand, turned to them, from a small distance “No… whatever it was, was killed”

Everyone stopped, air suddenly stuck in their throats.

“Kid, you’re telling me there’s a murderer around and we’re out here in the open” Strand spoke

“I will go and check it out. Stay here, don’t move. Eyes up and all around” Benjen said

“What do you mean eyes up?” Strand asked, again

“Trees” Both Magna and Negan spoke

“You are not going alone…!” Alicia exclaimed, but Benjen signaled her to stay still as he walked away.

Magna sighed, observing her surroundings “I was actually enjoying this place just a while ago…”

“No shit” Strand said, also scared

“Fucking reality check, guys” Negan spoke “It’s been months since the kid was here. Who knows what fucking changed. He said they live in constant fucking conflict, did he not?”

Yumiko nodded “I am not enjoying this”

“Oh, shit!” Strand suddenly exclaimed

Alicia and Magna were the first to turn and see the group of men running towards them. And they definitely didn’t look friendly.

“Stop or I’ll shoot!” Alicia threatened

“Skaikru!” One of them yelled, while they didn’t stop.

“Shit, Benjen warned us about this” Strand groaned, getting his gun ready, but Alicia was the first to pull the trigger, still from a distance, taking one of them down.

However, right after that, Benjen ran past them and towards the now three attackers left.

“I guess they are definitely not fucking friendly” Negan commented as Benjen skillfully put them down.

Alicia observed him as he spoke to them in trigedasleng, yet not quite understanding. Then, she watched him killing two of the men, merciless, while the third one, was only knocked out.

“What is going on, Benjen?” Alicia quickly asked Benjen as he dragged the man towards the group.

“That’s what I need to find out…” he replied “Something is very wrong here… but we need to get to a safe zone. I don’t know how many more of them are there…” he looked at her, then at the group, who just nodded

“Where?”

He smiled “I grew up here, I know a place.” He turned to the others “Follow me”

“Benjen…?” Alicia whispered, walking alongside him “I killed one of them”

The young man stared at her “Believe me, ai snogon… he would have killed you if you didn’t shoot first.” He put his arm around her and kissed her forehead “Do not haunt yourself for that… please”

Alicia took a deep breath “Who are they?”

“Azgeda”

“Wait…” Magna intervened, clearly after listening to his words “you said those Azgeda guys weren’t trustworthy”

“They’re not” Benjen said “Here…” he pointed to a cave “It should be safe here, for a while…” he sighed “I need to tie him up”

Strand quickly moved to help him, while the ladies stayed with Negan and helped him take a sit down, as comfortable as possible.

“I’ll be your fucking doom if we are attacked and need to run” Negan said

“Don’t you even dare starting that conversation, Negan” Alicia looked at him “We are not leaving you”

The older man stared at her, sadly

“Get some moments to rest, eat, drink…” Benjen said, sitting down in front, a small distance away from their hostage.

“What’s on your mind, lukot?” Magna asked

Alicia sat next to Benjen, noticing he was playing with a stray of dark hair.

“It was a kid… a dead kid” Benjen explained “He was Trikru. His guys killed him”

“Kid…” Negan spoke “What the fuck is going on in this place?”

“I don’t know” Benjen honestly answered “But we shouldn’t move to TonDC without knowing for sure”

“What if these Azgeda guys have taken some kind of control?” Alicia asked

“That’s what I fear. It is dangerous outside, I have no idea how many more there could be” Benjen spoke “It is not normal for Azgeda to walk freely outside their territory, like this. They are attacking us”

“So, your plan is to wake him up so he can speak” Yumiko asked, pointing at the unconscious guy

“At least, something…”

Magna quickly stood up “Well then, let’s not waist time!”

“Wait…!” Alicia was about to stop her, but it was too late. Magna was already hitting him hard enough.

And, eventually, he really did wake up.

His eyes observed them all, quietly, yet with an unconcerned expression. However, for a moment, he grew serious, as he noticed Alicia.

Of course, for him, she looked like the commander of the twelve clans.

“Lexa kom Trikru, yu kik raun”

“Oh…” Alicia stared at him, then at the others, who immediately understood the reaction.

“Shof op” Benjen quickly intervened, approaching the man

“Benjen kom Trikru” he laughed “Yu kik raun”

“What the fuck is he saying?” Negan asked

However, Benjen ignored him, and moved an inch closer to the man “Why are you in this territory?”

The man laughed “Yet another one who prefers the common tongue. What is it about Skaikru that fascinates you so much?”

Magna quickly punched him, not appreciating his words. Yet, Yumiko moved to grab her “C’mon babe, he’s not worth your nerves”

“They are not Skaikru” Benjen said

The man chuckled at him, but Benjen insisted “What are you doing in Trikru territory?”

“Why would you want to know that so bad, uh?” He asked “The commander is right next to you. Wouldn’t she know?” he asked

Benjen stared at him, wondering how he should approach him next. Yet, the man continued

“You are up to something, are you not? Why would I say anything at all?”

“I am not the commander” Alicia quickly spoke.

The man laughed “Is this some kind of vision then?”

“My name’s Alicia”

Benjen signaled her to stop, not wanting to share any details with that man. Yet, he knew he would have to convince him of something if he was to extract some kind of information.

“Why would Heda walk around in Skaikru clothes?” Benjen asked “And without her guards’ escolt? Without her costume?” He raised an eyebrow, turning to Alicia “She would definitely not be carrying a fire gun, with her”

The man shrugged, still not convinced “How would I know? Heda is supposedly dead.” He turned to Alicia “But now I see you, with my own eyes, alive”

Of course, suddenly, the tension was thicker, within the cave.

Alicia was petrified, trying to breath but the air seemed to be suddenly missing.

As to Benjen, he quickly moved, grabbing the man by his collars, totally enraged “Chit daun bilaik?!”

The man laughed “Lis yu ste mema sleng-de in”

Benjen frowned “ANSWER ME!”

The man suddenly frowned, staring from Benjen to Alicia “I am confused.”

“What happened to Lexa?!” Yumiko intervened

“Chich op!”

The man stared at Alicia “So, you really are not Lexa…”

“CHICH OP!” Benjen punched the man

“Heda is dead!” he quickly spoke “There’s no commander. The flame is missing”

Benjen punched him again, breaking his nose in the process, as he screamed “NO!”

“That is the truth” The man continued to laugh, even in pain.

The young man could feel the entire world crashing upon him. And he found no strength to hold the man, no more.

Alicia could feel his panic, but couldn’t move, either.

Her sister was dead?

_Was this all in vain?_

_We’re too late._

Everyone was silent, not daring to speak as they processed the news. However, once minimally recovered, the man laughed, yet again.

“I get it. You found out about this Branwoda and left to get her. That’s why you haven’t been around. That’s why you don’t know what is going on”

Benjen frowned at him, as he continued “It was Gustus who sent you away, right? Always such a fool…”

Benjen punched the man, again “You don’t know my father”

“I did know your father. Who didn’t? Heda’s finest guard…” He laughed, before his eyes widened “Oh! You also don’t know, uh?”

Benjen was gulping, by then, sensing what was to come.

“Poor kid, always wanting to impress your father. A traitor”

Benjen clenched his fist as he continued “Lexa killed your father, yongon”

“That’s a lie” he quickly said

“En’s ridiyo” the man laughed.

Benjen couldn’t be sure of what took over him, in that moment. Yet, everything around him seemed to more in slow motion. The voices around him seemed distant. He was punching the tied up man, brutally, but he had lost the notion of that. He could feel people trying to grab him, trying to separate them.

But there was no use.

“Dead… He is dead” Strand said, as Benjen could finally hear him.

Benjen stood up, trying to get some air in his lungs and brain. His eyes caught a glimpse of Alicia, who stared at him, both worriedly and sadly.

He then stared at the man, again.

The man he just beat to death.

He had to get out of that cave, so he did.

Everything had to be a lie.

Everything was upside down.

His father couldn’t be dead.

Lexa couldn’t be dead.

It was all wrong.

“That was fucking intense” Negan whispered, still within the cave “Let him breathe”

Alicia remained silent, sitting in a corner. Part of her wanted to run after Benjen and comfort him. He’d just got the news his father and sister died, after all. But she couldn’t move, not just yet.

She felt Magna approaching her, only to give her a hug.

“Maybe he was lying, right?” she whispered, incapable of stopping herself to desperately hold onto hope.

Magna stared at her “Maybe, maybe not” she grabbed her cheeks “We will find out, ok?”

If the tension was almost unbearable, before, in that moment it got even worse. Both Yumiko and Magna decided to give both Alicia and Benjen some space and went to get rid of the dead man’s body.

Strand, however, watched Benjen from a distance. The younger man paced around, outside the cave, immensely distressed. He decided not to approach him, just yet and remained at the entrance of the cave.

Alicia hadn’t moved from her spot, feeling as if she wasn’t capable of. Yet, Negan slowly limped towards her, eventually. He launched his arm around her and gave her a much needed hug.

“We are not sure of anything yet, honey” Strand said, from the entrance as he watched them

“What if she really is dead? I can’t stop thinking about it” Alicia breathed

Negan looked at her “We need to figure out exactly what the fuck happened young lady” he sadly smiled at her

Strand nodded “Yes, you shouldn’t suffer from anticipation” he said “You’ve been through enough to let yourself go down because of some asshole’s words”

“But…” Alicia took a deep breath, leaning forward “Why would that guy and his men be walking around this territory… and killing Benjen’s people? Something is up”

Negan nodded “Maybe there’s a fucking war out there, ok? After all, Benjen went to get you because things were ugly as fuck here, right?”

Alicia nodded, and Strand complemented “Of course, but it doesn’t mean Lexa is dead, right? And this guy was obviously trying to get to Benjen’s nerves, about his father…”

Alicia looked at Strand “How was he supposed to react, though, Strand? What if his father died?”

“It’s fucking weird though” Negan confessed “I mean… I don’t want to sound like the fucking asshole I am, Licia, but the whole story about daddy never made much sense… I never fucking liked it”

Alicia raised an eyebrow “What are you saying?”

Negan rubbed his hair, unsure of how to put his thoughts to words “If daddy always knew about you, why send the boy after you now? It is fucking weird!” he explained

“I’m not sure I get where you’re going with this” Alicia spoke, unsure

“Holy fuck…” Strand’s eyes widened, in realization “Do you think he actually meant to harm Alicia?”

Alicia frowned, as Negan nodded “And this asshole talking about him betraying Lexa? I don’t know man… maybe he was not talking shit. Just fucking provoked Benjen with the truth”

“Are you saying Benjen lied to me?” Alicia frowned “You’re all crazy!”

Strand sighed, staring at Negan.

“That is true”

Benjen’s voice suddenly startled them.

Alicia stared at him, with widened eyes “W-What?” she could sense his jitters.

He was staring at the floor, trembling like a leaf.

“My father… he did intend to swap you and Lexa if things ever got… deadly…”

“Now… that is not fucking funny, kid” Strand spoke

“I wouldn’t let him!” Benjen quickly said “Never”

Alicia stared at Benjen, still doubting she heard him correctly. “Yet… you looked for me with that purpose” she stated

“I…” Benjen avoided her stare “I’m sorry… Alicia. I would have never convinced you to come if… I needed to try to get Lexa’s safe…”

“You’ve had plenty of time to tell me the truth, though, Benjen!”

He nodded “I know! I’m so sorry, Alicia… I never…”

Alicia stood up, storming out of the cave “Get out of my fucking sight!”

Once she left, leaving him behind with both Strand and Negan, the younger man punched the wall, letting his pain and frustration out.

“That’s messed up, kid” Strand frowned at him

“I’m not sure why I’m more fucking raging… if for the fucking fact you’ve lied or for the fact you only changed your fucking mind because you fell in love with your hostage!” Negan exclaimed

“She’s not my…”

“Oh, yes, she fucking is! If you fucking intended to put her in harm’s way!”

“What the hell is going on?” Magna suddenly entered the cave

Benjen, however, couldn’t take it anymore. So, he left the cave, as well, making sure not to approach Alicia, just yet.

“God damnit!” Magna cursed “This is the exact moment where all of us should stick together”

The men sighed “This is fucked up”

“Hey Lex…”

The former commander turned to stare at her lover’s ocean eyes.

Clarke had been thinking of a way to approach her, allowing Bellamy the time to attempt a conversation with his sister.

“Clarke” Lexa whispered

“Talk to me… what’s bothering you so much?” Clarke smiled “Because yesterday you did just fine in making me feel positive about all this”

Lexa shrugged “I’m sorry Clarke, I don’t want to scare you” she whispered “To be honest I don’t even know how to explain it”

“Just a feeling, then” Clarke grabbed her hand, staring at her, lovingly “I think that after everything we’ve been through, this can hardly be worse, uh?”

Lexa smiled at her “What did you do to last night’s Clarke?”

The blonde shrugged “What did you do to last night’s Lexa?”

The former commander smiled at her “Ai hod yu in”

“I love you, too”

“Guys?!”

The couple turned to notice the siblings stood distant from one another, which meant Octavia didn’t allow her brother to talk much.

And, by then, she was the one calling for their attention.

Lexa quickly approached her, kneeling on the edge of the mountain they’d just crossed. Being on higher ground gave them the privileged view.

“Are they…?” Bellamy asked, as they watched a pair of guys running.

“Azgeda.” Clarke completed “They are in a hurry”

“Weird…” Octavia commented “If something happened with either Trikru or Skaikru, we would know. So this probably means nothing”

Lexa observed them, quietly, before speaking “Radio both. Ask them to send a group and search the areas for something odd… something suspicious”

Octavia shrugged “Alright”

“And we must hurry” Lexa said

Bellamy sighed “Well, at this pace, it shouldn’t take us long”

“Let’s go then”

Negan was limping around the area, worried Alicia might get far from their reach and into literal danger. After all, it would be so, especially for her, looking exactly like Lexa.

He found her sitting against a tree, holding against her own legs and resting her face in her knees.

“Hey kiddo…” he limped to sit next to her, allowing his hand to rest on her back “I’m real sorry about this whole fucked up shit…”

Alicia took her time, incapable of responding.

“For whatever my opinion’s fucking worth, I’m fucking sure the kid wouldn’t allow any harm to come to you”

Alicia shocked her head “Maybe now… it doesn’t excuse the fact he lied this whole time. And he did intend to or he wouldn’t have brought me here!”

Negan sighed, pushing her into his embrace.

“And if she’s dead, Negan…” Her words came out in a sob

“Shhhh… I’m sorry Licia…” he kissed her forehead

“All of this was in vain… you guys left a hell of a safe place, friends… family… you left it all behind to help me and what? What for?!”

Negan shocked his head “We weren’t forced to do shit. We did as we fucking wanted to” he whispered “I’m sorry we’ve held such high hopes of finding her, kiddo…”

“What am I supposed to do, now?” she shocked her head, clinging onto him

Negan shrugged “I’m not fucking sure, kiddo… but I’m sure your sister must have people who were close to her… you didn’t make this whole fucking journey just to leave now, did ya?” he asked “I’m sure you’ll want to know the fucked up world your sis lived in”

Alicia took a deep breath, slightly moving away “You’re right, you know… I want to know. Everything”

Negan stared at her “Weeeell, before any of that, we need to know what is going on in this fucking place. So don’t fucking start to… hey!”

Alicia was suddenly up “I need to get to Polis. That’s where the commander lives. That’s where she spent most of her life. That and TonDC, but since Azgeda has probably taken TonDC, I’ll go to Polis and…”

“Wow wow wow, fucking wow” Negan interrupted her, groaning as he stood up “You are not going anywhere, princess”

Alicia sighed, yet she wasn’t able to reply, because suddenly Yumiko called for them.

“Guys, quick!” she sounded quite alarmed

Alicia quickly helped Negan over to where Yumiko stood with both Strand and Magna “What’s going on?”

“A large group is approaching” Magna said “And I have no fucking idea where Benjen is…”

They all stared at the horizon, where, despite the whole darkness, many lights started to be seen.

A large group was in the forest.

“Shit…” Strand said “They can’t see Alicia.”

Negan nodded “That’s fucking right, for all fucking obvious reasons” he turned to Alicia “We need to go”

“Are you really thinking about leaving Benjen behind?!” Magna said, turning to Alicia “Look he may have acted wrong but he doesn’t deserve this.”

Alicia stared at Magna, sadly, as she continued “He just found out he lost his sister and his father”

“We don’t know if that’s true” Alicia gulped

“Guys we have no fucking time!” Strand quickly held Negan’s hand “We split. You, Magna and Yumiko stay and try to get Benjen. Hold this” he handed him a radio

Negan quickly nodded at him, but Yumiko quickly protested “Guys we cannot split up!”

“Yes, we can” Magna quickly held her lover’s face “And you’re going with them.”

“What?”

“They’re right, Alicia can’t be seen. If they killed the previous commander we all know what they’ll do if they see her” she put her fingers over her mouth, preventing her from protesting “But I can’t leave Benjen behind and we’d be too many to hide from them. Go with them.”

“We’re parting from each other again?” Yumiko whispered

“We’ll find each other again, I promise” Magna kissed her “Please, we don’t have much time”

“C’mon!” Strand said

Alicia stared at them, unsure. Despite the whole situation, there was this nervousness within, just thinking about the idea of leaving Benjen behind.

“Go” Magna approached her, holding both her shoulders “This is what Benjen would have liked, to keep you safe. And please…” she sadly smiled at her “deep down you know he’s crazy for you. And that he’d never allow anyone to put you in harm’s way”

Alicia stared at her, trembling, as Strand pushed her to leave “Find him”

Magna nodded “Be safe and keep the radio close!” she sighed, watching them run away.

Once she turned to Negan, she sighed “What will I do with you, crippled one?”

Negan shrugged “Who would fucking guess we’d turn out to be here, in this fucking hell of a situation, uh?”

“I need to find Benjen. You stay here” Magna said

“Like hell I will.”

“What’s the part of you’re fucking slow that you’re not understanding?”

“Princess, we need to get to higher ground and we’ll be able to see best”

“It’s a fucking forest, Negan” Magna said “And they’re tree climbers, remember?”

Negan sighed “The kid did not go fucking far.”

“He was too upset, Negan.” Magna said

“Look, all I know is that if we part there’s no way we can communicate to get back together. Something can happen to you”

Magna sighed “Or you”

“See, we stick together”

“Fuck” Magna cursed “Let’s go and remain silent along the way. He has to be close”

Lexa and Clarke were exchanging a few glances as they walked, in the darkness of the night, alongside a Bellamy that seem hurt after all the failed attempts to make her sister talk to him and solve their problems.

Clarke caught Bellamy observing them and showed him an encouraging smile, hoping he’d understand she was trying to motivate him not to give up.

“Shhh” Octavia raised her hand, only from a small distance further.

“What is it?” Bellamy quickly approached, followed by the other couple.

Then, they all saw what seemed like a gathering of at least 20 people.

“We are getting close to Azgeda” Bellamy spoke

“They must be guarding the borders and they’re just meeting for a possible follow up or something like that…” Clarke spoke

“Maybe, but not only” Lexa whispered “Those are the men we saw in a hurry, a while ago”

Clarke observed them quietly, noticing they were providing water to the recent arrivals.

“I’ll go closer, stay here” Octavia said

“Are you crazy?” Bellamy quickly said

Octavia turned back, to look at her brother “I’m stealthy. Plus, we can’t risk none of them to be seen, can we?” she pointed at both Clarke and Lexa

The young man gulped “Please be careful?”

She nodded “Stay here, do not be seen”

“You too” Clarke whispered

And, in fact, Octavia was quite stealthy. Not that she needed to prove anything, yet, after a while, no one from both sides was able to see her.

“What do you think they’re talking about?” Bellamy asked

“I guess we’ll find out if O can hear them”

“She can only hear them if she gets too close, that’s insanely dangerous” Bellamy breathed

“Relax” Lexa said “Your sister is a true warrior. Plus, we are here”

Bellamy stared at the former commander, for a few moments, before showing her a small smile “Ok, you’re right.”

They had to wait for a good while, before they noticed the men starting to spread.

“Where the hell is Octavia…?” Clarke asked in a whisper

“Approaching” Lexa whispered back

“What? Where?”

“Here, guys” Octavia suddenly showed up, out of nowhere “That was fun”

Clarke smiled at her “Did you listen to something of interest?”

Octavia took a deep breath “I can’t be sure. I don’t even know if I understood at all… the guys we saw before, they were there”

Clarke nodded “Yes, we noticed”

“Ok so… apparently, during one of their attempts to get into TonDC there was a conflict with a few men…”

“So?” Bellamy asked “It’s not a surprise they try to get men to spy our moves”

“Yes, but they were in a hurry to tell Roan that they spotted someone named Benjen around the area. Some Benjen kom Trikru?”

While Clarke’s eyes widened, Lexa stood petrified in her spot.

“Who? Who’s that?” Bellamy asked

“I don’t know, I never heard of a Benjen…”

“Oh my god…” Clarke turned to Lexa, who was still digesting that information “Are you certain?” She then turned to Octavia “You heard correctly?”

Octavia looked at them, suspiciously “Yes, I heard it right. Who’s this guy?!”

Clarke took a deep breath and turned to Lexa, who was now staring right into her eyes. And right there, the blonde knew what was going through her lover’s mind

“No.” She quickly shocked her head “Lexa we are close now”

The former commander stared at her, sadly “I need to go”

“Lexa, please?”

“What is going…” Bellamy was interrupted by his sister, who quickly shushed him.

“You are capable of moving worlds, Clarke. And the three of you are able to do wonders. I know you can finish this. I’m sorry” Lexa approached the horse

“Are you leaving me here?” Clarke took a step closer, feeling her heartbeat reaching an insanely fast pace

Lexa gulped, turning to the blonde once again “Clarke… please, if there’s just a small possibility that this is true… I need to go” she reached for Clarke’s hand.

“Lexa…” Clarke breathed

“I am not leaving you. We will meet again” she touched their foreheads “Real soon. Ai swega yu klin”

“This was not the plan. We promised we…” Clarke whispered

“Clarke, you will not engage the enemy. You will only try to get information and march back as soon as you get it. We’ve been through so much worse, you…”

“These were not your words not so long ago…”

“Clarke, I need to know if my brother really is alive”

“If someone sees you, Lexa…”

“Shhh… Clarke, everything will be fine. You will do great, you know you will.”

The blonde took a deep breath “Fine”

The former commander sighed “Clarke…”

“You’re right, it’s fine. I’ll do this and we’ll end this once and for all” Clarke quickly said

“I don’t want us to be on bad terms though” Lexa whispered

The blonde frowned, pushing her into a kiss. The brunette closed her eyes, surrendered. She loved this side of Clarke.

Once they parted, Clarke bit her lip, staring at her “We will, if you don’t get back to me”

Lexa showed her a small smile “Ai hod yu in”

Clarke nodded “I love you. Be safe”

“You too” Lexa quickly jumped on top of the horse and rode off.

“Let’s go guys” Clarke said

“Are you going to give us a damn explanation or what?” Octavia spoke

“What just happened…?” Bellamy asked, confused.

Benjen felt as if his heart was about to explode at any next beat. He was failing to control his breathing and the tears fell from his eyes like never before, in his life.

He had been trying to prepare for bad news, once he returned home. He was aware the truth about his mission to get Alicia was not going to be well received. But he was convinced it would never be this bad. He thought he would be able to tell her, but simultaneously show and prove her there was nothing for her to worry about.

Yet, the place he once called home was upside down.

His father was gone.

Lexa was gone.

Alicia hated him.

He’d been trying to find excuses to reassure himself that the man was probably lying, but he had no reasons to. He knew what his faith would be, anyway.

His hand moved to feel the ground, underneath him. It was dark and he felt disoriented. He found it difficult to breathe.

He couldn’t be sure how much he walked away from the group, but he was sure none of them wanted his closeness, either way.

So, once he felt the people approaching him, murmuring in his mother tongue, he didn’t bother to look up.

Whatever his fate was, he accepted it.

He felt no strength to get back up.

“Chon yu bilaik?!”

Benjen closed his eyes once he recognized the familiar voice. And, even though it took him a while, he did move to look up at everyone.

“Ai haiheda!”

“Benjen kom Trikru” a familiar arm was extended to him “Monin hou”

The young man showed her a sad smile, between tears, and accepted her help to stand up “Ha yun, Indra”


End file.
